Random Answers for Random Idiots with Random Questions

[TiloXofXTanto]

I am a strange, strange being who, with a lack of things to do, often takes to answering random questions.
Ask something, and whether or not I know the answer, I'll give you one that still sort of sounds correct, or at least confirms some kind of strangeness.

All questions are allowed, and don't be offended by the title, just an inside joke.

And I'm not kidding, any question will be answered, even the terrible ones, even the ones that are unanswerable, even THAT question.
I'm not kidding John..

[http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php?f=1043&t=309045]

 

[StellarViking]

Here's one I've only ever gotten one satisfactory answer to:

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

 

[Radeonx]

Why am I the greatest person in the history of the universe?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

Here's one I've only ever gotten one satisfactory answer to:

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

The tree will not make a sound unless an animal with working ears is around to convert the vibrations in the air into what is properly determined to be "sound".
It isn't sound until it enters an ear and is converted into such an experience.

Why am I the greatest person in the history of the universe?

Because that Narcissitic bastard in your head told you that you weren't, AND YOU PROVED HIM WRONG!

 

[Mr. Mortiss]

If the movies are right and being an imperfect being makes me perfect, then how the hell am I still to be considered an imperfect being?

 

[Ladette]

How do you pronounce this?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

If the movies are right and being an imperfect being makes me perfect, then how the hell am I still to be considered an imperfect being?

Semantics, realists, and cynical peoples all convincing the rest of us of our own imperfection while simultaneously proving their own imperfection.
Though it is necessary to note that the movies are wrong. Imperfect beings are ideal and interesting, not perfect.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

If time flies like an arrow, do fruit flies like bananas?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

How do you pronounce this?

f_ng-lwi mglu_naf-h Ct(h)u-lu er_ly-eh wga_na-gl Fu(shorter u than normal)-ta-g-n

I laugh at you Cthulu

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

If time flies like an arrow, do fruit flies like bananas?

TRICK QUESTION!
Fruit flies would like bananas even if time didn't fly like an arrow....Which it doesn't, it flows like a river (theoretically, experimentally there may be some difference).

 

[Skorpyo]

Open door, walk in, see this:

What do?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

Open door, walk in, see this:

What do?

Eat it. Eat it, and THEN kill it.

 

[artanis_neravar]

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and it lands on a mime does anyone care?

 

[AvsJoe]

Question: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaa. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAa?

Here's one I've only ever gotten one satisfactory answer to:

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yes. The laws of physics and everything we know about the origin and properties of sound dictate that it does every time. Besides, forest critters hear the crash; if we could find a way to communicate with them, they would describe the sounds of falling trees that didn't get heard by humans.

If time flies like an arrow, do fruit flies like bananas?

TRICK QUESTION!
Fruit flies would like bananas even if time didn't fly like an arrow....Which it doesn't, it flows like a river (theoretically, experimentally there may be some difference).

It doesn't really flow like a river either. It's... well, let's let the doctor explain this one:

Why am I the greatest person in the history of the universe?

Because we all took a vote and you, for some reason, were the winner. No one knows why.

 

[loc978]

I would like to answer the question posed by your avatar, OP: Plaid with cat hair highlights.

Also, if a fat girl falls in the woods, do the trees laugh, or am I just a horrible person?

 

[The Apothecarry]

Okay, here's TWO QUESTIONS:

1) If a man speaks in the forest and there are no women around to hear him, is he wrong?
2) If a fat girl falls in the forest, do the trees laugh?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and it lands on a mime does anyone care?

The tree, for it will be extremely and terribly upset with having gone through the most terrible experience of all time, landing on, near, or around a mime.

 

[subtlefuge]

If everyone in the world was sleeping at the same time, would the universe cease to exist?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

Question: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaa. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAa?

B. nothing more.

I would like to answer the question posed by your avatar, OP: Plaid with cat hair highlights.

Wrong, it's actually purple or teal, depending on your view.

Also, if a fat girl falls in the woods, do the trees laugh, or am I just a horrible person?

The trees don't laugh, that would be rude... they chuckle.

Okay, here's TWO QUESTIONS:

1) If a man speaks in the forest and there are no women around to hear him, is he wrong?
2) If a fat girl falls in the forest, do the trees laugh?

1) Depends on what he's talking about, but I can tell you that he is probably wrong
2) see above