Before I got my Neo back in 2010, post counts used to be something that mattered to me. Sitting at 40K posts now (due to an addiction to Forum Games I am not ashamed of) I find it hard to remember those times. What I can remember vividly though was that Marter quickly became my favorite poster on the Escapist when we used to write and comment in each others threads. One time I remember even setting a trap for him as he had a reputation to be the first poster in almost every off topic thread.
Well, he went to User Reviews and I wandered into Forum Games (where I remain). Fact remains that I enjoy talking to him a lot as well as a lot of other people on this site. This has been my first forum and I really don't want to go anywhere else. The content is great, the forums can produce priceless memories and one can feel happy just spending an afternoon lurking here. So yeah, that's the main reason I've gotten up to 40K posts here. I wouldn't spend so much time here if it wasn't worth it.
So I've done a few things in between 30K and 40K posts that I'm proud of. I've had the great pleasure of becoming the owner of the Miracle of Sound Fan Club group here on the Escapist. Listening to Gavin do his thing and hosting a Q&A session in the group has been a lot of fun! I need to do another MiracleofSound Q&A session sometime soon. I also made the Escapist Community Signatures background since last October. It took some work and I am sorry to those who didn't make it onto it but I'm a little proud of seeing it everytime I log in. Lastly I've been trying my hand at RP on the forums.
My posting addiction certainly didn't die out when I hit pause to get this thread put together. Yes, some of you know of the pseudonym [user]=y[/user] I've been using. I'll be shutting down that account shortly after posting this by an agreement I have with a friend on the site.
It feels weird talking about myself like this and I certainly didn't want this thread to be about me. This thread is for you Marter, for the laughs and good times we've had together and that we'll continue to have. Hopefully you don't remember that you asked me to roast you back in August of 2010 cause I kept this in the back of my mind. Hope its a total surprise for you now!
Here's to another 10k of happiness pal. You're worth the two months of waiting for PMs so that this thread could happen.
Well, he went to User Reviews and I wandered into Forum Games (where I remain). Fact remains that I enjoy talking to him a lot as well as a lot of other people on this site. This has been my first forum and I really don't want to go anywhere else. The content is great, the forums can produce priceless memories and one can feel happy just spending an afternoon lurking here. So yeah, that's the main reason I've gotten up to 40K posts here. I wouldn't spend so much time here if it wasn't worth it.
So I've done a few things in between 30K and 40K posts that I'm proud of. I've had the great pleasure of becoming the owner of the Miracle of Sound Fan Club group here on the Escapist. Listening to Gavin do his thing and hosting a Q&A session in the group has been a lot of fun! I need to do another MiracleofSound Q&A session sometime soon. I also made the Escapist Community Signatures background since last October. It took some work and I am sorry to those who didn't make it onto it but I'm a little proud of seeing it everytime I log in. Lastly I've been trying my hand at RP on the forums.
My posting addiction certainly didn't die out when I hit pause to get this thread put together. Yes, some of you know of the pseudonym [user]=y[/user] I've been using. I'll be shutting down that account shortly after posting this by an agreement I have with a friend on the site.
It feels weird talking about myself like this and I certainly didn't want this thread to be about me. This thread is for you Marter, for the laughs and good times we've had together and that we'll continue to have. Hopefully you don't remember that you asked me to roast you back in August of 2010 cause I kept this in the back of my mind. Hope its a total surprise for you now!
Here's to another 10k of happiness pal. You're worth the two months of waiting for PMs so that this thread could happen.
For those of you wanting to start your own roasts, this is the official group. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Escapist-Friar-s-Club]
Support the group and help the community break down some egos!
As this is a roast, feel free to post what you think about Marter! Remember though, this is all in good fun.
Now, without further ado...
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Gentleman and ladies... No wait, that's wrong. Posters of the Escapist!
...no
PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET
All Caps, bad... Hmmm...
