Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's not as good as Transformers 5... (Just let that sink in...)

I wish for a better exposition explanation!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but everything else is poorly explained.

I wish Charlize Theron was my girlfriend.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, she's a monster in dark places once you're trapped in north country and she preforms a "force-vasectomy" on you...

I wish that VCR was fixed!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but no-one uses VCR anymore

I wish I had rocket shoes

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they always blow up before they leave the ground...

I wish the meta was subversive in nature!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but the beta becomes dominating.

I wish mandatory could be fun!

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Granted, but now everything is optional and only mandatory is fun.

I wish I had sushi for lunch

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it gave you food poisoning...

I wish the force was with me!

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Granted, when you get fried with Force lightning the Force is definitely with you. It's all over you, in your brain, everywhere.

I wish for unlimited powah.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you get tossed into the reactor... to die from "too much powah"...

I wish to gangnam her style like a mother father gentleman!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. Her father kicks your arse doing so.

I wish for greatness!

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Granted. You feel the greatness flow in your veins before overloading and exploding in a shower of greatness.

I wish for my life to have the best soundtrack ever.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's all performed by the worst orchestra of all time...

I wish for the sticks to work again!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, they run out of power really quickly

I wish I for big sack of really good gifts

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. They all break and become useless after a week.

I wish the broncos win the super bowl, and when presented with the lombardi, John Elway says "This one's for Pat" in honor of owner Pat Bowlen who had to step down because of Alzheimer's, much like after SB 32, "This one's for John!"

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, a giant alien ship crash-lands on the entire Broncos team...and everyone ends up forever forgetting about the Broncos afterwords...

I wish to draw last blood!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's your own blood

I wish for good games forever

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, all your money would go towards support shitty gaming practices and potential slave labor in video games...

I wish for another wish for a friend!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Your friend uses the wish to ruin your life.

I wish I was always right.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, this only applies to you saying something negative about yourself.

I wish I had alien technology.