Science Proves Frank West's Zombie Survival Strategy Correct

[The_Prophet]

It reminds me of the old joke, where the physicist solves a farmer's chicken problem... but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum. The physicist should have accounted for nonrandom zombie behaviors, specifically, their attraction to noises, lights, and movement. Thus, a random walker model does not accurately represent the behavior of a zombie.

Fuck science! I say go to your nearest skyscraper and camp out there and snipe the decaying bastards. Assuming zombies won't figure out how to operate an elevator then your good. As long as you plant claymores in the stair well.

Simply destroying staircases in some way is a better choice. Once that is done, skyscrapers are impenetrable fortresses. Unless enough of them show up that they manage to clamber up eachother to get into the second or third floor...

and unless the military decides to nuke everything.

 

[Simalacrum]

shame that all the malls in my town sell rows and rows and rows and rows of clothes... and the occasional game

 

[Spygon]

yes a mall would be a good place if every square ft of earth was cover in zombies equally.But it wouldnt be.

As the more populated places etc malls,city centers and office builidngs will be full of the undead.

So anybody heading to a mall will be joining the hordes rather quickly

 

[WhiteTiger225]

So what do we do incase of a Metalokalypse?

 

[Therumancer]

It's no worse than what is done with a lot of art grants.

Truthfully though I can see some obscure applications for this if you look at it in the case of simple variables, rather than an actual zombie apocolypse.

It's sort of like how in pursuit training they teach you that someone who is trying to avoid pursuit is more likely to turn left than right if you lose sight of them at an intersection.

Why is this? Well the answer is simple, most people are right handed and tend to instinctively think in terms of moving to the right, following the right wall, etc. It's how they are generally wired.

However if they are trying to evade a pursuer without seriously thinking, they are going to think in a counter-intuitive fashion and turn left instinctively thinking it's unusual.

Now someone trained to avoid pursuers might turn right, knowing what a trained person is going to think. Of of course turn left thinking your going to try and double guess him. This of course brings it back to a 50-50 since it's guess work.

However if your chasing someone and don't know, the odds do favor you going left.


Long and rambling, but the bottom line is that this apparently works enough to teach it to people. The guys researching this probably would have been considered retarded by many in the initial analysis, but it does make sense.

Some of you may have learned this, others might not have . It sounds vaguely similar to what those guys were doing. Computing variables in a pursuer/pursuee relationship.

 

[Koeryn]

I disagree. I think the safest place to go would be Alaska. Everyone knows zombies are not equipped to deal with a snow-and-ice environment.

Plus, it's easier to hide the bodies [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Columbia_Highway_16#Highway_of_Tears]...

 

[ae86gamer]

Can I tag along too? I'll be the comic relife that gets eatin first.

Of course you can!

 

[Stardude82]

Wow... Physical Review E that like 4 letters less than Physical Review A. I think the APS should change their names of their articles.

 

[DirkGently]

Except it's so very, very, wrong. Malls are typically large, and it'd have to be one to provide you with supplies for a long time. So you'd need more people to help you cover that ground, which means the supplies will last for less time. Next, if you're able to get into the mall, so can other people/zombies. So you have to seal it quickly, which you probably can't do. And it's probably full of people anyway, and there's a decent chance one of them is already infected. There's even a decent chance that it's filled with zombies already, in which case you need some strategy for getting in and clearing the way, cleaning up the mess, and sealing the place off. This would probably be a complicated task for a company of marines, even if they were properly supplied.

Computer program is wrong, unless you're already way out of town in your own private mountain fortress villa, you're fucked.

 

[azurawolf]

Was that really necessary?
Anyway... the mall here in town would suck if Zombies attacked. No stairs.
To the mall an hour away!
God I'm gonna die. xp

 

[Baldry]

I disagree. I think the safest place to go would be Alaska. Everyone knows zombies are not equipped to deal with a snow-and-ice environment.

RE: Code Veronica. Almost half of it takes place in Antarctica.

Well, if the zombie outbreak does happen I know where I'm going... I'm gonna go to The Mall of America! ^_^

Can I join? I'll bring the C4 and assault rifles.

Of course you can! The more the merrier! Besides, if you come then there is less chance of me getting eaten alive.

The more the merrier, goood, i'll go set up the machine gun nests, anyone for claymores and granades =)

 

[Diablini]

The very narrow stairs can be very easily blocked by a few heavy props and zombies can't use the elevator. So we are again invincible but aren't in threat of a social conflict.

The problem is, sieges usually end because the invaders run out of supplies, get bored, et cetera.

Zombies do not, depending on the mythos, require food or entertainment.
So you can't wait them out.

I don't want to wait them out, I want to get rescued, and our 14-story roof is perfect for a choper.

 

[MarsProbe]

Well, now all they have to do is a study on Vampires. Seriously, what a waste of fucking money!!! They should use that money on curing cancer or finding Osama Bin Laden. Dumb fuckers.

Pfft, cancer. That sort of things for charities to worry about. As for Osama Bin Laden...well, I don't know, is there a charity for that? Either way, best leave the important stuff, like surviving the zombie apocalypose to the scientists. It's more likely the zombies will be trying to get in your door than it would be a middle eastern terrorist leader, or the cancer virus. Priorities, people!

 

[Malkavian]

Part of me likes to think that when the zombies start coming, it'll be the middle of winter.

Winter in Ottawa? Zombies all frozen. Could just stay home. Play Left 4 Dead.

I'm not sure if zombies can freeze...

On the other hand, I know they can't swim.

No, no, they can freeze.

They can't swim, but they can keep walking underwater (provided the pressure doesn't destroy them), perhaps one day reaching land.

Oh, I disagree... http://www.gamereactor.dk/media/ug/03/60388.jpg

 

[Lazzi]

you guys do that, Ill stay in the florida keys...

the humidity will mke them decompose much faster,and once they are past a certian point of decomp they cant be reanimated.

 

[Marsell]

Well, if the zombie outbreak does happen I know where I'm going... I'm gonna go to The Mall of America! ^_^

I'm with ya.
but did'nt THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE say that a shopping mall is too hard to fortify?
Still, if you manage to close up a mall, more power to you.

 

[KingHodor]

History is full of examples of civilizations triumphing against vastly superior numbers by being just centuries or decades ahead in terms of weaponry and tactics.

Bronze-agers decimating stone-agers, hoplites decimating bronze-age warriors, phalangites decimating hoplites, legionnaires decimating phalangites [...] landsknechts decimating knights, musketeers decimating landsknechts [...] guys with breech-loading needle guns decimating muzzle-loaders, guys with bolt-action rifles decimating guys with needle guns [...] guys with assault rifles with optics decimating guys with assault rifles with iron sights etc. etc.

Now, zombies have NO tactics and NO weaponry whatsoever, so how are they going to stand up to an enemy that they are literally millions of years behind in the arms race?
Even if the non-infected humans did not have firearms, the zombies would stand practically no chance of overpowering a semi-organized group in a somewhat defensible position.

Most zombie scenarios therefore rely on simply giving the zombies a *huge* head start, aided by having the humans ignore pretty much any and all biohazard safety precautions when handling such a dangerous contagion (see "28 Weeks Later" for a particularly egregious example).

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

Well, now all they have to do is a study on Vampires. Seriously, what a waste of fucking money!!! They should use that money on curing cancer or finding Osama Bin Laden. Dumb fuckers.

Lol wut?

Erm...

you do realise Osama is dead, right?

EDIT:

This thread is two years old?

Wtf? Why was it in the recent thread update thingy?