Remember when "bullying" entailed physical assault?

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Oh man. I remember elementary school. The class bully was the principle's son. And he didn't like me very much. But i wasn't one for getting punched without punching back. Lots of fights on my 3rd grade record, let me tell ya'.
I know its harsh and anecdotal, but I remember when being bullied implied a bloody lip, or a black eye or scrapped knuckles. Not simply hurt feelings. Getting called names by that kid was considered a good day. That was easy; just don't listen. Even if he called me a poopbutt! Just ignore him and go back to playing the Pokemon card game.
But actually getting into a fight? That was bullying! That was serious! On recess he went into my backpack, found my deck and on the playground tore my shiny Charizard in half.
Honestly, its a miracle we didn't kill each other.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I remember high school, yes. -_-

I'm fortunate that I avoided most physical abuse, since my bullies knew they could potentially get in trouble if they left any marks. Still, they found every excuse they could to hit me (there's a reason they turned all touch-football into tackle-football whenever the teacher looked away), and found other ways to humiliate, degrade, and mock me.

I'm still messed up in some parts of my psyche today.

I hate bullies with a burning passion. Bullies of all kinds. That's why I don't tolerate bullies in games I play.

But you know what I hate more? Bullying APOLOGISTS. People who say that bullying isn't a big deal, that it "builds character", that trying to prevent bullying creates a society of victims, or other social darwinist crap. Those people I hate with the fire of a thousand suns. They make my blood boil. And there's always at least one that crops up in any bullying discussion.

*deep breath* I need to head this off before I build up steam and go off on a rant.

 

[FPLOON]

I still remember the times I was bullied (both physically and verbally) as well as being the bully (mainly physical, because I was never good at the verbal aspects of bullying), so I can't say it has always been about the physical more than anything else... I mean, I can only count about 4 times I've actually been in a fight (that wasn't just me getting my ass kicked or me literally kicking someone in the ass) because of bullying, in particular, and I seem to remember those moments a lot more than the verbal bullying moments, since at the time, I was already making myself the class clown in both elementary and parts of middle school... You start making fun of me or start calling me names, I'll just joke it off like "it ain't no thang" until someone throws the first punch (or kick) and the rest usually follows with me getting in trouble and the "bully" (if there was one [that wasn't me, in particular]) getting off scot-free for the day... unless I got involve in a bully-vs-victim scenario with me "trying" to stop it from escalating, then I get thrown under the bus by both parties when the teacher(s) asked what happened...

Anyway, bullying is either physical and/or verbal... Physical assault doesn't happen all the time, in terms of the standard bullying, but it could lead to it given the situation... unless they're like me back then and just skipped to the physical harm... (Man, I was sometimes an asshole back in the day...)

 

[timeformime]

I don't think bullying is totally normal and OK, or just something kids do. It's a symptom of a serious problem. Some of it's really dumb, laughable stuff, and some of it is seriously harmful. How much damage it does depends on the situation.

But it's never going to stop happening, sort of like there will always be third world countries, war, and crime. Trying to "stop bullying" is just something teachers have to do day to day like they always have. The fact that bullying means physical assault less and less probably is because more and more of our lives are online. It seems like a natural progression that bullying would go from nasty words in person to nasty words posted on someone's Facebook or whatever, but the words themselves probably haven't changed that much.

 

[game-lover]

I'll say yes to both.

Growing up with the Simpsons and similar shows, I was aware even then. The getting shoved in lockers, trash cans, wedgies, swirlies... But in a sense, I think it's like the way people look at assault in general. It's something that happens to other people.

At least when I was in elementary school. I don't remember everything clear but the gist stays with me. I figure they could have been possible bullying attempts that didn't go well or last long because of my reaction.

There was a girl who knocked some books out of my hands when I was reading. I yelled that my mother claimed books were important and launched myself at her. I have long nails. Did then too and slashed her up some. There was another girl who yanked my glasses off and stomped them. I did cry a little and when she found me later, she apparently felt bad and apologized and we got friendly. And a boy who messed with me for a while and we scuffled some. I was a bit taller so I remember pinning him against a wall as he threw those fake wood chips at me from our playground. I felt guilty and actually went to apologize the next day and he was still as hostile as ever so we just avoided each other.

Middle school was just two incidents. First was a girl in dance class who kept pulling my hair. Just pulling my hair all the damn time for no apparent reason. One day, I finally opted to attack. It didn't go well for me as it was embarrassingly quick. I'm a much better fighter now than I was then. But she never messed with me again. Not sure if she got kicked out or something. And then there were two boys hassling me. The most physical thing I recall is them breaking a bunch of styrofoam blocks over my head so it got in my hair. But that was only that one day at lunch. Never happened again.

I found out a year later that I was targeted in my 6th grade year by a bunch of girls who saw me being by myself a lot and thought I was weird. Spreading a rumor or two. Planning to basically jump me/beat me up altogether. But I had cousins at the school at the same time so they pretty much ran interference and watched my back while I was pretty much oblivious the entire time.

