Really Bad Jokes

[thecoreyhlltt]

So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.

Think about it.

so he walked into a arb? that don't make no sense

 

[Ein987]

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
>.<

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Where did Caeser keep his armies?

Spoiler

Up his sleevies.

It's shameful how much I laughed when I first heard that.

 

[Yossarian1507]

What is a little Palestinian doing on a swing?

He's pissing off the Sniper.

 

[William Ossiss]

guy walks into a bar with a mushroom.
bartender says "you can have that in here."
guys says "why? he's a fun guy"
fungi
get it?

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

Man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only clingfilm, psychiatrist says "Well I can clearly see your nuts"

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

You had to know it was coming...

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine!

..Sadly enough, I learned of this joke on Dexter's Laboratory, many years ago.

oh that does bring back memories of yesteryear though...

 

[klaynexas3]

There's really nothing more to say.

i fucking love 5secondfilms. such brilliant videos in only 5 seconds

so a man goes to the doctor saying he feels sick. the doctor tests him and says he has gonorrhea-syphilis-itis. man asks if there's a cure. doctor says no but there is a treatment. man asks what it is. doctor says we put you in a room and feed you pancakes the rest of your life. man asks what the pancakes are for. doctor says it's the only think that'll fit under the door

 

[superbatranger]

http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/longest-joke-ever.html

/ Every joke related thread EVER

I can't believe I actually read that entire thing.

 

[Engarde]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
Because if you cant helium or curium, you barium!

 

[finecrazydud]

i once shoot an elephant in my pajamas, still not sure how he got in my pajamas

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Knock Knock Jokes.

I dare you to prove me wrong.

 

[BanthaFodder]

a bad-stupid joke: butter's great, in fact, it's on a roll

a bad-BAD joke: why'd the black guy cross the road? he was chasing the chicken
*trollface*

 

[Thundero13]

Q. Why did the man get fired from the banana factory
A. He threw out all the bent ones! (BA-DUM TISH)

 

[The Long Road]

A wizard was driving to a restaurant to go to dinner with his wife. He turned into the restaurant's parking lot, and now everyone wonders why there are two identical parking lots right next to each other.

 

[William Dickbringer]

One day there were three tomatoes walking down the street, a mama tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato. Baby tomato is walking too slowly, so the daddy tomato goes back, steps on him and says 'ketchup!

 

[Dirty Apple]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Spoiler

No-eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Spoiler

Still no-eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitalia?

Spoiler

Still no fucking eye-deer

I'm worried the whole joke depends on pronunciation.

 

[AceAngel]

Little birdy in the sky
Dropping things from way up high
Farmer Gill wipes his eye
Thanking God that cows don't fly

 

[jack583]

what do you call a car that runs on spice?
tyme travel!!
?

(aslo: this forum is starting to look like the "laugh-in" joke wall!!)