Relationships... online?

[Azure Sky]

"Great Personality" is always attractive, But only having a "Great personality" and having a face like a badger thats been hit by a cricket bat?

Some people cling to the hope that a "Good personality" is all that is needed to find their dream person. There is a name for these people: Ugly people.

And thus, The internet, Where your face can be disguised, And you only have an online conversation, where you sit and reflect before you post, giving people the illusion you're quick witted, is a breeding ground for people too socially inept to find any partner in real life.

Again, semi old fashioned and semi-moot with the existence and common usage of webcams and mics (Perfect example, MSN supports both, go figure)

Even for an online relationship, it is quite possible to do so with minimal typing involved.

It is also a lot harder to 'fake it' when not only are you talking, but also looking them in the face.

It is tend[/I] to go for these kind of relationships are geeks, People who are shy, Socially inept, and/or Naive/desperate. Why do you think they're targets for nigerian tricksters (there was a news article about it on the BBC recently...It may have been on crimewatch).

If the two people meet in Real life, and then a relationship forms from there, then it's not an "Online Relationship", its a Relationship that has started online, But at least there is a physical connection there.

You are going to get people like that both online and off, from both sides.
Also, from what I hear it's not just those types of people that look online.

Not to mention, just like IRL, things may happen even when you don't go out of your way to look. (Using myself as an example here)

As for the posing as other people gig.
Posing as the opposite sex (for whatever reason) rarely works on anyone outside of forums or 4chan thanks to modern tech.
Scam artists? See above.
As for those that just pose as their 'ideal self', the one that will (usually) take the lions share of heartache/pain/etc is them self. and even then this can happen offline quite frequently.

As I said before, most of the deception and misunderstanding comes from the anonymity, which is easy to circumvent, especially with the fact that most people being serious will (probably) want to mic/cam for the convenience of not having to type a 50 page essay, day after day.

 

[VanityGirl]

I met my boyfriend of two years on Gears of War.
He was in Alabama and I was in Georgia at the time. After we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, we met up at 6 Sixs Over Georgia.

We are currently living together and are very happy.


Weird huh? I never expected to meet someone online, but me and my boyfriend just hit it off and I fell for him.

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

I remeber back a while ago where someone on here "gave his life" to this girl he knew online.
the general consensus of the thread was that while online, you have the ability to be whoever you want to be, and that he was getting hustled.

but you cant help the way you feel.
thebest ive done was "gotten close" to someone online.
Im willing to help you ith problems and be your anonymous freind, but other than that I will not pursue a relationship with someone I dont know.
although the irony is, people on the internet probably know more about me then most people in real life(Im alot more open on the escapist because I dont have the fear of people rejecting me)

EDIT:
I think it would be funny to mention that while on monster hunter, one of my online friends calls me her "whipped virtual husband" because she forces me to help her do quests, alot.

 

[child of lileth]

Yeah, I've had 2 relationships like that. One was long distance, one was in person. One went great, one turned out to be the worst experience of my life (the in person one for this part). It can work out with meeting people online, but you have the same risks you have with meeting someone for the first time in person. I don't really see any difference at all unless it's a long distance relationship.

 

[Hurray Forums]

I've been in an online relationship before, wasn't really looking for one, kind of just happened so I rolled with it, never went anywhere super serious. I probably wouldn't recommend it for most people, and it does take some getting used to but I think it's a perfectly viable way of starting a relationship. I don't really understand the stigma against it though, it's a lot better than some of the ways people use to find a date IRL. Not to mention the fact that you both meet online generally means you should have some interests in common which always helps kick a relationship off.

 

[Insanum]

You are going to get people like that both online and off, from both sides.
Also, from what I hear it's not just those types of people that look online.

That is ture, But there is a much greater risk online than face to face.

Not to mention, just like IRL, things may happen even when you don't go out of your way to look. (Using myself as an example here)

As for the posing as other people gig.
Posing as the opposite sex (for whatever reason) rarely works on anyone outside of forums or 4chan thanks to modern tech.

I didnt specify the other sex, I mean posing as someone else. Someone better looking, someone from a different background, Someone not you[/I].

Scam artists? See above.
As for those that just pose as their 'ideal self', the one that will (usually) take the lions share of heartache/pain/etc is them self. and even then this can happen offline quite frequently.

Maybe so, But then again its much more difficult to do it IRL, As you dont have the anonymity of the internet to fall back behind if you get found out.

As I said before, most of the deception and misunderstanding comes from the anonymity, which is easy to circumvent, especially with the fact that most people being serious will (probably) want to mic/cam for the convenience of not having to type a 50 page essay, day after day.

True, But webcam isnt any substitue for genuine "in the same place" interaction. Little things, body language, Etc, Is Nigh on impossible to gauge online, Unless extra ephasis is put it.

