Serial Killer Round 49: Carnival of Fear. The killer is dead. ROUND OVER
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@staika: "My living competition has liquidated their assets, thanks to your efforts. And with you gone, your cardboard stock sales are plummeting. All that's left is the easily distracted cat."
[small]*spins around in villainous leather chair, stands, looks out window and observes goings on at rival business conglomerate across the street*[/small]
"The writing is on the wall, Mr. staika. I own this afterlife."
[small]*spins around in villainous leather chair, stands, looks out window and observes goings on at rival business conglomerate across the street*[/small]
"The writing is on the wall, Mr. staika. I own this afterlife."
"I still can't believe I got fooled into buying this..."
It had been a long and hard decision for Nouw to make but after hours of wrestling with his phone, watching motivational videos and talking to himself in the mirror he hustled down and made the call. It had been a mysterious transaction to say the least, you could say it was kafkaesque. He had half-suspected to be murdered right there on the spot, strangled to death by floating pants on the merry-go-round but all they could muster were horrible puns. At one point an argument regarding cardboxes sparked during which Nouw almost ran off. After they realized they couldn't harm each other however, which took a surprisingly long time, he got what he wanted: the BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest. Nouw was going to ask for washing instructions but they had disappeared like *that*, clothes left behind and all.
"Well, here goes nothing."
He carefully opened the plastic wrapping with a craft-knife, carefully not to pop any bubbles, and put on the vest with ease. He ripped out the price-tag, it had nonsensical small-print as far as he was concerned, and after getting a feel for the vest Nouw decided it was more comfortable than he thought; it even tucked in nicely under his clothes. He felt much safer with the vest on, much more confident too. He checked himself out in the mirror and nodded with approval. That was when he heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Nouw asked. He didn't have to ask loudly, he lived in a one-room apartment.
After hearing no response, Nouw picked up the craft-knife and went over to the door. He looked through the key-hole and saw a horrifying sight: his fellow carnival-goers all wearing an animal mask but what was more horrifying was the massive stuffed animal they were each carrying. Nouw checked the calendar to see if it was some kind of special occasion but noticed it was Tuesday. Nothing special ever went down on Tuesdays as far as he knew.
He slowly backed away from the door only for them to knock again. On the third knock Nouw went for his back-window but that was when the door flew open. They rushed inside but Nouw was quick to react. He cut open the elephant his first assailant was carrying and consequently they fell to the floor. Nouw grinned at his small victory and ran at the nearest animal. It was a pig and this time they threw it at Nouw only for it to harmlessly bounce off. As soon as Nouw raised his knife they fell over and went into a defeated-huddle. He decided he didn't have time to deal with this him and so he diverted his attention to the rest of the stuffed-animal wielding freaks. There were seven more to go, all of them hesitant to approach Nouw despite having him cornered.
"Stay back, I have a knife!" Nouw yelled, pointing his DIY utensil in their general direction.
Evidently it was the wrong to declare, despite obviously having a knife from the start, as they brought out craft-knives of their own.
No matter, this bubble-vest will protect me.
That was when they opened up their stuffed toys to reveal another weapon. Nouw's jaws dropped as they pulled out machetes, hammers, hand-guns and even a bazooka.
Should have gone for the giraffe first I fucking knew it!
Escape was now Nouw's best choice he knew and the person closest to the door blocking his immediate exit was the one holding the steak-knife. It wouldn't be too hard he decided and even if all went awry his vest would protect him. He threw his craft knife at the monkey holding the nun-chuck and charged the rat. Despite his small stature the rat did not move and consequently Nouw received a direct stab to the gut. He forced it out and as expected no blood was visible. That was until he was directly stabbed again. And again. And again. Nouw dropped to the floor and reached for the price-tag, wanting to know whether the truth lied there.
*BubbleWrapBrand BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest may or may not provide protection against direct or multiple stab wounds. BubbleWrapBrand encourages the safe, responsible use of BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest products and advises the best protection is prevention. BubbleWrapBrand does not warranty retroactive purchases.
"That bastard..." Nouw coughed blood and with great discontent, died.
Several days later at an undisclosed merry-go-round.
"Fuck why do I have to do it?"
"Because you're the sucker that fell for it. Now go tell him what you wanted to hear on that chilly Tuesday evening."
