Slightly twisted things you find in games...

[Kikosemmek]

In Blood 2, was it? There was a part early in the game right after you get off the initial rooms, you're walking through dark corridors of flickering lights inside this one building, and there it is:

A laundry machine with a human coprse inside of it, still spinning, grinding the body. You can only see the legs and lower torso sticking out from the top of the machine, with blood leaking from it.

It's gruesome, grotesque, and awesome.

 

[Kellsan]

GTA, any one of them: once you do something to make your wanted level at 2 stars or above, not only to the cops immediately begin swarming you, but they know exactly where you are at all times, no matter how many choppers you blow up or how fast you hide in a populated area.
If the cops in real life were that efficient, crime would no longer be an issue, also I know American cops have a reputation for being a bit trigger happy but COME ON! they take one look at you and instantly know your up to no good and its out with the guns and cap your arse.

On the issue of GTA cops: you can leave a trail of destruction behind you to make 9/11 look like a bike accident, but one trip to your house/church/star on the ground, what have you, and the army of law enforcement personnel go "huh? thats odd, why are we bothering this nice innocent guy?" and leave.

 

[TheFishIsSad]

The fact that no one cares that you've just come into their house, looked through all their cabinets and then struck up a conversation with their five year old daughter.

If I made an RPG:
-People would actually wonder what the hell you're doing in their house
-If you refused to leave, they'd get the police on you
-If you stole something from someone's house, the police would be alerted
-Bosses wouldn't screw around with their first forms; if I could turn intoa six-winged
behemoth with two heads that could breathe fire and shoot lasers out of its eyes, had a
huge claw on its arm and could summon demonic beings to fight for me, I doubt I'd spend
much time fighting as a human.
-Also, why are all the protagonists teens to mid twenties? Auron was around thirtiesh,
but there was Tellah. But he died really quickly.
-And another thing, why the hell can't characters like Tellah, Galuf, Aerith and that
have a phoenix down used on them? It's the same with RedXIII's dad, just use a bloody
soft on him!

*end rant*

 

[Chilango2]

The fact that no one cares that you've just come into their house, looked through all their cabinets and then struck up a conversation with their five year old daughter.

If I made an RPG:
-People would actually wonder what the hell you're doing in their house
-If you refused to leave, they'd get the police on you
-If you stole something from someone's house, the police would be alerted
-Bosses wouldn't screw around with their first forms; if I could turn intoa six-winged
behemoth with two heads that could breathe fire and shoot lasers out of its eyes, had a
huge claw on its arm and could summon demonic beings to fight for me, I doubt I'd spend
much time fighting as a human.
-Also, why are all the protagonists teens to mid twenties? Auron was around thirtiesh,
but there was Tellah. But he died really quickly.
-And another thing, why the hell can't characters like Tellah, Galuf, Aerith and that
have a phoenix down used on them? It's the same with RedXIII's dad, just use a bloody
soft on him!

*end rant*

So, you want games to be stupidly hard, want gamers to pointlessly waste time "knocking on the door" of strangers and awkwardly introduce themselves and discuss the questions they have, and you want all the more boring consequence aspects of your actions to be carried out, but apparently, none of the good aspects that also don't make it through. (for instance, by the end of the game, its usually clear the fate of the world relies on you. But the merchants don't give you a discount. Very strange.)

Boss forms, well, part of the point there is to let you warm up a bit, I supposse, or force you to use diffrent strategies for one battle. But I suppose that's boring as well?

So, let's envision, our heroes trek:
1) They will go from town to town, stopping to ask random strangers in the town square where what they are looking for is. The houses will likely be unexplorable. Too bad if someone who has critical information is at home and doesn't feel like talking. No plot hints for you!

2) Everything you have is purchased or found in dungeons. Altough really, the little items around town are usually fluff anyway, so this is pretty insignificant.

3) Every boss will use one particular strategy and have one method for taking him down. Period.

You do have a point about age, however.

 

[Another]

Me and my friend were looking up fighting games we have played for fun on Wikipedia. Mostly because we wanted to see where the storylines went since fighting games don;t get to specific. Anyway we typed in an older game called King of Fighters and well, my friend liked to use the character Posion. Neither of us had the original instruction book and so that day we discovered his favorite character was a transexual. That gave him the shivers a bit. The scary part was that in the original game, whenever she got hit you could see up her shirt and skirt...

