Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[FPLOON]

Granted, they will constantly bug you from when you wake to long after you sleep ever again and beyond...

I wish I could punch Insomnia to bed!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, punching you to sleep is the only method

I wish I could play Co-op without other players

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the AI will always get you killed even if you controlled them directly...

I wish I had thought of that thing from a few days ago!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

granted, but you instantly forget it the next day.

I wish Rhona Mitra was my girlfriend.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, she will strike back on doomsday when you become a hollow man on the last ship with the rise of the lycans...

I wish I could handle this message situation!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, you become unable to handle anything else.

Also, I must applaud your cleverness in the ruining of my previous wish.

I wish my ex-girlfriend would gain 200 pounds.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you must always tell her that she's "hot as fuck" in everything she wears...
http://metsmerizedonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/bugs-bunny.jpg?6c20df
I wish Chiyo-chan could motivate me!

 

[Wary Wolf]

She motivates you, but you never follow through...

Spoiler: You heartless bastard

I wish eating pastries was the way to world piece and enlightenment

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it also leads to the extinction of the human race through a pastrie-hating extraterrestrial invasion...

I wish Superman existed for centuries on our Earth!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, you must always tell her that she's "hot as fuck" in everything she wears...

haha jokes on you! I don't have an ex-girlfriend!

anyways.

He is an insufferable overly anal prick.

I wish real life was more like a video game.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but the average joes (NPCs) are even more bumbling

I wish I could wrestle

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you must always tell her that she's "hot as fuck" in everything she wears...

haha jokes on you! I don't have an ex-girlfriend!

Jokes on you! I do now! I'm breaking up with you!! Merry Thanksmas!!

OT: Granted, you will inadvertently die in your first match...

I wish I could Shadow Clone your Jutsu... if you know what I mean...

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

granted, it repeatedly kicks your arse.

No way it hell it happens, but I wish Kung Fu Panda 3 would beat the new Star Wars at the box office.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, in this situation, the "box office" is what we call the preschool demographic... which doesn't mean much overall, anyway...

I wish one click did not end up equaling two when I type really fast!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

granted, but now when you type, you hit every key twice

I wish I was always right.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it has made you more left to the point of committing terrorism on an intergalactic scale...

I wish I didn't have to wear a tie!

 

[Wary Wolf]

Granted, Caramel Frappe changes your avatar removing the tie. He also removes the shirt and replaces the tie with chest hair instead.

I wish I make it through tonight's night shift without throwing up, passing out, or accidently injecting myself with insulin.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you shoot yourself... with a gun... provided by a stranger during the night shift...

I wish I knew her specs!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now you have to wear glasses

I wish I was athletic

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, you are now dumb as rocks.

I wish Kung Fu Panda 3 would be a better movie than the new Star Wars.