Seriously, why do some guys pull this shit?

[McMullen]

If you're a woman, you should know that your assumption really doesn't help the situation. Try not assuming that men are all creeps. Most just don't know how to talk to you. Partly because they're afraid you think they're creeps.

How is texting an acquaintance you don't really know that well that you're horny NOT creepy? Look, I dunno where you're from, but there's certain things you just don't do, because they are CREEPY. That is CREEPY. The guy did that CREEPY THING. The rational explanation is HE IS CREEPY.

Yes, he's absolutely creepy. But I think assuming he's a rapist is a bit much.

 

[DracoSuave]

If you're a woman, you should know that your assumption really doesn't help the situation. Try not assuming that men are all creeps. Most just don't know how to talk to you. Partly because they're afraid you think they're creeps.

How is texting an acquaintance you don't really know that well that you're horny NOT creepy? Look, I dunno where you're from, but there's certain things you just don't do, because they are CREEPY. That is CREEPY. The guy did that CREEPY THING. The rational explanation is HE IS CREEPY.

Yes, he's absolutely creepy. But I think assuming he's a rapist is a bit much.

Because being creepy and a creep isn't enough to disqualify him?

Women should have higher standards than 'Probably not a rapist'

Seriously.

No never means no. Words may say one thing that clearly contradicts said person's actions. And, like the old proverb goes, actions speak louder than words.

Like what sort of actions? Having a boyfriend that she is happy and content with?

Spoiler

 

[McMullen]

If you're a woman, you should know that your assumption really doesn't help the situation. Try not assuming that men are all creeps. Most just don't know how to talk to you. Partly because they're afraid you think they're creeps.

How is texting an acquaintance you don't really know that well that you're horny NOT creepy? Look, I dunno where you're from, but there's certain things you just don't do, because they are CREEPY. That is CREEPY. The guy did that CREEPY THING. The rational explanation is HE IS CREEPY.

Yes, he's absolutely creepy. But I think assuming he's a rapist is a bit much.

Because being creepy and a creep isn't enough to disqualify him?

Women should have higher standards than 'Probably not a rapist'

Seriously.

No, I didn't say that. I said you assuming he's a rapist is a bit much. For my part, I assume you form similarly extreme conclusions about lots of guys. Basically, nervous people get "upgraded" to creeps, and actual creeps get "upgraded" to rapists in your mind. Or at least, that's the impression I get. This guy is a creep and a loser and the OP is right to not want anything to do with him, as I've said previously on this thread.

 

[Eggsnham]

I don't hang out with him, I've flat-out ignored him in a lot of instances, and I've shot down his offers to even hang out. I'm just sick of him thinking that he's going to "get" anywhere with me when 1) I make it pretty clear I'm not interested 2) I'm already taken and 3) I've made some pretty scathing remarks to him about the shit he says and he brushes it off or forgets it...

You either need to write a big old paragraph to him about how he's not (and never will be) getting anywhere with the shit he's pulling, or just cut off all communication completely.

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

Be very, very clear face to face. I had a female friend like you. I was attracted to her, crushed on her a bit though admittedly not to the extent this guy is with you. I made my feelings clear, face to face. You know what she did? She lead me along. She never gave me a straight answer about how she felt. Not once did she say "no." This went on for about a year. During that time she had three boyfriends, a lot of fuck buddies and she even fucked my best friend.

Did I mention during this time I actually gave up on her romantically? I even asked a few girls out and was turned down, of which she was fully aware. Yet she decided to inexplicably cut all ties with me. Oh and she tried to con £70 out of me. Which didn't work. Why? Well as I heard from my best friend, she thought I was only interested in "getting my dick wet". She never talked about it with me. And I would have told her I felt nothing for her romantically since she'd led me along for a year.

Here's my advice. Meet him face to face. Tell him no very clearly and talk to him about a neutral friendship. Otherwise just stop interacting with him. Because I have been that lonely guy in the past. In his own messed up way, you are leading him along and he still believes there's a remote possibility of you two getting together.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

-cut for size-

Ohh so you're not susceptible to reason, you're just relentlessly trying to prove...something, I don't know. I guess you really need this.