 

[Minky_man]

GTA, any one of them: once you do something to make your wanted level at 2 stars or above, not only to the cops immediately begin swarming you, but they know exactly where you are at all times, no matter how many choppers you blow up or how fast you hide in a populated area.
If the cops in real life were that efficient, crime would no longer be an issue, also I know American cops have a reputation for being a bit trigger happy but COME ON! they take one look at you and instantly know your up to no good and its out with the guns and cap your arse.

On the issue of GTA cops: you can leave a trail of destruction behind you to make 9/11 look like a bike accident, but one trip to your house/church/star on the ground, what have you, and the army of law enforcement personnel go "huh? thats odd, why are we bothering this nice innocent guy?" and leave.

One time I got up to 5 stars on GTA: Vice city, drove like a man possessed to the nearest paint shop and waited for the law, after they had all surrounded me and my car was almost near death, I went into the paint shop and had a lick of paint, drove out and they were all "Where did he go? oh hello sir did you see a man that looks like you with a blue car drive in there, no, okay then"

 

[Jolly Madness]

Half a person crawling towards me in Ravenholm.

 

[Your Mom is Attractive]

In streets of rage, you would constantly eat fully cooked turkeys that you found inside of a garbage can.. or underneath a table.

 

[Divinegon]

Fear Effect 1 and 2. The commitment they had to animate in FMV almost all deaths the game could cause to your character. Saddest thing is they were enjoyable to watch.

 

[ZenMonkey47]

In streets of rage, you would constantly eat fully cooked turkeys that you found inside of a garbage can.. or underneath a table.

Along the same vein, in RPGs where you're venturing into an ancient dungeon that nobody's been in since the beginning of time, but you find perfectly usable potions and the like. What the kind of expiration date do these things have?

Even I, the penny pinching bachelor, throw cough syrup after a few years.

 

[Arcadia2000]

There's always the general things that bug most everyone who gives them a second thought:
No matter what weaponry you happen to have and the locale you're fighting in, you can usually count on finding more ammunition for it stuck back in a corner somewhere. You can be foiling the advances of art thieves in a Civil War era mansion that's been closed to visitors for 20 years, but you can still get Desert Eagle .50cal mags from the bathroom on the 2nd floor.

Counter to this are games that abstract the ammunition like Oni's generic ballistic or energy ammo... but that same single clip that can make, what, 12 bullets in a bog standard automatic pistol can also make 6 rocket-propelled grenade packs that explode on contact and spray the area with tiny explosives. Or friggen 2 sniper bullets.

And, of course, there's the tried and true health recovery method that's been in every game since Gauntlet, towit: food lying on the floor will give you energy, eat it. As though some demented roasted meats fairy flies over the battlefields of the videogame universe hiding hams of healing in horrific hovels, and tucking the terducken of regeneration into empty 50 gallon barrels, usually right behind the Convient Subweapon Gnomes.

And WHY do bunnies need daggers +1 and tigers drop health pots when slain? And WHERE does everyone hide this stuff?? I have a briefcase but it can carry my rocket launcher, two submachine guns, and all my aerosols and herbs! All I have is a backpack but I have three swords, three suits of armor, fifteen wands, four bottles, and three scroll cases! Did the tiger swallow that pot whole AND I gutted him out of sheer curiosity to know what tigers eat on a regular basis in case it just...might...NOT be meat?? It may not be twisted but MAN is it ever illogical.

Also I'm SO glad that you experienced day and night in LoZ:OoT, even if you never slept... maybe the seven-year magical hibernation in an extradimensional magical space made up for it. 0.o

-_-'...Can I have a magical nap, please?

 

[GregorV]

Mass Effect and most any other RPG/adventure game.

You are carrying a huuuuge amount of various items, be it weapons, upgrades, armor or anything else, and you can use them at all times. You are carrying those ... where exactly? The most plausible explanation must surely involve body orifices. And Mass Effect still has the nerve to tell me that I exceeded my limit on items I can carry. Excuse me, I thought that limit was already crossed after collecting my first full body armor, surely there's no room for me to carry another one?

