Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[scorptatious]

Granted. You are now fired and jobless.

I wish I could live on my own.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. Every other organism is dead due to mass radiation, and you survived since you were hidden in Paris Hilton's vagina.

I wish I could turn my body into weapons, like swords or clubs or even a bow and arrow!

I don't know how I'll pull that last one off...

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, you can grow them but they wont go away...the bad thing is that you didn't realize this before you made your arms and legs into blades, you get an itch and stab yourself in the face...twice.

I wish that I had a pack of bubblegum...that I didn't want to use.

Hehe, somebody try making that go bad...

 

[steeple]

granted, you get mugged and the mugger steals it from you, asking why you didnt use it. he doesnt accept that you just didnt want it, yet still had it with you, and after questioning you over and over he's fed up and shoots you.
[sub]happy? [/sub]

I wish to derail each and every thread, on every site, in the entire internet, FOREVER!

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then they make a new internet and everyone uses that one instead of the one you're on, and you get banned from the new internet.

I wish to have lunch with Daft Punk.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. I don't who that is, but they get rabies and chew on your balls for an hour. Then you die of rabies.

I wish for some gummy peach rings. I want something sweet and chewy that looks like an anus.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it contains arsenic too. Sweet dreams!

I wish for more violence in movies.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you loose your sight, so it doesn't matter.

I wish to spend the day with Jim Carrey on our birthday. (We were both born on the 17th)

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you both have to spend the day inside a fake Rhino in the baking heat.

I wish for a Rage Face.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, but you can't fly it.

I wish for a boot to the head.

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. It knocks too much sense into you! D:

I wish for world peace!

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. All wars on Mars are now quelled.

I wish for one of those sweet Red Mage hats.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but is isn't colour fast and ruined a lot of your other clothes in the wash.

I wish there was more singing in the daily grind of life.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Everyone is now forced to sing Rebecca Black's Friday at least 3 times every Friday.

I wish my Final Fantasy collection was complete. I really do, because I'm currently planning to shell out maybe $1000 to complete it. I have a feeling that they're going to be worth a bunch some day.

So yeah, to save some cash, I wish I had the whole FF series.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Years later...they are worth about as much as 90% of baseball cards, as everyone thought they'd be worth something some day.

Edit: Wow...this is the first time I've forgotten to wish.

Spoiler

 

[steeple]

I wish people would stop forgetting to post their own wishes...

also for a giant muffin...

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Everyone posts wishes that eventually corrupt and destroy this thread.

And you are crushed under the weight of the muffin.

I wish for a set of perfectly cut gaming dice.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Granted, but they cut so that the edges are very sharp, causing you to bleed to death when you roll them.

I wish I had superpowers.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You have the ability to undo knots with your mind if you are exactly 2000.089362169576574637346275463875647367510754617237189356175334234134234523424678976895078597617841678 km away for it.

I wish for chocolate.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it's 1% chocolate 99% bad tasting.

I wish for a yummy meal.