You! Yes you! Welcome to the Roast of Marter! He's that moderating, movie reviewing, hotshot Calgarian who has been strutting his stuff around here for far too long! This intervention has been overdue like his DVD rentals! I'm going to be your host for the few minutes we have.
This Marter fellow has inspired some fear into his friends since he became moderator. Many of you refused to come out and speak against him. Fear not! For not only am I here to lead you through the dubious past of this prolific connoisseur of all things film but there are 5 others! Yes, moderators beware as even those among you have friends! Friends who remember things! Yes, be careful and take Marter as an example because friends might actually comment on your user reviews!
[sub][sub]They may even disagree with your choice in movies![/sub][/sub]
Now welcome the first brave soul to speak against this monstrosity of a poster, [user]Julianking93[/user]!
He's Canadian.
That's it. That's the punchline to the joke that is Marter. I need not say another word.
You know what Canada gave us? Bryan Adams, Justin Bieber and AIDS. Probably anyway, given their track record.
Regardless, the only thing passable as human to be spawned from the decrepit, dingy womb of Canada is Marter and what the hell can I say about him?
He's fucking weird, for one. 18 year old male who loves Demi Lovatto, Camp Rock and shitty movies.
I don't really remember how exactly we first met. Possibly through nice enough circumstances here on the forums, film discussion or whathaveyou that would be expected or perhaps when bizarre tastes clashed in a weird acid trip only perceivable in the worst of LSD induced nightmares. The kind where Mickey Mouse's face melts into a distorted serial killer looking suspiciously like Marter, wanting to eat my face while Miley Cyrus blares in the background. I'm going to assume the latter.
All I know for sure is that whenever I hear someone like Taylor Swift whine her way through a bland "country" song, I remember how hilarious it is that Marter actually likes her music. And despite this, I have nothing but a begrudging love for a friend. Loatheful respect and care for someone who sits with a straight face and a terrible English accent that The Scorpion King 3 is a genuinely good film.
But I can't keep stay that way for long when we seldom agree on something and I just wanna hug ya. Shame I get the urge to murder you when you say Jennifer Lawrence is a good actress. :3
That's it. That's the punchline to the joke that is Marter. I need not say another word.
You know what Canada gave us? Bryan Adams, Justin Bieber and AIDS. Probably anyway, given their track record.
Regardless, the only thing passable as human to be spawned from the decrepit, dingy womb of Canada is Marter and what the hell can I say about him?
He's fucking weird, for one. 18 year old male who loves Demi Lovatto, Camp Rock and shitty movies.
I don't really remember how exactly we first met. Possibly through nice enough circumstances here on the forums, film discussion or whathaveyou that would be expected or perhaps when bizarre tastes clashed in a weird acid trip only perceivable in the worst of LSD induced nightmares. The kind where Mickey Mouse's face melts into a distorted serial killer looking suspiciously like Marter, wanting to eat my face while Miley Cyrus blares in the background. I'm going to assume the latter.
All I know for sure is that whenever I hear someone like Taylor Swift whine her way through a bland "country" song, I remember how hilarious it is that Marter actually likes her music. And despite this, I have nothing but a begrudging love for a friend. Loatheful respect and care for someone who sits with a straight face and a terrible English accent that The Scorpion King 3 is a genuinely good film.
But I can't keep stay that way for long when we seldom agree on something and I just wanna hug ya. Shame I get the urge to murder you when you say Jennifer Lawrence is a good actress. :3
Er, yes. He is Canadian. As am I. But let's get more specific about where he is a Canadian. He lives in Calgary.
[sub]This is Calgary.[/sub]
Who the hell wants to hug someone who lives in Calgary? Calgary is the city with the Calgary Flames, worst hockey team since the Toronto Leafs and who wants to go see a boring stampede anyway. Calgary is that one city in Alberta that doesn't have the awesome mall. Even the Arrogant Worms think Calgary sucks!
...
Who are the Arrogant Worms?
Well... They...
