Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Granted, free rides on the neverending hype train forever, where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is as it seems...

I wish for this game to end.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. We have to release the gas now. Everyone please remain seated.

I wish for another round of tea.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, there is some adaptable poison in that tea... But, drink it anyway... I insist...

I wish I was in a snowball fight!

 

[tilmoph]

Granted. All the snow is yellow

I wish I was Holy Roman Emperor

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You must sacrifice your life for this opportunity.

I wish I had a genius gardener who worked for free.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. However, he is also an annoying smart ass.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can't say you wish at this point!

I wish to rekindle my relationship!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. Your spouse lights you on fire.

I wish for a donut.

 

[tilmoph]

Granted, it's in that biowaste dumpster over there.

I wish I had less random work hours.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you are now working 24/7... thus making it 100% non-random for the rest of your life...

I wish I had a dumbphone!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, Thanks to the radiation it emits your children will be malformed monsters.

I wish I the ultimate power.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will make you even more illiterate to the point that we're going to shoot you into the abyss of space...

I wish to keep it secret and safe!

 

[tilmoph]

Granted, you and everyone who knows is blasted into the sun, whilst it is frozen in carbonite and sealed in a pocket dimension beyond the reach of gods

I wish I had power that surpassed the gods.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can't surpass yourself because yourself (not you) just did because of said wish...

I wish to solve crimes in a retro-style van!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted! The case of the creeper in the unmarked white van is now solved!

I wish for the stars!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you are forever lost within a cosmos of cocaine... in Hollywood!

I wish I love to sing-a!

 

[tilmoph]

Granted, the joy in your heart when you sing will only be equaled by the destruction of everything else's eardrums.
I wish I could teleport anywhere I wanted to at will.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, just like in Jumper, you will be killed by <link-http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120511214055/villains/images/6/66/Roland_Cox_(Jumper).jpg>this guy in the worse way possible...

I wish the fun will never end!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Welcome to Disneyland. Put on this huge and sweltering furry suit.

I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish...

 

[tilmoph]

Granted. That fish lives to catch and spread a horrible plague that ruins the ecosystem, killing us all.

I wish I didn't have a cold.