Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dango]

Granted. You fall asleep for 100 years and when you wake up everyone you ever loved is gone.

I wish for a bow tie.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but it's haunted... or something.

I wish for a cowboy hat.

 

[Dango]

Granted. Every one is too afraid to come inside.

I wish for a marble.

 

[Dango]

Granted, someone steals it and does nothing with. They stole it just to spite you.

I wish for money to fall from the sky.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but it's replaced by good, which defeats evil overall.

I wish I had a key to everything.

 

[Dango]

Granted, but it has no plumbing connected to it.

I wish for a magazine.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. The pens you used to use feel jealous when you start using this pencil, so that create a trap to the pencil. Sadly, you get your hands caught in the trap instead, which is more or less a guillotine, and chopes off all your fingers.

I wish I didn't never capitalize j's

 

[nuba km]

granted but the pencil promptly explodes in your face

I wish for a turkey sandwich but it can't be a living turkey, it is just turkey, no zombie turkey just a plain old turkey sandwich which uses slices of turkey meat not a leg of turkey or an enter turkey and the turkey has to be safe to eat.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! you dont that you are starving to death!

I wish i didnt have to drink

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You still feel the effects of dehydration, though you won't die.

I wish for more metorites.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! they ALL hit you

I wish for a ban hammer!

 

[Zirat]

Granted!
*Chucks a massive Banhammer at you, crushing\banning you in the process*

I wish for the ability to write something creative for once!