Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. You're stuck in a room filled to the brim with it, and can only escape by eating it all.

I wish for a messenger owl.

 

[steeple]

granted, the only message he gives you is that you were scammed. he proceeds to crap all over your house...

I wish I could dispense pez at will

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, but every time you do it you have to break your neck to do it, and it is a very, VERY, painful thing to do.

I wish I have a rope that's tied to the moon.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you pull it and cause the moon to crash into the earth.

I wish for Battle music.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted.
<youtube=Y26JyM2uv3s>

I wish I knew the formula for the Volume of a Rhombicuboctahedron.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted but the formula includes your soul, heart and brain.

I wish I could make anyone do what I say, If I put "Would you kindly.." in the sentence.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but you lose your voice and your arms, so you can't talk or write anymore.

I wish I had blue hair.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You have the rare blue hair disease. You have 1 day to live.

I wish I could ruin wishes without going completely random.

Also:<spoiler=Damn you ninja><youtube=PEj-F36IzaY>

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted they are now 99.99999999999% random.

I wish people did actually turn into their avatars, that would be interesting to see on the news.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Everyone either turns into looping animation, or a static image. we all die of deydration

I wish I didn't still have Halloween decorations out.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's an exact copy of the life you lived up till you got into the simulator.

I wish for a chandelier.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, I make one out of your family's bones.

I wish for a hamburger.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. I make one out of the meat of your legs.

I wish I could kick a dog in it's face

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted.

Have fun with Fluffy.

I wish that I would win the nicest person on the Escapist contest and win the hearts of everyone here.

[sub][sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted you actually win the hearts of everyone on the Escapist and you are wanted for mass murder.

I wish I had a Wispa bar and a Moro bar.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. However, you have also become a dog...somehow.

I wish for a dad.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Son clean your room!

I wish for a bowl of pea soup (That is not piss!).

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are Kitty Pryde, and this is what you're part of.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/10/fan_fiction_friday_dark_phoenix_saga_revenge_of_je.php#more

I wish for tacos.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but they are older and moldier than time itself.

I wish the world could find happiness.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Humanity discovers a rare new super fuel, dubbed Happiness, and wars erupt all over the world to control it.

I wish for wine that doesn't taste awful.