High school... high school was pretty much uneventful. The most interesting thing that happened was I accidentally hit this guy in the eye and in retaliation, he tore up some game cards that someone had given me in spite of the fact that I apologized. Then he apologized later but I didn't speak to him for a while. Nothing else really comes to mind.

 

[SmallHatLogan]

Just for some context that may or may not be relevant, I'm 27 and throughout my life went to five different schools in small towns in Australia and New Zealand. I honestly can't recall ever witnessing or even hearing about physical bullying at any of my schools apart from the occasional shoving in the hallways. Most bullying just consisted of people being exclusionary arseholes. The "nerdy" kids were generally left to their own devices for the most part. Sure there were fights (although even they were rare) but it was usually something stemming from an argument as opposed to being a bully and their victim.

 

[Louis.J]

Is this just an American/old people thing?

Growing up, I was handed more than than my fair share of verbal (and a little sexual) abuse, but neither I, nor anyone I knew of, was never physically abused, ever.

I'm 21.

It's also a Danish thing, children beating each other at school. I'm 28.

 

[CymbaIine]

i mentioned indirect and relational aggression (aka social ostracization) because it has never been societally recognised or frowned upon and is in fact the primary means of practising aggression for at least half of Humanity (ie women) and it is effectively honed during peoples school years.

as it has pretty much never been societally recognised or frowned upon imo it is now, today, the dominate form of aggression in "polite" society.

When I was at school I witnessed the most horrendous bullying of a class mate in this manor. They drove her out of school, she came back for exams and literally walked out of the first one because the bullies were doing this cough/laugh thing at her. I never saw her again. To this day I feel horribly guilty for not doing anything (it wasn't my crowd but still).

I often wonder if the internet has made it better or worse. Sure it's opened new avenues for bullies but it also means there is proof and adults have a chance of discovering it. I think if the internet and mobile phones were a thing when I was at school that whole scenario would have gotten a lot worse a lot faster but there would have been intervention before exam time.

I think it is socially recognised more now. A few years ago a childline survey said that the most harmful form of bullying was non-physical and coming from typically middle class girls and that it was going unnoticed because people thought of bullying as physical and the bullies as working class boys.

 

[EvanJO]

.

 

[PinkiePyro]

first off the title of this thread pisses me off second No

I was horribly bullied from elementary school till I graduated high school. only three times was the bullying physical,


the first time the bullies got off Scott free despite trying to to tie me to a goal post for being a stupid retard teachers pet (I actually have autism and was in the gifted program) because the drunkard principal thought bullying was just something kids do.( my mom made a huge stink at him and the school board, short version he retired and the school board ended up paying for me to go to a special school)


the second time (in the special school) the bully was sent to jail after he punched me in the back (don't know for sure why he hated my guts I think it was a combo of me being smarter and a girl, he seemed a bit misogynistic at times, acting up and threatening the female teachers, acting respectful towards the few male ones)

the third time (was a Private high school for gifted kids only) the kid beat me with a plastic ficus tree. he was kicked out of the school.


and to anyone on this thread who thinks bullying only matters if its physical.. tell that to my therapist, I am in my mid 20's and still in therapy for anxiety and self-esteem issues from all the abuse. at one time it was so bad I could not leave my home without a family member or friend accompanying me...

 

[Brennan]

I wasn't physically bullied much, but that's only because I was good at evasion. Physical bullying definitely happened to people when I was in middle school (first half of the 90s). It was definitely something I worried a lot about, which is kinda why I was good at evasion.

At the time, verbal/psychological bullying wasn't something the school system even recognized as a thing that existed, much less could or would do anything about. In regards to physical bullying the school authorities were far worse than useless: reporting physical bullying resulted in a ton of administrative political BS that at best would have zero result, and at worst would see you, the victim, slowly dragged through the mud both socially and officially while the bully walked around unimpeded. Fighting back was heavily frowned apon, and could result in you getting far greater punishment then the bully. Most teacher/counselors, if pressed, would give the old "ignore them and they'll go away" line, which has always been dangerous BS and every kid knows it: ignoring bullies invites them to escalate their attacks.

I did get verbally bullied. Not as severely as some others here, but that was circumstantial: the same social issues that made me an inviting target also made me a difficult target to keep a bead on. Still hurt, and definitely messed me up even further than I already was.

I can't look at bullying of any sort as a "right of passage" or a "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. That's primitivistic nonsense on the level of superstition. Being bullied messes you up psychologically and socially. It damages your ability to function optimally in society. Bullying victims who go on to lead better lives do so because they repaired that damage, not because they sustained it.

 

[FlatCat]

So, Escapists- are you old enough or from a bad enough community to remember when this sort of thing was commonplace? And if not, do you understand that it really did happen? Like, a lot?

Yup. I remember being attacked and fighting back. I remember being both the target and the aggressor. And we used more than words. We kicked the shit out of each other.

And I'm only 35.