Question about sexuality.
- Thread starter MasterOfWorlds
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Yeah. The worst is when people try to set you up because "You're gay, he's gay...you guys should date!". As if "the gay" is the only thing I look for in a guy and is a satisfactory summary of my entire being.nothingspringstomind said:
OT: I started noticing around 11/12. By 13 I had a full blown crush on an exchange camper during summer camp. I did what any 13-year-old would do to try and woo him, I would steal his yarmulke to get his attention.
I know what you mean. I got set up with a guy once because he was Bi too.Dags90 said:
After talking for a while i got the feeling that he was really into me but i really didn't like him at all, but he was *really* insistent on crashing at my place. Eventually i just gave him my bed and slept on the couch.
A few days later, my gay friend who set me up with him told me that the bi guy had had a massive go at him because i didn't put out.
That put me off guys for a while.
I consider myself pansexual, although I'll often use bisexual to describe myself as most people understand that word more. I believe I started questioning sexuality as long as 2 years ago, and in a way, never fully accepted that I was heterosexual, but just shrugged off any homosexual tendencies as just awkward moments or something. Almost as if they were normal, but you were supposed to default back to being attracted only to girls because homosexual attraction wouldn't be as good or something.
There was even a period back then when I enjoyed lots of yaoi and gay porn, and didn't even consciously think "this is gay, I'm bisexual" or anything. I found myself attracted to all kinds of genders and gender identities.
It was actually the moment where I stopped and thought "what am I?" that I felt distressed about the whole thing. For awhile, it was all just in my head, but eventually I realized that I would want to pursue these desires, talk about them, meet similar people and basically open up to a world that was sometimes, unfortunately, indifferent, non-understanding, and hateful, and the fact that it was that way made me somewhat depressed and even uncomfortable with my sexuality.
Suddenly I had to deal with labels, stereotypes, expectations on how to act, expectations on my sexuality and many other things put forth by other people, the media, society and religion. I still don't think the bisexual label fits entirely, sometimes I feel it does, sometimes not, sometimes I feel like mentally adopting other labels (even gay or straight or others) for awhile. I feel like I change orientations like personas, I get into that certain mindset for certain types of attraction.
I think sexuality matters. Not in the negative way, but in that your sexuality is a big part of who you are. I think how fluid my sexuality is, is sort of part of how fluid of a person I am. I assume and embrace many different personas, moods, beliefs, sexual orientations, and occasionally gender identities (although that's one of the harder things to explore, I've found).
There was even a period back then when I enjoyed lots of yaoi and gay porn, and didn't even consciously think "this is gay, I'm bisexual" or anything. I found myself attracted to all kinds of genders and gender identities.
It was actually the moment where I stopped and thought "what am I?" that I felt distressed about the whole thing. For awhile, it was all just in my head, but eventually I realized that I would want to pursue these desires, talk about them, meet similar people and basically open up to a world that was sometimes, unfortunately, indifferent, non-understanding, and hateful, and the fact that it was that way made me somewhat depressed and even uncomfortable with my sexuality.
Suddenly I had to deal with labels, stereotypes, expectations on how to act, expectations on my sexuality and many other things put forth by other people, the media, society and religion. I still don't think the bisexual label fits entirely, sometimes I feel it does, sometimes not, sometimes I feel like mentally adopting other labels (even gay or straight or others) for awhile. I feel like I change orientations like personas, I get into that certain mindset for certain types of attraction.
I think sexuality matters. Not in the negative way, but in that your sexuality is a big part of who you are. I think how fluid my sexuality is, is sort of part of how fluid of a person I am. I assume and embrace many different personas, moods, beliefs, sexual orientations, and occasionally gender identities (although that's one of the harder things to explore, I've found).
I considered myself bisexual up until recently when I figured out I was pansexual. Well, there was a dark period from 12-14 I believe where I hated the idea that I liked guys since I was a "Christian" at the time. Fell into an abyss of self-hate and was lulled into a near-suicidal depression at one point. Nowadays, I've come to accept I'm attracted to a person based on their personality but I think I'm more sexually attracted to guys then girls. I don't know, I've never been in a real relationship so I have a lot of distress over things still.
I would say this describes me as well.TheLaofKazi said:
I've always been straight but I know a few people who are homosexual, I also suspect a few of my friends are but haven't come out of the closet yet. It sounds like a weird thing to say but I kind of realised when I was about 12 and found my dads hidden copy of Nuts magazine, what a great day that was.
