- Sex/Gender Problems
- Thread starter Spoonius
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I despise gender roles period. Why does being born with testicles denote any kind of expectations towards how I should act or what I take interest in?
Well to be fair, from the male perspective monthly genital bleeding is a rather terrifying idea[footnote]that was a joke, please don't hit me.[/footnote].Erana said:
OT: I dislike the idea that men have to make every single move when it comes to starting relationships and are at times expected to make decisions for a woman. To me that sounds like you're dealing with some sort of child and as such would make me feel a bit like a paedophile.
I fully expect my partners to make their own decisions and ask if they need help with it, and if they really want me they sure as hell can come and get me.
I'm a guy. That being said, I don't think it should matter what my gender is when I say this. I think men and women should be completely equal. In all aspects. If someone makes a joke, deal with it. If someone holds a door open, just say thank you: no one wants to hear about how 'independent' you are, male or female. Period. Completely equal means completely equal. But, if either gender wants special treatment, it comes at a cost.I_am_a_Spoon said:
Born and raised there, ha ha. Left some years ago. Gender roles where men are expected to be the provider and protector are still around. And very strong. You have no clue what you're talking about, man. My girlfriend and I pay for ourselves or alternate who pays on dates and visits (long distance). Last time I visited her, she payed for everything for the entire week. As I had done several weeks before. When I did it, most of my friends and co-workers saw it as sweet and kind of me. When she did it, I was being a bum. A freeloader. I should have been the one to pay, several said.retyopy said:
The expectation of a man to be a provider, though lessened, is still around. And you are plain wrong or blind if you think otherwise. Just yesterday we had a poll about who should pay on dates. Look at this forum. Look at feminists. As long as things like this are being created, then the problem is still there. I am confronted with it often.
BabyRaptor said:
Pansexual transwoman here, if you two don't want em, donate to a good cause (If only they could do that eh?)
On topic: As someone who's had to deal with gender issues all my life (In being a transsexual) As well as being afforded a very unique view on the subject, coupled with some pretty logical areas of thought. Gender really is a societal construct really, the only major reason that most of the gender stereotypes/expectations even exist, is to control the people it influences.
There's glaring examples of this all over the place, I mean, look at Axe/Lynx ads, or beer ads that are aimed at men, making it out to mean that they're manlier men if they use/consume the product(s) This fear of men appearing feminine is compounded by that sort of advertising. Look at how prevalent this is online, all the kids calling each other homophobic/feminine names and the like, in an attempt to use feminine qualities as an insult. This didn't exist in such levels in the past.
It's not just the guys who are victims either. For example, 70% of women aren't able to correctly identify the parts that make up their own genitalia. This is a result of the constant sexism, and shunning of female sexuality. Women are told from a very young age that their bits are dirty, and wrong. Later on in life, they're told that being sexual in any sort of manner is wrong, and they're bad people for even thinking it.
Basically, if the concept of gender, and gender norms never existed, we'd all be able to freely express ourselves as we'd like, and not be ridiculed for it
I'd go on with more examples... and how sexism/gender inequality has actually led to homophobia/transphobia... But it's just too damn hot, and I may of just made my first drunk post... I think I did well
Don't bother, take the anthropologist's approach to the subject; gender isn't fixed and everyone assigns their gender fluidly during the course of the day. Gender isn't Male or Female but what gender roles a person observers and which ones they ignore from the giant grey pool of male, female, and special case societal expectations. Sex = Male/Female/Intersexed. Gender = "Whatever I damn well please at the time." It makes life so much easier, why people use the psychologist's definition of gender (Male-Female duality) is beyond me.TheDarkEricDraven said:
As for being a male (Sex), kind of just roll with it so can't complain too much. Not gay myself but yeah, people need to get over that as being different.
Same here, well said. The period thing is a negligible factor of my life, too. Rarely any symptoms and no noticeable hormonal differences that so many people assume to be a fate worse than death.Erana said:
I don't know, yeah sure it's not nice to expect stuff from people based on their sex and their are some pretty ugly stereotypes, but you have to admit there are certain biological factors that create generalities. Like men being more aggressive, not unanimously true, but generally true.
And some people get to worked up about gender roles. A nursery in Sweden specially color code everything, and make kids play so that nothing encourages gender roles, and every book in there has a moral lesson about accepting homosexuality. So while Sweden is worried about whether their child watches as much My Little Pony as Bob the Builder, I think I'll worry about whether my child has integrity, responsibility and life skills. If you give a boy a barbie to play with at a young uninfluenced open minded age he will bend it over and use it as a gun. True story.
And some people get to worked up about gender roles. A nursery in Sweden specially color code everything, and make kids play so that nothing encourages gender roles, and every book in there has a moral lesson about accepting homosexuality. So while Sweden is worried about whether their child watches as much My Little Pony as Bob the Builder, I think I'll worry about whether my child has integrity, responsibility and life skills. If you give a boy a barbie to play with at a young uninfluenced open minded age he will bend it over and use it as a gun. True story.
I don't have so much of a problem with stereotypes imposed on my gender, I just ignore them.