Hey, isn't it time for a musical interlude?
[sub]See, I knew they didn't like Calgary.[/sub]
Lets get back to the topic on hand, that weird guy someone gave permission to watch over us. Trusting Marter with mod powers is like giving a hockey stick to a Calgarian...
*TWACK!*
[sub]Who threw a rotten tomato?[/sub]
Alright, enough with Calgary. One thing about Marter you need to understand is that while he watches a lot of movies, he probably doesn't know how to watch them without talking! I mean look at his user reviews! Who watches movies to learn or care about the characters! It's all about explosions and breasts. Ask anyone but Marter. He'll spend 30 minutes talking about things like story or cinematography.
What's that? Another guest speaker? I found this guy lying in the ditch but hopefully he'll still be awake enough to tell you about Marter. Let's bring [user]Sassafrass[/user] to the stand!
Ah yes, Marter. The second best Canadian reviewer in the User Review section. The man who probably has a robot who writes all of his reviews for him, as this is the only way he can put out one review a day. It would also explain how mediocre they are as well, I guess. He is also the man who got me addicted to The Scorpion King 3, and as such ruined my life. I simply cannot go a single day without watching a clip. It's and addiction he started and for that, my revenge will be swift and sloppy. Just like his reviews.
That's the sound of a broken man speaking if I ever heard one. Look out, you may have Marter trying to destroy your life with a movie!
[sub]You there, restrain Sassafrass. He's trying to get at Marter.[/sub]
Marter may have plenty of words for movies, none of which anyone read but don't let that make you think he's insightful. See he has caught the twitter bug and now whenever someone tries to PM him they'll get 140 characters or less back. He's unclean, trying to get me to join twitter. What makes you think I want to talk to you on Twitter bub? Do you think I'm a friend or something?
Marter is all talk and no walk. He refuses to walk over to my place. It's only a measly 600 or so kilometers! He's just terrified that after all our conversations about playing video games that I'll whoop his ass at Super Smash Bros.
[sub]Anytime mate. Anytime.[/sub]
The only thing I have in common with Marter is a lack of money, something you should all be thankful for. Imagine if you will if he was allowed to come to Durham for the Escapist Expo!
*shudder*
Still, we have more souls to bring up to
Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk about a man named Marter. Those of you who know him know he knows movies. Those of you who don't should know, he watches a /lot/ of movies. He once told me of a trilogy with a third installment so good, that seeing it would be a life changing event. No, not The Lord of the Rings, and no, not Star Wars. I speak of The Scorpion King 3, the greatest unexpected classic of our times. Scorpibros for life, yo!
So you see, another soul lost to The Scorpion King 3, a movie I've been avoiding expressly because Marter insists I see it. Who can trust the guy? He'd never help you out in a jam and he's suspended me from the Escapist numerous times. Being this guy's friend is a hazardous occupation but someone has to do it.
...I'm not but somebody should so we can keep him pacified and make him forget about that banhammer he has under his pillow.
[sub]Where'd Sassafrass go? Find him before something bad happens![/sub]
Marter has changed in the few years I've known him. Naturally he only got worse as time went on. I stopped seeing him in Off Topic when he ran to User Reviews and he no longer sports a Pokemon avatar! Where's the Pinsir we all used to know and hate? Now his avatars are constantly gifs. Everyone knows gif avatars belong to attention whores and people with too much time on their hands.
[sub]I mean look at this, this is anno- That's my avatar isn't it...[/sub]
Now for our next speaker, someone who has a long history with...
[sub]What do you mean he banned him? Well what about... Him too? But... But the crowd needs another speaker![/sub]
Hrrm, yup... well...
IN CONCLUSION
If you know Marter, make sure you're on his good side... the side that is a whole world away!
And if you don't know Marter... Just know he's from Calgary and Calgary sucks. I'm out!
[sub][sub][sub][sub][sub]I'm not hosting another roast... x.x[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]
