Shelby Knox Wants Duke Nukem Forever Out of Walmart

[Kenko]

I always love how when theres a hint of sex in something- people lose their shit and talk about all the think-of-the-children stuff.

Sexual repression, wahey!

Only in Amerrikuh! Genocide and gorey reprobate violence is okay! But a slap on the ass and tits is takin it too far!

 

[MadCapMunchkin]

Wait, so banning it from Wal-Mart's going to have an impact on its sales? That's funny, considering I don't buy any of my games from Wal-Mart and I don't know anyone in my immediate area who does.

 

[Mechsoap]

Ha! That gave me a good laugh!

I doubt banning it from Wal-mart will have any major effect.

 

[UnderCoverGuest]

The Capture the Babe mode of the Duke Nukem game, which will be played primarily by young people, sends--

STOP. RIGHT. THERE.

MATURE RATING. GET THOSE DAMNED PRE-PUBESCENT, ADOLECENT KIDS OUT OF THE ROOM. THIS IS A GAME FOR REAL MEN. In that real men are mature adults who understand this sort of thing is purely for the sake of virtual entertainment, and in no way reflects the social behaviors one should endeavor to apply in the real world.

I like putting kneecappers on a military APC and riding it through the streets honking the horn and firing the top-mounted machine-gun to the tune of Hall of the Mountain King, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I THINK IT'S RIGHT TO DO IN REAL LIFE.

Now, it's great to look to Duke Nukem's bravery and strength for inspiration, but we mature adults ought to know that Duke is a fantasy character in a fantasy environment, and that taking life lessons from his existence is on par with going into a jewelry store, choking the jeweler to death, and stealing all the golden wedding bands while proclaiming Gollum told you to do it while you were watching Lord of the Rings. IT NEEDS THE PRECIOUS.

Don't forget, folks who buy Duke from Walmart get that badass Duke Nukem hat. Or did they pull that as well, because it represents southern-truckers who beat their wives and drink beer while driving?

Bah, nevermind. One single bloody forum post on a forum of a thousand or so forum posters on a forum that no single bloody post will probably ever penetrate the skulls of those folks who ride around on rent-a-white-horses thinking they know best for everyone. Slap a messa--haaaa, sorry, lemme try that again--PUT a message on the back of the game box saying 'some sexism may be seen during gameplay', and let it go already. Instead of attacking the developers, attack the retail outlet that isn't enforcing the rating system. Attack the parents who aren't properly supervising their children, and ensuring that they -don't- reenact the [pathetically hilarious and subpar] Russian Airport Shootout level from Modern Warfare 2. Advocate proper parenting, community gathering in order to explore the concept of video games and their content, in order to properly determine which games children should or shouldn't have...

...actually, yeah, it would be easier just to complain to a store and tell them not to sell it in the first place. My bad. Guess I should have realized they're uncreative PUSSIES. BWAHAHA. Besides, there's a point. If the game is sold at Walmart, plenty of kids will buy and steal the game, the little #*%@#'s. Go ahead, take it off Walmart's shelves so that only real adults can buy the game by ordering it or something.

Besides, the last CD's I bought from Walmart were defective, I never go there for electronics and stuff anyways. Now I'm going to go find where I dropped my brain when I started reading that article.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

?foor eht hguorht selas FND evird dna tramlaW truh lliw siht taht ees yeht t'naC

?yeht dluow ,etah yeht gnihtemos gnitomorp otni troffe hcum taht tup dluow eno-oN ?ti t'nsi looF lirpA na si sihT

I can begin by agreeing with all of this.

Then I can move on to say that I hope that Shelby Knox learns that the way to show a company that you will not stand for a product of theirs... because of the opinions they seem to stand for... in your opinion... is to not buy the product. Trying to get them banned, on the other hand is censorship and unamerican as dirty political tactics goes, because you are literally trying to shape art by attacking a person's wallet.

The Penny Arcade argument is a bad one.

Shooting enemy soldiers you are in a war against is not murder.

In fact if some people did complain that you killed people in a war game and called it murder I bet you Penny Arcade would mock them mercilessly (and they'd be in the right for doing so).

I'm pretty sure Gabe is being facetious here, using his own absurdity to expose the Tycho's equally absurd reaction to this nugget of info.

Really, the point they wanted to make might have been better off with Twisp and Catsby.

 

[Vakz]

okay, Ill just get it from Hastings, Game Stop, EBGames, Best Buy, and Game Bro's., gee, who would of thought removing a game form WALMART would cause such an impact, good thing we have these social commentators to set us idiots straight, right?

I live in Sweden. I've never even seen a Walmart. If not for the internet, I probably would never have heard of it. Is Walmart actually a place where people buy games? I've always figured it was just yet another supermarket.

 

[Jacksaw Jack]

Shelby Knox /ignore

Now play nice with Jack Thompson, nobody pays him any heed either.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Nah, can't be bothered to argue semantics.

 

[RamirezDoEverything]

[sub]I guarantee that this Shelby Knox is a *****[/sub]

Well, here we go again ladies and gentlemen. Yet another person who thinks women are treated like 1830 slaves in Alabama. I just don't understand, women have everything equal in society(at least in America), and get quite a few breaks(as I'm sure alot of gentlemen would agree). And they don't even have to sign up for the draft!

Ladies, your rights have been secured, and I respect you as an individual, equal human.

But that doesn't mean I can't ogle the ones that are half naked.

 

[ImperialSunlight]

If there was a game that had a woman doing these things to men would she do the same for it?
Didn't think so.

 

[alandavidson]

I can see how slapping a female in the ass would be offensive to a lot of people. It gives me pause, if that's worth anything.

I understand that Duke is a mockery of hyper-masculinity, but this may be over the line. I'd like to see gameplay footage before making a decision though.

 

[Senaro]

?foor eht hguorht selas FND evird dna tramlaW truh lliw siht taht ees yeht t'naC

?yeht dluow ,etah yeht gnihtemos gnitomorp otni troffe hcum taht tup dluow eno-oN ?ti t'nsi looF lirpA na si sihT

Exactly what I thought of the moment I saw this article. People need to get their priorities straight.

 

[DayDark]

I hope knox will be featured in Capture the babe!

 

[Doom972]

I don't understand how things work in the US. Is it really that much of a threat that the game won't be available at Walmart? There are many other stores and also Steam.

 

[ultratog1028]

Well, don't let her see Grand Theft Auto in that case...

 

[ultratog1028]

I don't understand how things work in the US. Is it really that much of a threat that the game won't be available at Walmart? There are many other stores and also Steam.

No it isn't a big deal at all in the US. It wouldn't do anything but give more media attention to the game. In the Video game industry, any contorversial attention is good attention.

 

[MorphingDragon]

I love how Pritchford seems thoroughly oblivious to the fact that "a love slap on the booty" is if anything more condescending.
This is a game which should never have seen the light of day. If its development gestation of nearly 15 years is proof of anything, that is it.

That said, I think petitions and the like is the wrong approach in applying criticism. Not to mention silly.
Don't get me wrong, I think Duke Nukem has always been a neanderthal exercise in the most base and worthless qualities of this medium, but I won't deny it the right to be base and worthless.
It can fester in its own infantile corner, and I'll just pretend it never existed.
Those who are actually interested in the tripe get to satisfy some absurd desire to revisit a severely aged concept, and the rest of us can live our lives blissfully unawares.
Win-win?

You're either trolling or have no clue what Satire is when it literally slaps you on the bottom. ;P