Sexual Preference = Racism?

[ThatTallGuy]

I was having a discussion with my on-and-off girlfriend. We're currently off because she's going to be in another state for at least a year, and we don't want to deal with the long-distance relationship because we've both had bad experiences with them.

But anyway, I mentioned that I'm not initially sexually attracted to black women, but after getting to know someone better, I can be attracted to anyone. She accuses me of blatantly being racist and equates it to if I were an employer, I wouldn't give a black person the same chance as someone of any other race. I tried to explain my point, but because this was a conversation over the internet, neither of us could convey the true meaning of our words.

There's much from the conversation that I've left out here. I could go into further details upon request. I just don't see how my initial sexual attraction is the same as me being a racist, and this didn't seem to me to be a very big issue, but one of my major flaws is that I can't let a conversation just end, because I feel it has to have some sort of resolution.

I know this is hardly the kind of conversation to have at four in the morning, and I probably shouldn't have said anything. I just fear I may have lost my greatest friend forever.

I know we're probably both blowing the whole thing way out of proportion, but what are your views on the subject?

 

[JediMB]

Sexual attraction is not a choice. It's like accusing a man of being a male chauvinist because he's gay.

 

[Xiorell]

I aint racist at all but I just don't find black women attractive at all. I like pale skin and dark hair /end

It's not racist it's just like some people really like say, blonde and some like brunette sometimes to the point anything other than that doesn't get a look in. Like to me blonde women are more or less invisible in a sexual attraction way, nothing against them, just doesn't float my boat. Same thing.

 

[Tdc2182]

Well, I dated a really cute black girl so I have no idea. I really have no preference. My friends joke that I have dated every race, so next will be albino. Is albino white?

 

[Danallighieri]

Everyone has their preferences, and no matter what to a certain degree we are all shallow and judge whether someone is attractive or not straight off the boat, so it's not really racism

 

[Jack_Uzi]

I understand your point there. But I don't think it's racism. It's just a bit of natural instinct to keep humans walking around on this earth. Racism in the other context, sometimes doesn't want other people walking around on this earth and is not really instinct but created by environment.

 

[JediMB]

Well, I dated a really cute black girl so I have no idea. I really have no preference. My friends joke that I have dated every race, so next will be albino. Is albino white?

Technically albino is a lack of pigment, so it's no color at all.

But now I'm genuinely curious about if there are any albino "black" people out there.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Its understandable not being initially attracted to someone with a different skin colour. Most people will find that they tend to be physically attracted to people of the same racial background. BUT personallity can have a huge roll in attraction.

Personally as a white person I am more attracted by white women, But I am not turned off by black women. But if I had a choice, between the two, I would choose a white woman every time. I dont see this as racism. Although im sure if I my self was black I would prefere black women.

P.S. yes it is too early

 

[Vigilantis]

Uhm...from what I get from this I'm basically the same, my preferred CHOICE would not be with a African-decent woman, however I am sure that given the right girl I could, but thats just personal preference in well...looks, not to say I am racist and that I would not give an African the same chance I would to a Caucasian, Asian, or Middle Eastern person in a work place. A side thought may be that the things you find attracted to are uncommon in the specific race, for example I personally like green eyes and natural straight blonde hair...which to my knowledge is uncommon in Africans (again to my knowledge based on what I have seen in my everyday life) It all boils down to what you find attractive not that you are racist.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

No and this person is stupid. As some people like fat people some people like skinny people. Others have a race preference Asian, Black, White or whatever. You sexual preference or your type does not have anything to do with you being racist. For all anyone could know there could be someone who hispanic women/men really raise their flag pole but still think that all Spainish are lazy or something like that. So no if you don't find yourself attracted to balck women initially does not make you racist.

 

[BonsaiK]

what are your views on the subject?

It's not something that you can really help. Either you're attracted to someone or you're not, for whatever reason. For instance, I'm not attracted to really skinny girls. Doesn't mean that I'd deny them a job opportunity, just that they don't do it for me sexually. I'm not going to let them into my bedroom anyway just to be a nice person, there would be no point. It's not a lot different to preferring strawberry icecream instead of chocolate, or vice versa. Don't feel bad about it, but maybe don't try and have conversations about this issue on the internet...

 

[fletch_talon]

Being attracted to a specific race (or not) is no more racist than being attracted to women (or not) is sexist.

If you like a specific body type you're unlikely to be attracted to a race which is unlikely to have that body type. Asian's are often short, so someone who's attracted to tall blondes won't generally find Asian's attractive. etc.

 

[itsnotyouitsme]

Right... here's a good thought. I'm not attracted to men at first sight but I'm sure I'd hire one regardless of their gender. In the end it's all the same.

 

[Double A]

I was having a discussion with my on-and-off girlfriend. We're currently off because she's going to be in another state for at least a year, and we don't want to deal with the long-distance relationship because we've both had bad experiences with them.

But anyway, I mentioned that I'm not initially sexually attracted to black women, but after getting to know someone better, I can be attracted to anyone. She accuses me of blatantly being racist and equates it to if I were an employer, I wouldn't give a black person the same chance as someone of any other race. I tried to explain my point, but because this was a conversation over the internet, neither of us could convey the true meaning of our words.

There's much from the conversation that I've left out here. I could go into further details upon request. I just don't see how my initial sexual attraction is the same as me being a racist, and this didn't seem to me to be a very big issue, but one of my major flaws is that I can't let a conversation just end, because I feel it has to have some sort of resolution.

I know this is hardly the kind of conversation to have at four in the morning, and I probably shouldn't have said anything. I just fear I may have lost my greatest friend forever.

I know we're probably both blowing the whole thing way out of proportion, but what are your views on the subject?

Dude, your avatar is the Green Lantern symbol, how can you be racist towards black or white people? Yellow people, though, that's another story...

Anyway, I don't think you're being racist. I think it's only natural to be attracted to the same skin tones at first, because it's more of the same, which is comforting. However, the only way you'll resolve this is if you talk to her in person.

... or a webcam.

 

[Tharwen]

It's entirely natural to only be attracted to people that you subconsciously view as being part of your community. We naturally view people of different races as outsiders unless we were brought up in regular contact with them, and because of this, we subconsciously think of them differently to people of our own race.

 

[Tharwen]

It's entirely natural to only be attracted to people that you subconsciously view as being part of your community. We naturally view people of different races as outsiders unless we were brought up in regular contact with them, and because of this, we subconsciously think of them differently to people of our own race.

How does race = community? I'm white, I like all races (not like that, you perv), but I hate my community.

When our species was evolving, we stuck together in little groups which would have all looked similar and would have been naturally wary of any outsiders. That's what I meant by community.

 

[Simalacrum]

There does appear to be a preference for both men and women to, generally speaking, go out with the people of the same colour... There's nothing wrong with that, since nobody seems offended by it. Racism is only really serious when someone is offended or hurt from the opinion, and there's nothing you can do about sexual preference, after all... My ex was black, but before that I was always attracted to white/asian people, and there's nothing wrong with that.