Once again, it illusion[/I] of intimicy.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

How is this even possible if there isn't no remote contact ?

 

[CrashBang]

When I was 15 I met a girl from Bristol on msn, met her and we went out for 6 months. It actually worked really well but I decided to end it when I went off to sixth form
Then when I was 17 I went out with another girl I had met online through a friend of mine. She lived near London which made it tough, but we again went out for 6 months and she was the first girl I fell in love with
But after her I never did and never would do it again, it just doesn't last, and I don't reccomend it

Although a mate of mine met a girl from Switzerland on WoW and moved there to meet and marry her and they're still together after 2 years, living in Switzerland together. I think that's really sweet and a massive but worthwhile risk

 

[The_Echo]

I've had a couple.

Personally, I don't count them as real relationships and would like to forget they happened.

 

[Penguinness]

Hmm technically my current and previous relationships were online. The first one being a girl that was in the year below me at school, she added me on msn (can't remember how she got it... kinda stalkerish) and we were talking and then we met up at school. The current one was from another school in the city, but friends with my friend. She added me on myspace and msn and eventually we decided to go on a date.

I did have a few "relationships" online which I kinda just rolled with when I was young. They were pretty stupid to be fair, but one of them was more like a close friendship which was pretty good, we'd talk everyday and about anything, but never any plans to take it further in anyway. I share the opinion of the poster above with these ones.

I've been playing DOMO for a few days and I notice a few people who've invited me to parties and stuff being in online relationships, makes me feel old.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

The original post isn't very specific.

Exclusively online relationships? Personally, I think they're bunk. They can generate similar feelings, but it's definitely not the same. Anyone who has been in a real life relationship can verify the difference.

An online relationship that results in a real-life connection? Legit - the moment the two people involved actually meet and begin spending real time with each other. A lot of relationships start online these days, but they can't stay there.

A relationship that began in real life but migrated online due to distance? Tricky and usually a bad idea. There's a reason why a lot of sensible people agree to a mutual breakup when one or the other moves far away. With enough dedication and genuine affection, it can work. Still, a lot of people aren't built for it.

My only experience with an online-only relationship was one of the worst experiences in my life.

 

[Azure Sky]

Too big, Snip =(

Well, in the interest of not debating this for hours to come, I think we are both right in that it can, and quite often does swing both ways.

But for the sake of example, there have been several friends I have known over my trek through the interwebs that have, after being in a relationship for some time (I think the longest was.. 3-4 years?) moved interstate to be with their significant other. (Note, most of those examples are American friends.)

As for my experience. Australia - Vic and America - Cali was too big of a distance, and between studies and the time difference we mutually decided that it was best to part ways and remain friends as it was putting too much pressure on various factors. If the distance wasn't so mammoth it probably would have lasted much longer and/or we may have met up.

One last thing to add to the posing thing though.
While people can and do use the anonymity to their advantage on occasion, I was taught by someone several years ago to have a little bit of faith in other people, even though I am quite cynical by nature.

 

[Azure Sky]

I've had a couple.

Personally, I don't count them as real relationships and would like to forget they happened.

Shame they made you feel that way, mine was quite the opposite.

Also, Epic Avatar!
Huzzah! =3

 

[armaina]

I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend when I was 14, we talked a lot and I started to fall for him over time. When I was about 19, we started a relationship. I'm 25 now and we are still together and still going strong <3

Relationships with people you have met online can work out and they can be awesome as long as the people in it truly care about each other and can be patient.

 

[Insanum]

Well, in the interest of not debating this for hours to come, I think we are both right in that it can, and quite often does swing both ways.

But for the sake of example, there have been several friends I have known over my trek through the interwebs that have, after being in a relationship for some time (I think the longest was.. 3-4 years?) moved interstate to be with their significant other. (Note, most of those examples are American friends.)

As for my experience. Australia - Vic and America - Cali was too big of a distance, and between studies and the time difference we mutually decided that it was best to part ways and remain friends as it was putting too much pressure on various factors. If the distance wasn't so mammoth it probably would have lasted much longer and/or we may have met up.

One last thing to add to the posing thing though.
While people can and do use the anonymity to their advantage on occasion, I was taught by someone several years ago to have a little bit of faith in other people, even though I am quite cynical by nature.

I guess so. I stand by My original post though. I guess to expand it too its maximum, My opinion is (and will always be):

"If there is no Physical contact between the two parties, it isnt a "Relationship", It's a friendship with the illusion of intimacy"[/I]

 

[superbatranger]

Met him in person first, developed the relationship online, married him. So, it went pretty well, I think.

And everyone lived happily ever after. The End. Wasn't that a great story, boys and girls?


I never have myself. Heck, I've never been in a relationship period. But, I don't have anything against it. Although, I am kind of wary of the long distance relationship. I've seen how it can go wrong.

 

[Nerf Ninja]

Two words: Never again.