Respecting a parent's wishes, or; "Don't X in front of my child"

[AdeptaSororitas]

Hello my fellow Escapees, I'm here to ask a rather simple question of you, but one that's extremely close to home currently.

Should you, and do you, respect other's wishes of what they want their children exposed to? Be it television, sugary food, swearing, violence, video games or the internet?

I say it's close to home currently because I realized just how much my grandmother let me do that my parent's didn't want her too. And just how frustrated I'd be if my parents did that to my children (if I have any). My parents didn't want me to have soda or watch too much television, where as my grandmother pretty much raised me on Pepsi and Little Bear. It stuck out in my mind because when I was a kid I would bug the HELL out of my folks for Pepsi and tv, neither of which my parent's could afford with any ease.

TL;DR: If you were caring for a person's child, would you go against their wishes if they didn't want their kids exposed to something? How would you feel if someone did that to you?

 

[No_Remainders]

Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you.

While I don't always follow this, this is a case in which I would, because if (and I really hope this doesn't ever happen) I end up with children, I wouldn't want anyone to go against my wishes, just as I wouldn't go against theirs.

 

[BreakfastMan]

Um... Yeah, I would respect their wishes. Why shouldn't I? If someone did not respect my wishes when taking care of my child, I would be very pissed. There really isn't much more that needs to be said...

 

[dancinginfernal]

Depends on whether or not their wishes were stupid. Of course not, it's their child and I'm not not going to filter what I think they should have just because I think I'm right.

 

[Bobic]

While the decent person in me says that you should respect a parent's wishes and treat them as they see fit, the idiot that is me feeds my dog all kinds of weird and wonderful food whenever my parents are out of the house so it's pretty safe to say I'd give in to any of the child's demands that didn't annoy me to much.

Sorry.

 

[lacktheknack]

It's their kid, not mine. If I want to raise a child a specific way, I'll raise my own children.

 

[Sethzard]

It depends, if, for example in the case of my uncle he completely ignored another my parents' wishes then shouted at the child who he taught for trying to teach his child something far more tame than anything he taught me then no, you shouldn't. ~The Rest of the time you should for the most part.

 

[retyopy]

Depends on whether or not their wishes were stupid.

This, except without the strike. If its something like "don't let my kids have any fun" without context, then... no. If its something like, "don't let my kids watch tv, we can't afford it and we don't want them to get hooked," then yeah, I'd listen.

 

[Richardplex]

I'm not going to change what I do because of an arbitrary reason a parent gave. Any reasonable objection I wouldn't do in public anyway.

As a parent I'd hope those I left intrusted with my daughter do their best to abide by my wishes.

At the same time...one of the rules of being a grandparent is you spoil your grandkids and let them do stuff you never would have let your own kid do. So yes, my daughter had her first chips at 2 years old when my father was babysitting. Yes, he often lets her skip her nap (which we pay for when we come home later). Yes he probably would give her anything she asked for. But that's ok with me...its his job.

I remember my grandfather giving me my first hard liquor at 8-10 years old. There was no bedtime at my grandmother's house. My other grandfather, who wouldn't even let ANYONE his in "his chair" and was apparently the toughest and coldest father in existance, let me sit in his chair and bought me Canada and gave me piggy back rides and lots of kisses.

You are the sole owner of Canada? That's one generous grandfather.

 

[ipitydaf00l]

I tend to respect the parent's wishes when caring for their child. (And trust me, I've had some rather bizarre demands! Even ones that didn't make sense.)

However, on another note of your original post... I tend to think Grandparents tend to do the things they wouldn't do with their own children. I remember my parents having rather strict rules of what I could and couldn't do. Yet, when my child goes and spends time with them, I have to 'retrain' her on the rules of the house. (Yes, you have to clean up after yourself. No, I don't keep soda at the house because you would try to drink it non-stop.) Which is funny because I couldn't so much as leave one small item out as a child without getting punished and my mother will happily clean after any mess my child makes!

It seems silly, but I think they tend to go with that 'grandparent' status and think that means now the time is to have all the 'fun' because when the child acts up...well, the can just go back to their parent's house!

 

[RobCoxxy]

No children in front of my X >

 

[Rawne1980]

I have children of my own and I have family I won't let near my kids. A junkie cousin and an alcoholic uncle.

Not because of what they do, we drink and our kids aren't stupid they know about drugs and alcohol. But they are a mess, not fit to be around people so I keep my kids away from them.

I don't want my kids living on junk food, going near alcohol or tobacco (except my 18 year old step daughter, she is the legal age to drink so I won't stop her). And if anyone offers them drugs or I find out they have been "experimenting" then i'll find the twat who gave it to them and see how well I can riverdance on their face.

 

[targren]

For the most part, why not, with one caveat. If it's really an imposition ("Don't smoke in the house/car with my kid" is okay. "Don't smoke where my kid will see you through the window/have meat for dinner/etc.." is unreasonable, e.g.), then I'll comply once, and after that, they can find someone else to watch the kid from now on.

And whether it's unreasonable or not is subjective and my call, since I'm the one doing them a favor, after all.

 

[JochemDude]

When we're talking about potentially addictive stuff then I'll respect that. I'll go smoke my joint somewhere else, however if I'm having just a beer then I might not be so agreeable.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Depends on the rule. Most things, yeah. But there are some things that just don't work.

I babysat for several of the couples in my church when I was a teenager, and one of them was of the persuasion that all medicine is bad and flakey science...You know what I speak of.

If something had happened to one of their children that resulted in a need of medical attention, I'd not have respected their wishes. Not getting charged for negligence for someone elses' beliefs.

 

[Mandalore the Gear]

This one is easy for me. If they don't comply then they simply don't get to see or visit their grandchild anymore. Harsh, but if they want that relationship, they'll comply. And my grandparents NEVER disrepected my parents like that, so my wife and I should recieve the same.

 

[No_Remainders]

You are the sole owner of Canada? That's one generous grandfather.

This reply... It's just the best thing ever.

Thank you, so very much.

 

[Tommeh Brownleh]

Depends. I will consume whatever I please around your children, despite the fact that you don't want them exposed to it. I will however respect that you don't want them watching me play Saints Row 2 or whatever while I'm around them. Other than that its a craps shoot for you.