Science and maths jokes anyone?

[kotorfan04]

Okay, this one is a bit of a lame one, but what the hell I like it.
Why do Native Americans have so much energy? Because they live in a teepee. (ATP)

 

[ctrl-alt-postal]

Half the people you know are under average.

Was that a bit mean??

 

[Woodsey]

I don't get the infinite mathematicians joke xD

if you have a sequence which starts with 1 and continually adds a half of the previous number, technically you end up with 1.9 recurring, but it is classed as 2

No technically if you did it an infinite number of times you'd get to two.

Two is the limit of this equation

The joke shouldn't be this complicated, I think I've already had 2 answers and they were different to this .

 

[KnowYourOnion]

A cop pulls a car over and asks to see a driver's license. He looks at it and asks "Dr. Heisenberg, do you know how fast you were going?" Dr. Heisenberg answers, "I have no idea. But I know precisely where I was."

cheap i know

 

[Molotov H20]

What did the acorn say when it grew up? "Gee, I'm a tree!"

HAHa... ha...
Oh bugger it.

 

[Maze1125]

I don't get the infinite mathematicians joke xD

if you have a sequence which starts with 1 and continually adds a half of the previous number, technically you end up with 1.9 recurring, but it is classed as 2

No technically if you did it an infinite number of times you'd get to two.

Two is the limit of this equation

The joke shouldn't be this complicated, I think I've already had 2 answers and they were different to this .

It's simple, 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16 + ... = 2.
Or, more precisely, the limit of the sequence
"1
1 + 1/2
1 + 1/2 + 1/4
1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8
..."
is 2.

The joke itself is not very funny.

 

[Woodsey]

I don't get the infinite mathematicians joke xD

if you have a sequence which starts with 1 and continually adds a half of the previous number, technically you end up with 1.9 recurring, but it is classed as 2

No technically if you did it an infinite number of times you'd get to two.

Two is the limit of this equation

The joke shouldn't be this complicated, I think I've already had 2 answers and they were different to this .

It's simple, 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16 + ... = 2.
Or, more precisely, the limit of the sequence
"1
1 + 1/2
1 + 1/2 + 1/4
1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8
..."
is 2.

The joke itself is not very funny.

It's a maths joke, what do you expect?

Yeah I get the concept, I just mean people shouldn't have so many different answers to it, that's all.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

K9P is the chemical formula for dog urine....

 

[ma55ter_fett]

In the world of chemicals, a constant battle rages between the chemical supervillains and the chemical secret agents. The most esteemed of these is one (OO)7, international dyeing agent of mystery. On one particularly hairy mission, he finds himself pitted against the evil genius of lore, Dr. Nitrogen Monoxide, who has set a devious trap in the form of an ordinary piece of white cloth. After falling through a cleverly placed mechanosensitive membrane protein, (OO)7 is shocked to find himself soaking in to a tightly bound mesh of cotton fibers. (He is, after all, a dyeing agent.) In desperation, he calls to his nemesis, "Do you expect me to talk, NO?" The villain only chuckles maniacally.

"No Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond."

There are not enough cookies in the world to explain how brilliant this is.

It is very good.

 

[Maze1125]

I don't get the infinite mathematicians joke xD

if you have a sequence which starts with 1 and continually adds a half of the previous number, technically you end up with 1.9 recurring, but it is classed as 2

No technically if you did it an infinite number of times you'd get to two.

Two is the limit of this equation

The joke shouldn't be this complicated, I think I've already had 2 answers and they were different to this .

It's simple, 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16 + ... = 2.
Or, more precisely, the limit of the sequence
"1
1 + 1/2
1 + 1/2 + 1/4
1 + 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8
..."
is 2.

The joke itself is not very funny.

It's a maths joke, what do you expect?

Yeah I get the concept, I just mean people shouldn't have so many different answers to it, that's all.

No, they shouldn't.
But a lot of people have this tendency to get an A in Maths at school, or take one module of it at university and then believe that they know everything there is to know about the subject.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

Resistance is futile!
If less than 1 ohm.

 

[messy]

professor heizenberg is pulled over by a traffic cop
the cop asks him "do you know how fast you were going sir?"
heizenberg replies "no, but i can tell you exactly where i was"

Just reading his book "physics and philosophy"

This joke is genius

 

[PinkAngelKitty]

What does a grumpy old mathematician say to the neighbourhood kids?

HEY you brats! Get that log off my ln!


Bad... but I fucking laughed.

 

[PinkAngelKitty]

Oh ok I've got another one. If the chemical formula for water is H_2_O, what's the chemical formula for ice?

Spoiler

H_2_O^3 or water "cubed"

 

[BlindMessiah94]

I <3 this thread. That is all.

 

[Maze1125]

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 0.999999...

 

[oppp7]

Paleontologists make the best husbands. The older their wives get the more interested in them they are.

 

[brtshstel]

Three professors are chillin' at a bar; one is a literature professor, one a finite mathematics professor, and the last one a physics professor. They're chatting it up and then a beautiful girl walks by.

The lit professor says "you may go after her, but your steps may only be one half the distance of your previous step."

The finite math professor says "but at that rate, I will never get close enough to talk to her!"

The physics professor shrugs his shoulders and says "eh, close enough."