Race/Ethnicty in Attraction and Dating

[Frokane]

Wooo, aint messing about with this one, time for something a bit heavy.

So one of the most fascinating things to me as someone who works in the dating industry, is that racial discrimination(both positive and negative) is broadly socially unacceptable in all contexts apart from dating. You can hear something like " I dont find people particularly attractive" or "I find myself more drawn to qualities in people". Now I'm not saying its racism and I'm not saying its not racism, but its an aspect of preference that seems to be uncomfortable to explaore so......lets explore it.

I ask you these questions.

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

I will answer theese myself, but feel free to go first. Unlike my other threads, this is a fairly serious topic so I although I would usually encourage it, I ask that the snark be kept to a minimum.

 

[happyninja42]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

Seeing as I'm married now, no, but I did. I hooked up with a latin woman in my 20's, and had some heavy makeout sessions with an african-american woman as well. I'm currently married to a half-korean woman, and prior to that, there were several casual lovers, most of which were caucasian to the best of my memory.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

Not sure what you mean here, are you asking what do I think of my culture's view on racial preferences? I live in the US, and the common in our society is "whatever goes". Of course, regionally, that can vary, based on prejudices and such, but for the most part, the society opinion is whatever race is fine.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

I tend to find myself strongly attracted to races that have very striking eyes, usually in contrast to skin color. So women with darker skin tones tend to get a bit of a bonus on my attraction scale, but it's hardly exclusive. I'm just as smitten by white women with striking eyes. The other aspects of what I find attractive in women aren't really ethnically specific. Thick frame (Like Ashley Graham proportions), long hair, tall, sexually confident and adventurous, etc. I've met women of most ethnicities that had these traits, and I found them all very desirable.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

I like distinct features that stand out? I don't really care why I like it, in the clinical context, it's just what I like, end of story. I can probably trace my love of distinct eyes to my younger days watching movies like the original DUNE, and seeing Lady Jessica Boheim with those blue eyes, in that dark hair of hers, and Sean Young as Chani, also sporting some striking eyes.

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

Yes, my tastes have changed, in that I find a wider spectrum of women attractive, though it doesn't have to do with their ethnicity, usually body types. And will it change in the future? How the hell should I know? I doubt it, other than to maybe continue to expand.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Do I date outside my race? Yes, exclusively. Its weird, but white women do absolutely nothing for me. I don't find them interesting to talk to or look at or be around. Its weird. I don't hate, but you know how some people are dog people, other cat? Yeah, so too with my and white women. Just not my thing.

And honestly I can't imagine myself changing. I grew up around white women, went to school with them, college, etc...never once was I attracted to them.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

- Yep. Currently in an interracial relationship and have dated women from 6-7 different races.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

- I don't really care what others think, but I personally find an preference to the exclusion of one or all others to be narrow-minded.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

- Nope, a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, and you can find those on every continent on the planet.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

- n/a

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

- Nope and nope. I come from a diverse and very welcoming family, so have never had a predilection for painting people with a broad brush.

 

[LetalisK]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?
-No, but not for lack of trying.

How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)
-Don't care.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?
-I haven't found one that is inherently unattractive, but that's not to say I've been attracted to all in equal proportions.

Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?
-*shrug*

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?
-No and no.

 

[Sonmi]

-Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

Sure, haven't dated anyone in about a year, and while most of the girls I've dated have been white, I've also dated latinas and a Jewish girl (if you want to classify them as their own ethnicity). I've tried with an East Asian girl too, but it never ended up working out.

-How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

Whatever floats your boat, just stay respectful and try not to fetishize, and it's fine.

-Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

I have a thing for blondes, which I suppose means I find myself more infatuated with whites more often, but I think women of every race can be attractive.

-Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

No clue.

-Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

I'd highly doubt it.

 

[Baffle]

I'm currently married to a half-korean woman

When you talk about your wife you should avoid phrases like "I'm currently..." because it suggests that's a situation prone to change. Apparently.

Like... 'I'm currently watching The Bill, but I'll be switching to Up the Garden Path later.'

 

[happyninja42]

I'm currently married to a half-korean woman

When you talk about your wife you should avoid phrases like "I'm currently..." because it suggests that's a situation prone to change. Apparently.

Like... 'I'm currently watching The Bill, but I'll be switching to Up the Garden Path later.'

