Sell the user above you!

[Kitsune Hunter]

What can I say? It's Jesus Fucking Christ, and it turns out he's gained super ninja abilities, Ninja Jesus, come on people, you need this. Pre-order now for £50

 

[SirDerpy]

You want this. Genius enough to do all of your homework at the same time, tough enough to beat up neighborhood bullies/the police/the entire United States military, and fast enough to get home before dinner even starts!

At the low, low cost of 500$. [small]And your soul.[/small]

 

[SirDerpy]

Have you ever wanted a flying blue cat-thing? Do you possess powers of dragon-slaying? Does your name start with a Q?

Regardless of whether you answered the above questions or not, you definitely want a TizzytheTormentor. All for the cost of a single lifetime's supply of fish.

 

[Clearwaters]

Boasting realistic features, a removable hat, and kung fu grip. SirDerpy is the ultimate in playtime technology.

For just twenty easy payments of $29.99, this one of a kind collectors item can be yours! With our severely limited stock you're doing yourself a disservice in not purchasing right now!!

 

[Bofus Teefus]

Clear, unpolluted waters! Drink a glass of him! Do your laundry with him! Fill a fishbowl with him! Endless possibilities! $12.99 per gallon, and a portion of your frontal lobe for each individual purchase!

 

[Barbas]

Introducing the new Jesus Christ Buddy action figure with walk-on-water action! $19.99, son!

 

[Total LOLige]

Illegal in one hundred countries - so you know they're good. Buy your very own Dirty Cop James funs now for the nominal fee of $53.99. Batteries not included. Does not emit radiation, ignore that Geiger counter.

 

[Bofus Teefus]

Dudes! Bros! It's Total LOLige! Fits in the brodget nicely at $0.99 per liter!

 

[EilaliE]

This living, breathing miracle machine (brand from China) turns pure water into genuine wine! Enjoy 10% off for a limited time only!
Get free wine samples* at any local store today. This sale ends July 31, 2014.




[small]*Samples are randomly selected and subject to availability.[/small]

 

[SirDerpy]

Have you ever needed a teacher figure to yell at you and demean you? Have you ever wanted somebody you could call Sensei?

Here they are! EilaliE, to fulfill all your teacher-based needs today! Upkeep is only one apple and the flesh of children. Only $666.00!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

He's low in price! And he has shiny buttons!

 

[Barbas]

The venerable Panzerlin V, baptized in fire and with a gleaming service record! Five tours under its belt and just over 53,000 miles on the clock! Offers above $125,000 only!

 

[Rabbitboy]

He is cheap fuel efficient and good with little children. Used to belong to an old lady who didn't use him very much.

[small]We can not be held responsible for any malfunctions, destroyed property or raped pets [/small]

 

[TheMightyMeekling]

Step right up, step right up, and behold: the one and only Rabbitboy!!! Is he a rabbit that pretends to be a boy, the other way round, or is he actually a sleeper agent robot ninja member of the illuminated society of popcorn space lizards? Nobody knows, but you could find out, for the cheap price of 10 ... 1000 .... Ah screw it, gimmee all your money or rabbitboy will give you rabies. You don't want to have rabies, do you?

 

[Rabbitboy]

He is very mighty despite being a weakling. An unique combination to say the least. He's also fresh of the assembly line and hasn't seen much use yet.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

He's the illegitimate son of Bugs Bunny, that's gotta be worth something!?

 

[Rabbitboy]

He is a taco and he is psychic. If you eat him you will get his powers! Only ?999.999.999.999,99

 

[Barbas]

Make no mistake, the pain will be more than real!

It will also cost $12.99.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Barbas. Eh... A dime for a dozen? No wait. A nickel for two!