Really I suspect the factors that affect your sexuality differ greatly depending on the person, I know one gay guy who pretty much conforms completely to the ultra-camp stereotype. And it's always been pretty obvious he was gay, the real thing I don't know is whether it was a product of his feminine behaviour or the behaviour a product of his sexuality.
I suspect neither is true and that's why it differs, another of my friends is camp but straight. Whilst another is fairly masculine but gay. My theory would be for some it's a product of behaviour, others it's a genetics thing decided from the moment of conception.
Really I suspect the factors that affect your sexuality differ greatly depending on the person, I know one gay guy who pretty much conforms completely to the ultra-camp stereotype. And it's always been pretty obvious he was gay, the real thing I don't know is whether it was a product of his feminine behaviour or the behaviour a product of his sexuality.
I suspect neither is true and that's why it differs, another of my friends is camp but straight. Whilst another is fairly masculine but gay. My theory would be for some it's a product of behaviour, others it's a genetics thing decided from the moment of conception.
I don't believe one wakes up suddenly and "realises their sexual orientation". What does happen is that one day a boy will notice a girl and think how pretty she is or vice versa. I can only assume that for someone homosexual those feelings would present precisely the same way only for a member of the same sex. Although in that instance I imagine there may potentially be a little confusion and/or uncertainty thrown in.
And the most likely reason for the endless posts about sex, sexuality, rape, pornography, relationships and so on is because the majority of Escapists are teenagers and those are the issues that are most on their minds. If the majority stick around for a few years watch how many topics about car finance, overdrafts and how fondly they remember the Call of Duty era of gaming replace the above
And the most likely reason for the endless posts about sex, sexuality, rape, pornography, relationships and so on is because the majority of Escapists are teenagers and those are the issues that are most on their minds. If the majority stick around for a few years watch how many topics about car finance, overdrafts and how fondly they remember the Call of Duty era of gaming replace the above
I have always been a heterosexual male, though admittedly my emotional personality has led to several (read: way too many) people trying to pull me aside to ask if I was gay. The reasoning behind this has always pissed me off, but I suppose that's a topic for another day.
Does sexuality matter? I guess it depends on your definition of sexuality. My girlfriend, who I've dated for over a year and love more than anything, has had physical relationships with other women before, but they've always been one time things. She's never had a romantic interest in another girl, but she definitively has an appreciation for the female form. Does it affect our relationship? Not really, with the exception that she asks me to take her to restaurants like Hooters and points out the waitresses she thinks are attractive (yeah, she's kind of wonderful).
I guess romantic preferences matter a lot more than sexuality. Unless, of course the two are completely different (i.e. being sexually homosexual but romantically heterosexual), but I don't know of an example of that one.
Does sexuality matter? I guess it depends on your definition of sexuality. My girlfriend, who I've dated for over a year and love more than anything, has had physical relationships with other women before, but they've always been one time things. She's never had a romantic interest in another girl, but she definitively has an appreciation for the female form. Does it affect our relationship? Not really, with the exception that she asks me to take her to restaurants like Hooters and points out the waitresses she thinks are attractive (yeah, she's kind of wonderful).
I guess romantic preferences matter a lot more than sexuality. Unless, of course the two are completely different (i.e. being sexually homosexual but romantically heterosexual), but I don't know of an example of that one.
I'm Heterosexual Male (Wait what?), always have been, I know this is going to sound rather ignorant of homosexuality, but I don't really like the idea of being the subject of anal sex (it just sounds really painful >.< ).
Does sexuality matter? Personally to me it means little, I wont say "no I don't like you because you're gay" however if they start chatting me up I'll feel a little creeped out.
Does sexuality matter? Personally to me it means little, I wont say "no I don't like you because you're gay" however if they start chatting me up I'll feel a little creeped out.
Ooh another Master of Worlds thread! Well I would say that on the 0-6 scale I am either a 1 or a 5 since I can't remember for the life of me which way it goes. That means primarily heterosexual and only incidentally homosexual. I realized I wasn't a 0/6 when I became attracted to one of my friends at university despite them being the same sex. I then wondered if I was bi, but as of this moment I believe it was pretty much just him. As for whether or not sexuality matters, I think it does have an effect on relationships because you are more likely to be happy with someone you're attracted to, but beyond that "incidental" cases cover the rest of the times it might matter.
I've known I was straight since before I was a teenager. My eyes always fixated on bikini girls whenever I saw them on TV or magazines. It wasn't until I was 13 that I became interested in women my own age. Heh, that's probably around the time that girls started to grow boobs.
One thing that confuses me is that I have a huge crush on a geek girl who isn't interested in guys and dating at all but she's definitely not gay. I've been into girls and wanted to date almost my whole life so it's hard for me to grasp that she's just not into guys.