What does bother me is that 80% of the high school/college population is so overtly sexual. It's already difficult enough to find a good relationship without everyone else only caring about sex.
What does bother me is that 80% of the high school/college population is so overtly sexual. It's already difficult enough to find a good relationship without everyone else only caring about sex.
I hate HATE being expected to automatically love and coo over babies at the first sight of them. I fucking hate babies with a passion. I also hate having periods, childbirth, and the notion that when I find someone I love, I will want to have their baby.
On the other hand, I can have 5 orgasms in under 5 minutes.
I suppose it all balances out.
On the other hand, I can have 5 orgasms in under 5 minutes.
I suppose it all balances out.
FOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAALLLLLL.
It's starting to really piss me off. Top Tip: A Good Way to break the ice is to just say 'Hey, I'm , you?', not grunt 'So who do yer support?', because all males obviously love football. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to say 'I don't support anyone. I find Football to be a Stupid, Pointless, overly-glorified Past-time and do not want any part in it.'
Also this thing about 'Going with someone' and 'Shifting Someone' and Heading out to Clubs. It's really, really horrid to me. I don't WANT to shove my tongue down a Stranger's throat in the Toilet or Alley of some Club. Is it so wrong to want some sort of relationship at Fifteen? Nothing major, but something substantial at least? Apparently so. 'Ye'll shove yer tongue down a stranger's throat and ye'll like it because yer fifteen an' that's all ye can get.'
That second one is really more just generally here in Ireland in retrospect, sorry. =| Leaving it in anyway.
It's starting to really piss me off. Top Tip: A Good Way to break the ice is to just say 'Hey, I'm , you?', not grunt 'So who do yer support?', because all males obviously love football. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to say 'I don't support anyone. I find Football to be a Stupid, Pointless, overly-glorified Past-time and do not want any part in it.'
Also this thing about 'Going with someone' and 'Shifting Someone' and Heading out to Clubs. It's really, really horrid to me. I don't WANT to shove my tongue down a Stranger's throat in the Toilet or Alley of some Club. Is it so wrong to want some sort of relationship at Fifteen? Nothing major, but something substantial at least? Apparently so. 'Ye'll shove yer tongue down a stranger's throat and ye'll like it because yer fifteen an' that's all ye can get.'
That second one is really more just generally here in Ireland in retrospect, sorry. =| Leaving it in anyway.
Oh this so much. I am a pacifist. Sure I dream constantly about brutally murdering Bob Mugabe and the like, but when it comes down to it I can't hurt very much without feeling guilty. In karate I don't get angry when I fight. Ever. I am not aggressive, I don't insult unnecessarily, and I really don't want to injure anyone. If it isn't an ant, wasp or venomous arachnid, I see no reason for conflict.TheGoldenMan said:
And I don't like sport, that gets some looks. I don't watch it or play it, apparently I am not a human male...
the only thing that still bothers me is the amount of sexism in the workplace. Yeah technically it is illegal but it is so overlooked and understated now it is hard to prove. Like the catch-22 I am stuck in. I need 4 months on the job experience to get my ASE certifications to become a mechanic so i can work on cars which I love doing. Or well a grease monkey is more appropriate. However I'm told by EVERY shop out here that I have to have the certifications to work ANYWHERE in the shop even just answering the phones. However if I were male I wouldn't be having this problem. However it isn't enough to prove sexism in the eyes of the law.
A LOT of girls expect men to make the first move. What if we don't want to make the first move? Some of us are pretty shy, and could need some help opening up... Plus, you girls are so mysterious. How are we supposed to know that you like us? That you bat your eyelashes? Need more than that, sorry.
My issue is that people are still believing in all the stupid stereotype of what makes a man or a woman, what they should do in situations down to what colors that should like and what foods they should eat, who should earn more and all that other crap
there are no real flaws in either gender other than the mind set and restrictions they choose to believe
there are no real flaws in either gender other than the mind set and restrictions they choose to believe
Well, I'll start off by saying that I like being able to pee standing up. That's just nice. There isn't all that much I dislike about being male, though that's probably because being at university exposes me to a wide variety of people from every/most gender-sex combinations, which means that while there are 'manly men', 'gym junkies', and 'weekend clubbers', there are also 'sissy guys', 'empathetic guys', 'gamer guys', 'socially awkward guys', 'hilariously crazy and abnormal guys', etc. That's not even starting on the girls.
I'd imagine that in a few years time, when I leave university, I'll be in a much smaller and concentrated demographic, and whatever group I end up lumped with will annoy me to no end simply because they are so gender-restricted.
I'd imagine that in a few years time, when I leave university, I'll be in a much smaller and concentrated demographic, and whatever group I end up lumped with will annoy me to no end simply because they are so gender-restricted.
I'm quite surprised no male has mentioned getting hit in the bollocks*, as that is top of my list followed a close second by the assumption that I'm trying to get into the pants of any woman I talk to.
* If someone has already mentioned this I apologise for my oversight
* If someone has already mentioned this I apologise for my oversight
