Really Bad Jokes

[MarcusD357]

Why did the boy fall off the swing?
Because he had a nail in his eye.
*Pause for laughs*

 

[MrGameluvr92]

What do you call a man who has lost 75% of his brain? Divorced!

 

[Enigma6667]

"Hey! I thought you said you had diarrhea."
"I did. But now it's...

Spoiler: Wait for it...

...GONE-rrhea."

 

[Lt.Snuffles]

Why did the Toddler drop his lollypop?

Spoiler

He was hit by a train

 

[michael87cn]

You had to know it was coming...

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine!

..Sadly enough, I learned of this joke on Dexter's Laboratory, many years ago.

 

[newfoundsky]

Jesus walks into a bar. He grabs his foot and shouts "Who the hell would leave this in the middle of a lake?"

Yeah.

I went there.

 

[Arqus_Zed]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Spoiler

Because the 'pee' is silent.

Is used to have a fear of hurdles.

Spoiler

But I got over it.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.

Spoiler

Then it hit me.

 

[MrGameluvr92]

I just heard this one:

What do you get when you use LSD along with birth control pills?

A trip without the kids.

 

[Dfskelleton]

When I was trying to think of one I heard from someone , I randomly thought the word combination "Phone Boner."
I'M AN IMMATURE IDIOT.

 

[Uberpig]

Terrorists have planted bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti.
If they go off, it could spell disaster.

 

[MrGameluvr92]

When I was trying to think of one I heard from someone , I randomly thought the word combination "Phone Boner."
I'M AN IMMATURE IDIOT.

Am I immature for laughing so hard at this?

 

[kalt_13]

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

the only joke here that made me laugh

 

[MrGameluvr92]

Okay, here's another one:

Why was the tomato red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

 

[michael87cn]

I'm confident that everyone had this one played on them at some point in elementary school:

Spell ICUP...............

 

[Corpse XxX]

I must have a bad sense of humor, cause i found many of these jokes hilarious

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

You had to know it was coming...

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine!

Why was six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.

~seen on sickipedia

 

[JBGigas]

Two tomatoes were crossing a road, the other was suddenly run over by a car, in which the other replied; "Come on ketchup!" Har har har.

 

[MrGameluvr92]

Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.