I wish she'd let me have sex with her one time so I can show her what she's been missing.
One thing that confuses me is that I have a huge crush on a geek girl who isn't interested in guys and dating at all but she's definitely not gay. I've been into girls and wanted to date almost my whole life so it's hard for me to grasp that she's just not into guys.
I wish she'd let me have sex with her one time so I can show her what she's been missing.
Lesbian. Never aware of being anything else, never doubted it for a moment. At about the age of 11 light sort of dawned that I was different (and those senses you get when you know being different isn't always safe kicked in). Came out to myself at about 14 (this was many many moons ago). Came out to someone else at about age 17 or 18.
Keep in mind that those formative years for me were 1985 or so. There were no lesbians on TV, no lesbians in the media, it wasn't legal for homosexuality to be mentioned by my teachers at school and I lived in a village. I knew I was different before I had a word for it.
I have only ever known I was attracted to women - from crushing on teachers to full blown romantic attachment it has always been about the women.
Anything else doesn't make any sense to me at all. I'm late 30s now and have never had any romantic or sexual interest in men - that essential bond just doesn't form.
Does it matter? In an ideal world, no. But I won't hold my breath for that world.
Keep in mind that those formative years for me were 1985 or so. There were no lesbians on TV, no lesbians in the media, it wasn't legal for homosexuality to be mentioned by my teachers at school and I lived in a village. I knew I was different before I had a word for it.
I have only ever known I was attracted to women - from crushing on teachers to full blown romantic attachment it has always been about the women.
Anything else doesn't make any sense to me at all. I'm late 30s now and have never had any romantic or sexual interest in men - that essential bond just doesn't form.
Does it matter? In an ideal world, no. But I won't hold my breath for that world.
It's nice to see someone else that feels the same way. I still haven't been in a relationship myself, and sometimes feel distressed over it, especially since a lot of people my age (I'm 18) have already been in one. I feel like the time is coming soon though, I wasn't very social for awhile, but now I've become much more outgoing and comfortable with myself. A lot of people's friends and social environment just sort of led them to at least one awkward date or a relationship it seems. But somehow I ended up in a sort of sheltered group of friends.chaosyoshimage said:
Honestly I think my sexual orientation is based on romances films I like, just because I want to be the best boyfriend/husband I can be and have a wife who loves me fully and I love in return (well on the way to that) honestly, my sexuality comes behind that desire, though it's not entirely disconnected. Being a child of divorce and having lofty ideas of real romance and marriage I guess I was cynical about romance for the longest time, at that point I had little to no sexual drive, then I fell in love with my current girlfriend and it's back. I think that my orientation is less of why I love and love is more of why I sex, which I wonder if that interests you my friend because it's me, and when it comes to the escapist we're all a big family, so feel free to ask any questions you desire.
I'm rather, and completely, gay; I'm physically attracted to men, but scarecly attracted to their personalities. I've never dated anyone, and I've only understood who I am for about 5 years now, but I'm moving on up in the education world so things may (WILL) change. I always knew I was diferent from most boys (oh god); no matter how typical that sounds its true, although I'm VASTLY more feminie which starts a completely new discussion on gender identity and sex, but my sexuality was always... there. I've always enjoyed the compnay of women more than men, friendship wise, although I hardly find women attractive at all. I can admire beauty, but not feel anything more than admiration.
Overall, I found out I was definetly gay when I was about... 11? I still don't like the company of men, although I've not really hit the "blossoming" stage of people yet (17+); so I might just be suprised by some people I find later on in life as I start to expand socially wise. I honestly have no idea. BASTARDINGLIFE. Oh, there was 1 male who was rather "perfect" until he decided he wasn't bi and instead was completely straight; leaving me a bit when he didn't talk to me for a whole year after that decision. Oh, MEN, such wonderful creatures. HYPOCRISY.
I honestly care little for people's sexual endeavours.
Overall, I found out I was definetly gay when I was about... 11? I still don't like the company of men, although I've not really hit the "blossoming" stage of people yet (17+); so I might just be suprised by some people I find later on in life as I start to expand socially wise. I honestly have no idea. BASTARDINGLIFE. Oh, there was 1 male who was rather "perfect" until he decided he wasn't bi and instead was completely straight; leaving me a bit
when he didn't talk to me for a whole year after that decision. Oh, MEN, such wonderful creatures. HYPOCRISY.I honestly care little for people's sexual endeavours.
That is EXACTLY my life except I'm one year older. It sucks, but I'm getting more comfortable with myself too and getting past some of my more distressing feelings about my situation.TheLaofKazi said:
