Real men...

[VaderMan92]

eat coal and crap diamonds.
battle communism.
women make them sandwiches without having to smack them.

 

[Quaxar]

Real men bumpfist a picture of Chuck Norris every day as a religious substitute.

Real men say "are you on your period?" When the missus is giving them hell.

Go on, try it, I dare you.

I have!

...

I'm divorced now.

So it was a yes then?

 

[theonlyblaze2]

Real men don't click on threads just to make themselves feel bigger than others by spouting hippie bullshit.

Evidently no one realises that comments are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt unless you put "LOL JK" and a load of smileys at the end of them. Never mind; it can be difficult to get nuances across through text alone.

But, since you mentioned it: When did sexual equality become "hippie bullshit"?

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to get drunk on petrol and chop my own head off with a chainsaw.

Nice image. For some reason I imagined Jeremy Clarkson doing that.

Sorry, dick friend took over my account. Though Real Men do eat Popsicles.

 

[Treblaine]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

(Come on boys and girls, join in before the mods ban us all for Low content posts)

Heee's a Lumberjack and he's Okay
He sleeps all night and works all daaay

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I like to dress in women's clothing
Aaaand hang around in bar

Stop that, this is silly.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa

EVERYONE!

He cuts down trees
He wears high heels...
Suspendies and a bra?

And I'm Ok with that.

____

I love this thread, real men aren't afraid to sleep all day, chop down workers all night and spend all the time in between hanging around in bars.

 

[Quaxar]

So it was a yes then?

Turns out she was just batshit crazy all along. Imagine my surprise!

Whew. At least she had a consistent behaviour then and not a surprising outburst of crazeh.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Real men hunt with only their FISTS
.

Real men go hunting with their hands tied.

Real men go camping with nothing a hunting knife and a rope. Sometimes they leave behind the rope.

Real men look tough in every damn colour, be it pink or camoflage.

 

[manaman]

"Real" men try their hardest to be exactly like me.

Men however already know they are men and don't have to act at all in anyway to be men.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Real men make sure she comes first.

 

[JRCB]

After reading The Kite Runner, our teacher said real men (like Baba) fight bears and build houses.

I hated that book. So much.

Anyway, real men fart thunder and shit lightening.

Actually, real men are Mounties. GO CANADA WOO.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Real Men talk about their feelings.[sic]

Amen, brother.

 

[LightningBanks]

Kick ass and chew gum, and be all out of gum.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Real men watch Lucky Star and K-On!, the anime about the manly men doing manly things.

[http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/]
The mantra you said at the end of your post is the name of a webcomic.

 

[InnerRebellion]

Real men eat dirt and shit diamonds.

 

[viranimus]

Real men do not look physically indistinguishable from a flat chested girl.
Real men dont try to act politically correct to make themselves feel more evolved.
Real men are quickly becoming an endangered species.

 

[Blank Kold]

Real men are ridiculous stereotypes.

"You wrestle bear? I wrestle bear DRUNK."

 

[Snor]

real men post about real men on a real men's forum