For one, if you know full well I didn't in any way mean all, then it isn't all/most is it. It's just: most. The fact that you cannot let slip the fact you tripped up there shows me why you're so butthurt about my post. The funny thing is, I wasn't even claiming what you seem to think I was. You've just got an idea and won't let it out of your head because fuck what I actually say, you must know what I was actually thinking. Well done you fucking mindreader.

Fine whatever, your claim that most men act like that is still unsupported.

And not a single fuck was given that day. I forgot how toxic it was to say anything on The Escapist.

 

[DracoSuave]

No, I didn't say that. I said you assuming he's a rapist is a bit much.

If it's a bit much, why are you the first person to mention it?

For my part, I assume you form similarly extreme conclusions about lots of guys. Basically, nervous people get "upgraded" to creeps, and actual creeps get "upgraded" to rapists in your mind.

And this is the point where I "upgrade" you to delusional because you're trying to reading things I never actually said and using that to make assumptions as to what I could be thinking.

Or at least, that's the impression I get. This guy is a creep and a loser and the OP is right to not want anything to do with him, as I've said previously on this thread.

Be very, very clear face to face. I had a female friend like you. I was attracted to her, crushed on her a bit though admittedly not to the extent this guy is with you. I made my feelings clear, face to face. You know what she did? She lead me along. She never gave me a straight answer about how she felt. Not once did she say "no." This went on for about a year. During that time she had three boyfriends, a lot of fuck buddies and she even fucked my best friend.

If any story involving being lead on involves an about of time spanning twelve months during which she's had multiple relationships and sexual partners... I hate to say this...

She wasn't leading you on. You were leading you on. This is ENTIRELY on yourself.


The rest of your post is just more of this self-pitying nonsense, so I'm going to ask you straight out.

Did she, at any time during that year, state that she wanted you as a boyfriend, ask you out, touch your dick, lick your ear, or do anything sexual or romantic as an indication of her desires? No.

Cause [n]THAT IS LEADING SOMEONE ON.[/b]

Fact is, yeah, she might not be brave enough to say 'Look, you're being a bit creepy' or 'Hey, no, nothing is ever going to happen' because maybe she doesn't want to hurt you, especially if you're emotionally vulnerable.

But let's be absolutely clear... unless she is propositioning you then turning you away, she is not actually leading you on. You're just being clingy. There's a huge difference.

 

[surg3n]

A man can only be friends with a woman if he doesn't find her attractive.

Period.

That's utter BS. People like you need to learn that your inability to keep sex out of things doesn't extend to everyone.

It's human nature, people like you need to look at the big picture and realise that sex is a constant, it affects everything humans do.

Your proof is where? You say it's human nature, I say it's you mistaking your own messed up nature for everyone else's

Next time you meet a group of mixed sex friends, why not ask them how many of them have hooked up with each other.

Hahahahaha, none of my female friends have hooked up with my male friends. Furthermore having a few female friends I find attractive puts a big dent in your pseudo-psychology. Also having a friend who has female friends I'm pretty sure he finds attractive puts yet another dent in it.

The truth is that being attracted isn't even an issue a lot of the time, often availability is the only real deciding factor.

Because you say so. As if you have anything to back your word up but your personal experience, when all that suggests is that it's about you and not the world.

I'm not saying its a good thing, scientists could learn a lot about early man by studying groups of friends drinking together.

Yeah, right. Scientists, unlike you, know what they're doing. They don't make stupid tests where they pretend culture doesn't make a difference.

If you did a cross reference of me and my friends when I was a teenager, well it'd look like a game of Kerplunk.

Which points at... A) The whole world being as you say or B) You associating with people who are messed up about sex like you are? I'd say B. Because quite frankly I imagine people like me, who aren't all about sex 24/7 with whatever female they find remotely attractive, are not going to be friends with people like you.

I'm just being honest, which might not be a wise choice on a forum like this... but you are the one calling me out, you are referring to 'people like me', as if somehow my opinion is void because I'm not a typical escapist Aesexual. You have me pegged as some sex pest because of stuff I remotely mentioned I did as a teenager. I'm guessing your teen years have been pretty uneventful so far.

