Respecting a parent's wishes, or; "Don't X in front of my child"

[spartan231490]

I say a little. If I didn't want my kids to have soda, for example, I wouldn't mind if my parents let them have a pepsi or two when they visited grandma and grandpa. However, I certainly wouldn't be very happy if my parents threw a 12 pack of mountain dew at them and let them loose. All things in moderation, that's my motto.

 

[Draconalis]

Any time I get this, it's because I'm cussing in public.

It really depends on how I was asked. If they politely ask me to refrain, I generally do. Otherwise? Fuck em. They can lock their kids in a closet if they don't want them exposed to the real world.

 

[trollnystan]

Well, I have friend that asked me to not blasphemy in front of her or her children and so I do my very best not to. (It's gorram hard!) So yes, I try to respect the parents' wishes when they've made a point to tell me what they are. And I'd be pissed if someone didn't respect the rules I'd laid down.

 

[WaysideMaze]

Hello my fellow Escapees, I'm here to ask a rather simple question of you, but one that's extremely close to home currently.

Should you, and do you, respect other's wishes of what they want their children exposed to? Be it television, sugary food, swearing, violence, video games or the internet?

I say it's close to home currently because I realized just how much my grandmother let me do that my parent's didn't want her too. And just how frustrated I'd be if my parents did that to my children (if I have any). My parents didn't want me to have soda or watch too much television, where as my grandmother pretty much raised me on Pepsi and Little Bear. It stuck out in my mind because when I was a kid I would bug the HELL out of my folks for Pepsi and tv, neither of which my parent's could afford with any ease.

TL;DR: If you were caring for a person's child, would you go against their wishes if they didn't want their kids exposed to something? How would you feel if someone did that to you?

To be honest, it just sounds like she was treating you, which is what grandmas do.


It would be a different story if she was giving you crack or something.

 

[the.gill123]

I look after my nieces a lot, since I moved closer to my sister, and I tend to do as she asks. If one of them is making a lot of noise, then sometimes I might give them some cake or cola, but since I'm not a parent, and I don't want to piss my sister off, I tend to do as I'm asked.

If I had grandkids though, I think I probably would spoil them, as mine did to me, my dad does to his, and everyones does to them.

But yes, I would be extremaly annoyed if someone did that to my kids, but if it was my parents, I would probably sometimes let it slide.

 

[The-Epicly-Named-Man]

I generally will, but I won't go out of my way for it. But if it's something like "no swearing" then I'm perfectly happy to oblige.

 

[Ramanthes]

At the bottom-line I think it's an issue of trust.If the person who you ask to take care of your children for a bit is a person you trust,they get leeway,because you know they won't do anything harmful to your children other than cater to their wishes a bit.
Giving chocolate to a toddler is O.K. Blazing a doobie,not so much.I think most parents who don't delude themselves know that whatever their wishes may be other relatives will cater to them and spoil them a bit.And they're mostly okay with it.

 

[Lerasai]

now if it's a public setting then you can go fuck yourself... example: when I got out of the service I celebrated and ended up with a full bicep tattoo of a naked woman... a few days ago I was sitting in a Wendy's eating and some lady complained and told me I NEEDED to cover it right now because she was gonna be eating at the next table with her kid (the kid was like 2 BTW) so I laughed and told her to get the fuck lost.. in that context it's her duty to control where and what her kid sees and I will not compromise my right to do what I want because of her ideals

That is so ridiculous. I mean, a two-year-old isn't about to be mentally scarred from seeing a tattoo of a naked woman, in the very slim chance they would even notice it given the tattoo not being Elmo. Its her responsibility to watch out for her kid and not yours, you were right to tell that presumptuous lady off.

 

[the spud]

I respect a parents wishes to an extent, but when we are censoring art just because "Children might see it" then it has gone too far.

 

[Jodah]

If its a situation where I am a friend with the parent in question or something similar, absolutely. Babysitting, family, etc. I will respect their wishes. If its some random mother demanding I stop swearing while walking down the street with a friend, not a chance.

Also keep in mind one of the jobs of a grandparent is to spoil their grandchildren.

 

[JoJo]

Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you.

While I don't always follow this, this is a case in which I would, because if (and I really hope this doesn't ever happen) I end up with children, I wouldn't want anyone to go against my wishes, just as I wouldn't go against theirs.

And the first response is exactly what I would have said. With a few small exceptions, it's only fair to respect a parent's wishes for their child.

 

[Evidencebased]

now if it's a public setting then you can go fuck yourself... example: when I got out of the service I celebrated and ended up with a full bicep tattoo of a naked woman... a few days ago I was sitting in a Wendy's eating and some lady complained and told me I NEEDED to cover it right now because she was gonna be eating at the next table with her kid (the kid was like 2 BTW) so I laughed and told her to get the fuck lost.. in that context it's her duty to control where and what her kid sees and I will not compromise my right to do what I want because of her ideals

That is so ridiculous. I mean, a two-year-old isn't about to be mentally scarred from seeing a tattoo of a naked woman, in the very slim chance they would even notice it given the tattoo not being Elmo. Its her responsibility to watch out for her kid and not yours, you were right to tell that presumptuous lady off.

If a little kid sees a naked boob they'll probably just get hungry...

But yeah, I reserve the right to do my own thing when it comes to my body (eat what I like, do what I like, etc.) But if I were watching someone's kid I would try to respect their wishes about what I let the kid eat, do, etc. unless it was obviously abusive or something (which includes withholding medical care, imho.) That doesn't mean I'd start F-bombing the second I walk in the door to babysit or whatever -- I like free speech but I'm not incapable of speaking more politely! -- but it also means I wouldn't restrict myself from giving honest opinions in the kid's hearing or eating food the kid should not, and all that.

