Really Lame Jokes
- Thread starter captainwillies
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I don't really have any lame jokes (all of mine are either good, or racist).... I just heard one recently.... Oh ya...
That made me groan when I heard it.
Because he saw his phone bill.
That made me groan when I heard it.
I went for a walk when it started raining cats and dogs...I stepped in a poodle!!!captainwillies said:
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out the burning ducks.
To stomp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out the burning ducks.
I think Milton may be an excellent addition to the show, as his light and silly approach makes for a good balance against all the pedo, dead celebrity and international disasters material.robotam said:
If you like Milton Jones, I think Stewart Francis (Mock the Week again) and Tim Vine may also appeal.
Tim Vine is Jeremy vine's brother, but couldn't be much more different, Jeremy being a political and news journalist, and Tim just being stupid on stage for laughs.
He recently won 'Best joke of the Edinburgh Fringe', and as I've failed to add any jokes, I'll copy/paste the top ten below.
1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub?"
2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub?"