Most of this also applies to most FPS; a machine gun, a rocket launcher, a shotgun, a sniper rifle, a crossbow, a gravity gun, and still being able to jump? Although, to be fair, in most FPSes you don't get to see your character at all, so there's a chance that you're carrying a huge backpack for that purpose.

Which brings me to the oldest complaint about FPSes. Why is my character the only one in the whole game with no legs or torso? Well, apart from those other characters whose bits were shot off.

 

[Nerdfury]

What about the rampant kleptomania in the old point and click adventure games (and RPGs to a lesser extent) where you even steal stuff right in front the owner who more often than not is pretty ok with it.

And why do people store so much stuff in crates and barrels about the place? What purpose is there to leaving your hard-earned gold in a crat behind your house?

And why is it that in Oblivion you can get the realism of wandering into a bar and sleeping/eatig/drinking, but the moment you pick up a wooden spoon in the tavern's dining room or grab a single damned apple, the fuzz is called and you're carted off or hacked at?

 

[Minky_man]

In streets of rage, you would constantly eat fully cooked turkeys that you found inside of a garbage can.. or underneath a table.

What more twisted is you find a metal pipe, and smash someone over the head, for some reason they get up and want more without any dizziness or any signs of damage. When you've hit them for the 3rd time you wonder why they hate their lives so much

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Scrolling into a delapidated room in House of the Dead 2 only to see a woman on the floor, scuttling away from a topless zombie and shouting the words "Don't come, don't come".

Sorry, was I interrupting something?

 

[AngryMan]

Think about it for a second: Gordan Freeman can carry -

one steel crowbar
one zero-point energy field manipulator
one 9mm pistol plus 168 rounds of 9mm ammunition
one .357 magnum plus 18 rounds of .357 hollowpoint
one SMG plus 300 rounds of ammo
one Assault rifle plus 90 rounds
one SPAS-12 shotgun plus 36 12-gauge shotgun shells
one crossbow plus eleven 1o-inch pieces of rebar
five high explosive grenades
one RPG launcher plus three laser-guided rockets
one experimental suit of personal armour
an apparently infinite supply of one-kilogram chunks of bug gut

And yet is capable of moving around at a jog indefinitely, is apparently unhindered by all that bulk and weight, has normal human buoyancy in water...

And yet his flashlight battery can barely last for thirty seconds before he has to let it recharge.

 

[Man_In_Gauze]

Think about it for a second: Gordan Freeman can carry -

one steel crowbar
one zero-point energy field manipulator
one 9mm pistol plus 168 rounds of 9mm ammunition
one .357 magnum plus 18 rounds of .357 hollowpoint
one SMG plus 300 rounds of ammo
one Assault rifle plus 90 rounds
one SPAS-12 shotgun plus 36 12-gauge shotgun shells
one crossbow plus eleven 1o-inch pieces of rebar
five high explosive grenades
one RPG launcher plus three laser-guided rockets
one experimental suit of personal armour
an apparently infinite supply of one-kilogram chunks of bug gut

And yet is capable of moving around at a jog indefinitely, is apparently unhindered by all that bulk and weight, has normal human buoyancy in water...

And yet his flashlight battery can barely last for thirty seconds before he has to let it recharge.

Um, the jog is hardly indefinite. But just consider Half-Life 1, where you carried (I believe) 12 clips for each weapon, there were more weapons, and you even saw the cylindrical container they were carried in...about the height and width of your thigh. Strange.


As for twisted things, doing a cavity search on a headless female corpse in System Shock 2 only to find a PDA-like game player (with the game "Swinekeeper", a parody of Minesweeper), a box of armor-piercinb bullets (no gun), several medical hypodermic needles, and...a bag of chips?

And then of course fighting those part robot, part human part alien nurses and pulling out one of their organs to research it with a little elemental osmium and some nanites...creepy.

 

[PureFuzz]

Viva Pinata. watching my daughter smash open a sick pinata and all its candy guts flying all over the place. then its whole family rush in to eagerly devour it. slightly disturbing.

 

[klc0100]

manhunt.
the more grusome the better.