...yes, thank you dr. phil, I respectfully say that you know nothing about my relationship with my wife, or what type of phrasing is acceptable when we speak.

 

[McElroy]

Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

I haven't had a conversation with a non-white woman (of my age, I talked with an elderly Indian[?] lady in Poland) during my adult life (6 years). I date so so rarely anyway.

How do you view racial preferences as whole? (in society)

If the reason for one's preference is some notion of "exotic" foreigners, I will tell them to screw themselves instead. Because it's only a matter of when that illusion breaks (inb4 "you must think that's the only reason") which leads to trouble. Up until after the baby boomers, 99% of this country grew up never meeting people of other races; they certainly have strong doubts about interracial couples.

Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

Halle Berry is (or was, I guess) hot, Miss Helsinki 2016 certainly isn't. People are individually different, but I'm positive there's some correlation with race. And of course skin colour is just one feature.

Can you describe why you might have these preferences/dislikes?

Never really been around non-white people. Also when I think a bit further I definitely wouldn't consider a serious relationship with a person who has some sort of racial baggage (thank you, social media).

Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

There was a time when I had crushes on girls I actually knew irl. Now I'm just lonely and out of ideas. Well, the internet shall provide. Preferences can and will change.

 

[Baffle]

...yes, thank you dr. phil,

No problem Dr. Humourless, I hope your lovely wife like a no jokes ever.

 

[Phasmal]

Well, I've dated a grand total of two people in my entire life, and both of those guys are white.
I live/d in a pretty white area when I met them and I get crushes on people of any race. I don't really have distinct preferences I just know what I like when I see it.

 

[Frokane]

Do I date outside my race? Yes, exclusively. Its weird, but white women do absolutely nothing for me. I don't find them interesting to talk to or look at or be around. Its weird. I don't hate, but you know how some people are dog people, other cat? Yeah, so to with my and white women. Just not my thing.

And honestly I can't imagine myself changing. I grew up around white women, went to school with them, college, etc...never once was I attracted to them.

If you dont mind me asking, what exactly is your definition of 'white' like does that extend to turkish and sicilillian women as well?

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

SNIP

I'm not sure, that's an interesting question. Certainly I find Latina women, Oriental women, African women and Indian women attractive.
I googled both of them, as Emma Watson came up as a Turkish woman, and she does nothing for me. I mean she's pretty, sure, I just wouldn't be interested in sex with her. So if that's Turkish, then no.
But Sicilian was a pretty look, especially the darker toned women.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I've been with the same person for 4 years and don't date anymore. No qualms about race though.

Halle Berry is (or was, I guess) hot.

 

[Chareater]

-Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

I do sometimes but rarely. I stay with other whites mostly.

-How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

Fine. If you don't find a certain race attractive thats not racist its just a matter of taste.

-Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

Nope. If they are hot they are hot.

-Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

I normally go with whites just because I'm in a mainly white area.

-Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

It could, but I don't think it will.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

1. Do you date outside your race? If so how often?

I'm open to it, but it's not happened.

2. How do you view racial prefrences as whole? (in society)

In dating? I guess I see it as none of my business.

3. Do you find yourself attracted or not attracted to certain race or races?

The right lady from any race will inspire arousal.

4. Can you describe why you might have these prefrences/dislikes?

Uh... I'm horny?

5. Do you think your mind has changed about any of this from the past or is subject to change in the future?

Younger Panda didn't give a shit either. I can't speak for future Panda, that guy is a mystery to me.

 

[LetalisK]

I'm currently married to a half-korean woman

When you talk about your wife you should avoid phrases like "I'm currently..." because it suggests that's a situation prone to change. Apparently.

Like... 'I'm currently watching The Bill, but I'll be switching to Up the Garden Path later.'

Actually, it lets your wife know that this is not a permanent situation should the quality of the relationship begin to suffer. It keeps her on her toes and she puts out that little extra effort.

 

[maninahat]

Yes. I'm white, my ex was Chinese and my current partner is Indian. I didn't "date" much because I end up in long term relationships that last years at a time. If you asked me this when I was younger I would have made a comment about being more attracted to Asians, but in hindsight I think I just liked anyone who was particularly different or distinct from myself because that automatically made them more interesting. In reality I find myself attracted to all races; type matters to me, rather than race.