Skills/abilities that you can't put on your CV/resume.

[CrimsonBlaze]

Let's see...
> Heighten senses (heighten, not enhanced. Seriously, I keep asking people, "You didn't see/hear/smell that?" Kinda annoying.)
> Cool down stamina (The more exhausted I become, the better I perform physical tasks)
> Dream traverse (I don't always dream and when I do, I am fully aware of the dream and can alter it as I please. Though my subconsciousness can get a little out of hand...)
> Instant serenity (can ignore all conflict and drama to go about my day in peace)
> Lucky draw/picks (get favorable draws/picks for activities that call for it)
> Complete control of body (if I feel sick, I can relax my body and do away with a sudden illness through will-power alone)
> I can recall my earliest memories when I was a baby (for some reason they are in black and white (?))

Yeah, not a really impressive pool of skills, but I am who I am.

 

[Kadoodle]

I can twist both my feet around ~140 degrees and stand with my feet pointing backwards, and I can twitch my eyes like I'm the Antichrist having a seizure.


I'm also really good at fapping.

 

[Jyggalag-]

Terran Macro Master

Isn't general community opinion right now that "Terran Macro Master" is about as difficult to achieve as performing auto-vehicular homicide with a monster truck?

 

[crudus]

people manipulation
Good at lying
Balisong expertise
Juggling
Good at googling things
Texting speed (and while driving!)

I can write backwards, meaning going from write to left and it can be read normally when look in in a mirror or read through the back of the paper.
Edit- I can also read upside-down and backwards.

Are you reading from Da Vinci's resume or can you actually do that?

understanding of chemistry that involves Styrofoam

Napalm?

 

[Harbinger_]

I have the ability to bend my thumb back to touch my wrist.
I'm excellent at going down on a girl.
I'm an awesome Magic player.
I'm skilled at talking people out of doing stupid things.
I can often predict when something bad is going to happen.

And most importantly of all I am skilled at finding Diamond Veins in Mincraft.

 

[Disanthrophobia]

i can recite all the Halo 1 cutscenes as well as the spawns of every weapon and enemy on the first five levels. (i maaaaay have played that game a lot)

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Cab throw a knife
have 100 hours in a mech simulator(steel battalion)
can chug any liquid except regular beer in gallon amounts

 

[Radelaide]

I can stick my tongue up my nose would be the major one.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

i'm quite good at arranging music! it's a skill i'll never use again, but i rock at it.

 

[Sly13]

well i can
-follow without being noticed, so stalking
-Steal many things and get away unseen
-planning , tactics and the sort
-doing stupid things while on camera, this could be a flaw and not a skill
all in all I'm fairly ...Sly

 

[Particulate]

I've been target shooting with pistols and rifles for the last decade and have been attending and winning 3-gun competitions for the last three years.

I know a lot about Chemistry but it's mostly self taught.

I spent a year volunteering at a farm specifically as a dog handler.

These are all semi-useful skills but they don't matter much because I'm sitting on a Fashion Degree. In today's market "Self Taught" and Hobbies mean nothing compared to actual degrees and experience in related fields.


Which is why I started my own business

#andnotasinglefuckwasgiven

 

[katsumoto03]

My Tumblr account... I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM

 

[Signa]

I don't have much to add, so I'll just post this snippet from a friend's resume.

* I am a human being
* I enjoy activities related to the general state of being human
* I am a pensive overanalytic human with too much ambition

I wish I was making this up. It took him 3 days to write this, and we almost hid his DS on him just to try to give some motivation. Needless to say, he didn't find a job.

 

[Veldel]

Making up a lie on the spot for humur and make it seem seriues and belivable

Hightened sense of smell and hearing

Good at playing games

 

[mooncalf]

I can throw/spin a door end for end and catch it again safely.
A good one I think!

 

[sgtslacker]

Excellent Liar
Awesome SC2 Player
Musical Talent (No one wants to hear I'm good at playing instruments unless its a job targeted towards that.

 

[Nickompoop]

I know how to hack an arphid, but I lack the equipment to do so, so I've never done it. Other than that, I don't really have any special ability similar to your list. Shit, I need to teach myself something, even if it's just Python...

Oh! I got one! While I'm terrible at learning names, once I get the name in question down, I'll never, ever forget it. Some people get pretty freaked out about that, for some reason.

 

[mikeybuthge]

I've successfully one-punched everyone that I've fought, when drunk I have superhuman balance and navigation skills, and, I can cook a masterful hamburger.

 

[Blue Hero]

Only have one testicle so don't mind working with angry feminists.