Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Too bad you were only able to dream up about three bucks. >.>

I wish I could be done with homework forever.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, you are forever burdened by schoolwork.

I wish I could stay in England.

 

[GmonXyZ]

Granted, but you are forced to stand guard at Buckingham Palace every other day.

I wish i could write Assembly code without additional effort.

 

[StormShaun]

Granted, you are now a human computer, the government raided your house and capture you.

You are now in a Government lab at Area 51 being experimented on.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, the void you left in your post takes symbolic form and you find yourself in a sensory deprivation tank, forever.

I wish I had a house elf.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. They poison your food and steal your soul.

I wish for a remote mountain retreat.

 

[Verzin]

Granted. A highway is put four feet away from your front door however.

I wish for long gorgeous anime hair.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. However it grows out of control and you turn into a big hairy yeti.

I wish for the Lance of Longinus.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, but when you bond to it you discover that in addition to its other sentient powers, it is telepathic, but in a constant degrading, abusive tourette's sort of way.

I wish I had the YouTube video of that.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Audio removed by WMG.

I wish I had a remote mountain retreat far from any busy roads.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's also an active volcano.

I wish for a happy earth.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You are not a part of it.

I wish I had a remote mountain retreat far away from any busy roads or active volcanoes/seismic hotspots.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, but you are in an iron lung in a hospital in downtown Shanghai.

I wish I was on a warm beach in Greece being served by Cabana boys.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but they spit in your drink.

I wish Shogun 2 would be a bit more reliable.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, but only for a moment then the universe explodes.

I wish I had Green Lantern's ring.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, too bad it malfunctions and turns you into a mushroom.

I wish my glare could temporarily paralyse people.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, but its only for .000000000000000000001 of a second.

I wish I had this week off.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but you spend the entirety of it in prison.

I wish I had a Death Note.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but every name you write on it turns into someone you love when you don't look at it.

I wish for an end to the ME3 rage.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. As per Escapist tradition, everyone moves on and starts raging about Xenoblade Chronicles.

I wish I owned every single JRPG ever made.