Review - Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

[Enigmatism]

I, being a apple pie-gorging, red-white-and-blue-type individual living in the best country ever (seconding is Guam, where you can be a government-funded pimp), I have the great fortune of having games released to me faster. Now then, Elder Scrolls: Oblivion is another game from the generator of the Elder Scrolls series and the first real-time Fallout, Bethesda. Like all of Bethesda's games, gives you thousands of options to choose from. As I am absolutely horrid at mico-managing stats and such, along with fully-customizable faces, I failed very badly at it. Or maybe the fact that each voice is recycled counless times through the game put too much monotony to it.

At any rate, you play as a person who, throughout the course of the game, noone asks the name of, and the people still trust you to save the world or something. You collect spells (most are unnecessary), weapons (which don't need to be bought), and do quests (low-pay, high-work jobs) for gold (which you always never have enough of). Here's what you need to know: the emperor has been killed, and you need to have a new emperor on the throne. After that, you topple a cult and have to take down a huge daedra in a suit of what I call "Armor of Assrape." That's all you need to know of the plot, since that's all that is really connected to it.

If you liked Morrowind, it's more of the same, except a different villain and time, and different circumstances. Altogether, not a really bad game, just boring.

 

[Logan Westbrook]

Altogether, not a really bad game, just boring.

Huh? Surely a boring game is not good one?

 

[Chalee]

Bad review.

 

[AzraelUK]

If anybody watches BBC3, you'll have seen the sixty-second news. It's a stinking turd -- albeit quite a small one -- in between the actual interesting content. Sixty-second reviews seem much the same.

 

[Easykill]

I disagree about Oblivion being more of the same from Morrowind, I would have liked it better if it was. The only really good thing about Oblivion was the dark brotherhood quests, they were cool. Well, graphics and the compass were nice too I guess.

 

[Enigmatism]

One, I did do this in 60 seconds. First post, tired, not really liking the subject. Two, I did not say the game was good, just boring. In my measure, boring is wanting to quit after an hour of playing, and bad is wanting to stop after a few minutes. Three, I didn't reach the end of this game, because it's boring, long, and filled to its brim with dialogue and pointless exploring. Plus, I don't do this for a living, and I typed it out in the post box, not on Word.

 

[tagMaverick]

It's an interesting take on the game.

 

[marfoir(IRL)]

At least make an effort mate, talk about the hundreds of side quests, how you can rise to be the leader of all the guilds, the good graphics, the amazing soundtrack, the huge open world, how every dungeon is the same as the last one, how the enemies level with you...

In those two lines I've done a better review of the game than you because I have mentioned more than the plot. I know more about the game from those two lines than your review. I don't often like to criticize in case someone throws the old "well you do better" line in my face but in this situation I could do better.
If you plan to do more "reviews" talk about the gameplay, graphics, soundtrack, voiceacting, etc., don't just summarize the plot and say it's like a previous game.

EDIT(after reading his reply post):

One, (1)I did do this in 60 seconds. (2)First post,(3) tired, (4)not really liking the subject. Two,(5) I did not say the game was good, just boring. In my measure, boring is wanting to quit after an hour of playing, and bad is wanting to stop after a few minutes. Three, I didn't reach the end of this game, because it's boring, long, and filled to its brim with dialogue and pointless exploring. Plus, (6)I don't do this for a living, and I typed it out in the post box, not on Word.

(1)That shows your lack of effort
(2)So? That doesn't give a good first impression.
(3)Then don't write a review if you're tired, go to sleep.
(4)Then don't review it, nobody is forcing you to.
(5)You said it was not bad, same thing.
(6)So? That doesn't stop you writing a competant review.

 

[Logan Westbrook]

One, I did do this in 60 seconds. First post, tired, not really liking the subject. Two, I did not say the game was good, just boring. In my measure, boring is wanting to quit after an hour of playing, and bad is wanting to stop after a few minutes. Three, I didn't reach the end of this game, because it's boring, long, and filled to its brim with dialogue and pointless exploring. Plus, I don't do this for a living, and I typed it out in the post box, not on Word.

When someone says a thing is not bad, I tend to assume they mean that something is good, or at least passable. I didn't realise that 'boring' was an entry on the admittedly loose Good-Bad scale. You can make all the excuses that you like for the quality of your review, but I don't think that anyone who posts reviews in this forum is a professional reviewer, and most of us put in a little more effort, even for games we don't like.

 

[Copter400]

Very in-depth. You told us everything we need to know about the gameplay, dialog, philosophical undertones...

Here's a tip. Don't post a review if all you're going to do is skim over some plot details and deliver a confusing diagnosis. We don't need that here.

 

[JamesR]

Posts 2 and 3 pretty much say it all.

 

[noolli]

I thought this was an epic game. But you do have a point about the name thing. No one cares who you are and the fact you start in a prison means you are most likely, ya know, a criminal and a particularly bad one if you got caught. I thought that as well as no one caring who you are, you have no reason to be in the one province infested by deadra i would of fucked off to hammerfall with that amulet as soon as i got out of the prison but then that wouldn't make much of a story unless them idiot guards were hunting you down in the masses and the only way to escape them is to give the amulet to m........ c........ and take over cyrodil by his side. that would be cool.

 

[tagMaverick]

I didnt like that all i got for the main quest was some shitty armor. I saved the province, probably the world, and i got a better quest item from a lvl2 daedra.

 

[Scarpy]

Just stop posting now, until your posts are well thought out, un-biased and well presented.

 

[s0denone]

Great review! You altered my opinion on the matter, I never thought of it that way, rather compelling to say the least!


Cockney Weasel.

 

[Break]

Sure, being tired excuses you from writing a good review. You can't be expected to write well when you just need to go to sleep.

On the other hand, I do kind of wonder about the type of person to go, "oh, man, I'm beat. I really need to get to bed- OH HAY A FORUM". Seriously, what's the matter with you?

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

The first time I played this through I got really annoyed with the enemies constantly being almost more than a match for me regardless of if I was weilding the Sword of Eternal Pwnage or a tinfoil spork.
Then I became the head of the Fighters Guild, Mages Guild, Dark Brotherhood and the Grey Fox (not to mention becoming schizophrenic) and then I could slap down enemies left, right and centre without breaking a sweat.

 

[Sparkly Weasel]

Cockney Weasel.

HEY!

 

[mitsoxfan]

Maybe there's a niche for '60 second reviews'.

Oblivion: It's like the cube root of Daggerfall * Doom!

 

[runtheplacered]

Ok, we get it. You guys didn't like his review. Why are there 19 posts about it? You guys are so die-hard. heh