And whatever is appropriate in public is appropriate in public, children or not; if I'm in a bar and I'm flirting or swearing I don't expect some parent to wander in with a toddler and cast me indignant glares. If I start talking about work on the bus some child may hear the horrible truth about what happens to guinea pigs in a research lab, and the parent is just gonna have to deal.

EDIT: Okay, if it were a tattoo of a naked woman humping Elmo that might be legit -- maaaybe put a sweater on. ;D

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

If a parent tells me that out of the blue and im not in THEIR house, then I'd reply: "Don't expose your child to me when im doing X".

This kind of argument that some parents try to make is the very same thing that cause different interest groups to critisize videogames for being "too violent", claiming that it "corrupts childrens minds", and for some reason want the INDUSTRY to regulate itself (or the government to regulate the industry).

It's well overdue that parents get it into their fucking heads that it was THEIR choice to create their wretched offspring, hence it's THEIR responsibility to insure and regulate whatever it is their child is being exposed to or not.

So if you don't like it that your kid is hearing me using swearwords in public or weating a t-shirt with a disturbing image on it that "might give little Timmy nightmares", then get that fucking kid away from me. It is YOUR JOB as a parent to do that if you feel that me or my activities are harmful in some way to your childs development or mental state.

Fucking parents and their spawn. So many reasons to hate them...

 

[Lexodus]

(Controlling) parents are fucking awful. If we're on your time, in your house, you call the shots. Anywhere else and you can fuck right off. If it's not expressly illegal I'm not going to give a fuck what you think.

 

[Belaam]

Are they watching my kids for free? Then they can give them a coke and turn on Spongebob. If the parents actually endanger them, I will take my kids elsewhere elsewhere, or not go out as much.

It's a give and take, and mainly depends on the situation. Essentially, there's the "I don't mind if you do it at grandma's, but know you don't do that at home." on one hand and the "no, that's too much, you aren't going to visit grandma without us there."

 

[Liquid Paradox]

I'm not going to change what I do because of an arbitrary reason a parent gave.

Well no offense, but if you were my baby sitter... well, you wouldn't be for long, and the internet would soon know why.

One child I babysit doesn't eat meat, even though I know he would love to try it. His reason? because his mother is a vegetarian, and she says no meat. Now this child is perfectly healthy and all, he just really want's to try meat, and my personal dogma allows for meat consumption (incidentally, I am NOT perfectly healthy, but let's not get into semantics ), at least once per day. even still, I would never EVER dream of being the one responsible for disobeying her wishes and feeding him meat... that's just a matter of respect, pure and simple.

Plus, I I eat a lot of healthy food when I babysit him. Kind of a byproduct of trying to find food he can actually eat, rather then just giving him some lettuces or an apple every day.

On the other hand, there is the opposite problem: The parent doesn't actually tell you what their child cannot do, and then gets all in your face when you don't follow their unspoken rule. "What do you mean you let him watch Sponge Bob?" "Well, ma'am, you said 1 hour of television was okay." "I didn't mean Sponge Bob, though! I can't believe you let any children watch that garbage!" << actually happened<< ... whatever. I'm only psychic for a few days a year, after the third Full moon, and you caught me in the middle of the lunar cycle.

 

[Angry Caterpillar]

ITT: A bunch of 'edgy' assholes trying to look tough by disrespecting the simple wishes of others.

Seriously guys, you can get in your "FREEEEE SPEEEEEEEEEEECH FAFRGL" circle jerk all you want, but keep in mind that the public space is a shared space. Like the internet, you get your share of dickbags shouting obscenities. Unlike the internet, you can't mute/ignore/delete said dickbags. If someone is shouting out "SHIT FUCK COCK", then there is a person shouting "SHIT FUCK COCK" and all you can do is ask them to pipe down and hope basic human kindness will get them to stop. Try to consider that you aren't the only person in the world. Just saying.

 

[Richardplex]

I'm not going to change what I do because of an arbitrary reason a parent gave.

Well no offense, but if you were my baby sitter... well, you wouldn't be for long, and the internet would soon know why.

One child I babysit doesn't eat meat, even though I know he would love to try it. His reason? because his mother is a vegetarian, and she says no meat. Now this child is perfectly healthy and all, he just really want's to try meat, and my personal dogma allows for meat consumption (incidentally, I am NOT perfectly healthy, but let's not get into semantics ), at least once per day. even still, I would never EVER dream of being the one responsible for disobeying her wishes and feeding him meat... that's just a matter of respect, pure and simple.

Plus, I I eat a lot of healthy food when I babysit him. Kind of a byproduct of trying to find food he can actually eat, rather then just giving him some lettuces or an apple every day.

On the other hand, there is the opposite problem: The parent doesn't actually tell you what their child cannot do, and then gets all in your face when you don't follow their unspoken rule. "What do you mean you let him watch Sponge Bob?" "Well, ma'am, you said 1 hour of television was okay." "I didn't mean Sponge Bob, though! I can't believe you let any children watch that garbage!" << actually happened<< ... whatever. I'm only psychic for a few days a year, after the third Full moon, and you caught me in the middle of the lunar cycle.

I may or may not have read the TL;DR, and assumed it was about doing stuff in public, not something like babysitting. Unconfirmed rumours of course. On that, I'd respect the employers wishes in that situation. Though I'd be questioning my sanity if I did look after someone's children.