"Fine...So, we heard you're interested in protection. Bubble-stab, protection."
It had been a long and hard decision for Nouw to make but after hours of wrestling with his phone, watching motivational videos and talking to himself in the mirror he hustled down and made the call. It had been a mysterious transaction to say the least, you could say it was kafkaesque. He had half-suspected to be murdered right there on the spot, strangled to death by floating pants on the merry-go-round but all they could muster were horrible puns. At one point an argument regarding cardboxes sparked during which Nouw almost ran off. After they realized they couldn't harm each other however, which took a surprisingly long time, he got what he wanted: the BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest. Nouw was going to ask for washing instructions but they had disappeared like *that*, clothes left behind and all.
"Well, here goes nothing."
He carefully opened the plastic wrapping with a craft-knife, carefully not to pop any bubbles, and put on the vest with ease. He ripped out the price-tag, it had nonsensical small-print as far as he was concerned, and after getting a feel for the vest Nouw decided it was more comfortable than he thought; it even tucked in nicely under his clothes. He felt much safer with the vest on, much more confident too. He checked himself out in the mirror and nodded with approval. That was when he heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Nouw asked. He didn't have to ask loudly, he lived in a one-room apartment.
After hearing no response, Nouw picked up the craft-knife and went over to the door. He looked through the key-hole and saw a horrifying sight: his fellow carnival-goers all wearing an animal mask but what was more horrifying was the massive stuffed animal they were each carrying. Nouw checked the calendar to see if it was some kind of special occasion but noticed it was Tuesday. Nothing special ever went down on Tuesdays as far as he knew.
He slowly backed away from the door only for them to knock again. On the third knock Nouw went for his back-window but that was when the door flew open. They rushed inside but Nouw was quick to react. He cut open the elephant his first assailant was carrying and consequently they fell to the floor. Nouw grinned at his small victory and ran at the nearest animal. It was a pig and this time they threw it at Nouw only for it to harmlessly bounce off. As soon as Nouw raised his knife they fell over and went into a defeated-huddle. He decided he didn't have time to deal with this him and so he diverted his attention to the rest of the stuffed-animal wielding freaks. There were seven more to go, all of them hesitant to approach Nouw despite having him cornered.
"Stay back, I have a knife!" Nouw yelled, pointing his DIY utensil in their general direction.
Evidently it was the wrong to declare, despite obviously having a knife from the start, as they brought out craft-knives of their own.
No matter, this bubble-vest will protect me.
That was when they opened up their stuffed toys to reveal another weapon. Nouw's jaws dropped as they pulled out machetes, hammers, hand-guns and even a bazooka.
Should have gone for the giraffe first I fucking knew it!
Escape was now Nouw's best choice he knew and the person closest to the door blocking his immediate exit was the one holding the steak-knife. It wouldn't be too hard he decided and even if all went awry his vest would protect him. He threw his craft knife at the monkey holding the nun-chuck and charged the rat. Despite his small stature the rat did not move and consequently Nouw received a direct stab to the gut. He forced it out and as expected no blood was visible. That was until he was directly stabbed again. And again. And again. Nouw dropped to the floor and reached for the price-tag, wanting to know whether the truth lied there.
*BubbleWrapBrand BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest may or may not provide protection against direct or multiple stab wounds. BubbleWrapBrand encourages the safe, responsible use of BubbleStab-Proof Bubble Vest products and advises the best protection is prevention. BubbleWrapBrand does not warranty retroactive purchases.
"That bastard..." Nouw coughed blood and with great discontent, died.
***
Several days later at an undisclosed merry-go-round.
"Fuck why do I have to do it?"
"Because you're the sucker that fell for it. Now go tell him what you wanted to hear on that chilly Tuesday evening."
"Fine...So, we heard you're interested in protection. Bubble-stab, protection."
@RaNDM: HOW DARE YOU HOLD THAT INNOCENT CARDBOARD HOSTAGE! I'd do something about it, but alas I am dead and no longer care.
*floats away*
@Schizzy: Are you saying that the cardboard is getting free will? If it is then we must harness this new discovery and make a new line of intelligent cardboard. IT WILL SELL MILLIONS!
*floats away*
@Schizzy: Are you saying that the cardboard is getting free will? If it is then we must harness this new discovery and make a new line of intelligent cardboard. IT WILL SELL MILLIONS!