Really though, I am careful about the term 'friend' - see a friend should be someone you are really close to, not just a list on facebook. Have you actually read the OP?, it tends to end badly in every situation I know of, it ends badly in the OP situation, it ended badly for every creep and stalker out there seething at the world. Chemistry always gets in the way, it becomes awkward, are you saying you don't know anyone who has experienced this?

This might be my opinion, but it's just as valid as your trollish garbage you like to post, your opinion that my opinion is worthless, is somehow more valid - just how arrogant are you!.

 

[NLS]

And he doesn't even have a car? Geez, stay clear, boys without cars might be dangerous.

 

[SilentCom]

I think your guy friend is jealous of your boyfriend.

 

[DementedSheep]

I had something similar last year at uni. There was a guy who kept following me, he stared at me in class, he barely knew me but apparently was ?madly in love with me? tho I know he'd done this to other girls previoulsy. He whined about everything, kept going on about how his parents don?t hug him, spouted out lovely statements like ?do you ever think about just killing everyone?? and kept pulling the suicide card probably hoping for a pity date. I kept telling him I wasn?t interested but he wouldn?t stop. I supose my mistake was not being a complete dick to him at the start. It got to the point where I was skipping classes just to avoid him and I had to be rude to him and tell to fuck off (which is major to me, I?m only rude to people I know lol) but even that didn?t work and then at the end of the year got he accused of ?leading him on? despite the fact that he kept coming up to me not the other way around, I told him no right of the bat and was as clear as possible that I wasn?t interested and after the first few weeks didn?t even want to talk to him.
Several of my friends have encountered the same sort of thing more than once. Especially ?you lead me on?, apparently in order to not lead a guy on you need to punch him in the face as soon as he opens his mouth or then are you just ?playing hard to get??
BUT guys I know and some of my friends who are bi have also had the same thing from girls. It seems to happen allot. I hope this is only a teenager thing.

 

[CODE-D]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Edit: Yea I know not all guys are like this, just when some of them do I'm completely unable to grasp as to why they think crap like this will work in their favor.

Edit 2: Thread's done, I deleted the guy from Facebook and am never going to associate with him again. Apparently he pulled shit like this on people before, I just wasn't in the loop to hear about it. The end.

But one of my guy friends + I'm not very close with this guy at all = Im confused as well

Maybe your leading him on by being too nice?

 

[surg3n]

I'm fascinated Fagotto, did you read the OP?, and what advice would you have for her?

 

[DracoSuave]

Maybe your leading him on by being too nice?

Being nice to someone isn't leading them on. It's being nice to someone.

Leading someone on requires actual flirtation and intention. This bullshit 'leading someone on' crap is self-delusional misogyny that's literally the same logical format as 'she showed her belly so she must want to be raped.'

It's the guy leading himself on with delusions of mediocrity. Nothing more. Stop blaming women for boys' self-inflicted miseries.

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

 

[CODE-D]

Maybe your leading him on by being too nice?

Being nice to someone isn't leading them on. It's being nice to someone.

Leading someone on requires actual flirtation and intention. This bullshit 'leading someone on' crap is self-delusional misogyny that's literally the same logical format as 'she showed her belly so she must want to be raped.'

It's the guy leading himself on with delusions of mediocrity. Nothing more. Stop blaming women for boys' self-inflicted miseries.

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

I implied that with too nice
Calm. The. Floop. Down. Child.

 

[DracoSuave]

I implied that with too nice
Calm. The. Floop. Down. Child.

In a thread where people are seriously suggesting that, it's really hard to find the sarcasm.

 

[zama174]

Snip

Hm.. Thought my sarcasm was heavy enough.. Guess not.. Gotta work on that huh? Anyway yes you are right, but at the same time this guy is exhibiting a lot of personality traits that aren't good for ANY kind of relationship. He is super clingy, he has shown that he is unwilling to really accept things for as they are, and right now while he is in the stage of denial he could very well pose some sort of harm to the OP. Maybe not physical harm, but some mental and social issues may very well crop up because of his inability to process a harsh reality.