Quotes from your own life
- Thread starter Zechnophobe
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"I'm complaining, yes? but do you know what else I'm doing that you aren't? NOT BEING A FUCKING ASS."
"He ate my arm! I liked that arm! Imma rape his biscuits!"
"It was awesome and confusing, like a thousand angels struggling to give you a handjob at the same time..."
"The difference between me and you that means I keep girlfriends and you don't is that I am currently baking blueberry muffins for a beautiful woman, and you are calling me pussy-whipped for doing so. The secret to happiness is in the muffins. Look at them. OBSERVE AT THEIR MUFFINY SECRETS!!!"
"Is that a frozen panda leg? I'm calling the police."
"Yes, I'll cook dinner tonight! Just let me educate these noobs first. What? Of course pwnage takes precedence over steamed broccoli! Have you ever eaten steamed broccoli? It's like Satan's fibrous armpit hair..."
"It was awesome and confusing, like a thousand angels struggling to give you a handjob at the same time..."
"The difference between me and you that means I keep girlfriends and you don't is that I am currently baking blueberry muffins for a beautiful woman, and you are calling me pussy-whipped for doing so. The secret to happiness is in the muffins. Look at them. OBSERVE AT THEIR MUFFINY SECRETS!!!"
"Is that a frozen panda leg? I'm calling the police."
"Yes, I'll cook dinner tonight! Just let me educate these noobs first. What? Of course pwnage takes precedence over steamed broccoli! Have you ever eaten steamed broccoli? It's like Satan's fibrous armpit hair..."
"Why is selfish such a negative word? When has the human race done anything beneficial to something that isn't the human race?"
"People aren't rational. They're rationalising."
"People aren't rational. They're rationalising."
"It's Masochism disguised as Capitalist intentions" - Explaining to my friend why I work 9am - 5pm then 10pm - 5am on weekends.
Playing video games is like masturbation, I do it alone and in the dark.
Pretty sure I wasn't the first nor will I be the last to come up with that one.
Pretty sure I wasn't the first nor will I be the last to come up with that one.
So I'm hosting a private Minecraft server with a couple mates when it starts lagging. Then this little gem happens:
(A little context on this one, my friend is an atheist and I'm a christian. We have heated but good-humoured debates and constantly play-insult each other.)
Friend: Oh god this lag. Jack must be googling god-related things.
Me: Yeah, I'm torrenting Christian porn.
(A little context on this one, my friend is an atheist and I'm a christian. We have heated but good-humoured debates and constantly play-insult each other.)
Friend: Oh god this lag. Jack must be googling god-related things.
Me: Yeah, I'm torrenting Christian porn.
"They say the wisest man is he who understands that he understands nothing, so go sit in the corner and think about what a fucking idiot you are."
"There's always time for a last minute"
"Have you ever seen what a hammer can do to a man? I haven't either but if you continue to annoy me we'll find out very quickly"
"If you don't like my sideburns you can cut them off, but I must warn you I'm not a big fan of your hands and I intend to respond in kind"
"The worst thing a person can do with their life is live in ignorance."
"Well cover me in gravy and call me biscuits"
My older brother just tonight
"Why am I fiddling with my nipples?"
"There's always time for a last minute"
"Have you ever seen what a hammer can do to a man? I haven't either but if you continue to annoy me we'll find out very quickly"
"If you don't like my sideburns you can cut them off, but I must warn you I'm not a big fan of your hands and I intend to respond in kind"
"The worst thing a person can do with their life is live in ignorance."
"Well cover me in gravy and call me biscuits"
My older brother just tonight
"Why am I fiddling with my nipples?"
"Gabbling?! I don't gabble! Gabbling is just uneducated random words coming out in some kind of order with no point!
I BABBLE. Babbling requires skill. It is an art form. You must master the technique of three things at once. Talking a lot, saying nothing but implying everything"
A long one, but can't exactly remember the rest.
I BABBLE. Babbling requires skill. It is an art form. You must master the technique of three things at once. Talking a lot, saying nothing but implying everything"
A long one, but can't exactly remember the rest.