Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted. However, you weren't prepared for them to all appear at once. They crush you with their weight, and you die. Sorry about that. :c

I wish I lived closer to the people I love.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You turn into a tentacle monster, unfortunately.

I wish I had a lightning spear.

 

[GmonXyZ]

Granted. You incur the wrath of Thor, losing all abilities to produce any offspring.

I wish i had a yellow submarine.

 

[Silverslith]

Granted, but its made of rice paper and dissolves almost instantly on contact with the water.

I wish Thor was my sugar daddy.

 

[StormShaun]

Ugh...granted...Aha, but he invites you to a party...it was a gang party and you were the only naked person there.

I'll just leave it there I didn't like where it was going.

I wish to see a universe which combined Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

Granted but every loveable character died in a horrible accident, there are no sith/Jedi and the rings are destroyed.

I wish Lord Cthulhu would return!

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Too bad you won't be around to see His glory!

I wish Cthulhu would give me a pay rise.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You work less hours now, so it balances itself out.

I wish I had a real life Your Eternal Reward knife. I will be the Saharan Spy!

 

[Matilda X]

Granted, but its in your lower colon and you bleed to death.

I wish I was on the centennial Titanic cruise.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. It doesn't sink as you probably desire, instead everyone gets a nasty stomach bug.

I wish I had tentacles.

 

[Matilda X]

Granted, but they are around your vagina.

I wish I had a fresh bottle of vodka.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted, but it's spiked and you fall into a coma.

I wish to become King of England.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but an angry Scotsman comes and murders you.

I wish for more Minecraft.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted.

Spoiler: Minesweeper minecraft!

I wish that I was done with classes forever. :/

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Granted. You are hit by a meteor and die. No more classes, though!

I wish I could conjure objects out thin air by thinking about them.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's only the future of James P. Borington.

I wish for a menu.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Granted, but the brain used to belong to Kim Kardashian.

I wish I had an awesome PC to play Skyrim on so I had access to mods.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Granted. You are now 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 nanometres taller.

I wish I didn't grow facial hair.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. FORE!

*hits you with a golf club*

I wish I understood what a baller was.

 

[Final First]

Tell you what it was then hit you in the head with a bat to give you brain damage.

I wish I could control time.