slow and humiliating downward spiral into meaninglessness

[Koroviev]

This is not to be taken lightly. If you truly feel that way, then your best bet is to seek professional help. Do not make any serious decisions while you are in this frame of mind. If you think you are going to hurt yourself, please get help. You sound like a thoughtful person who doesn't deserve such a miserable end.

Feel free to message me; I'll listen.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Man up dude. Their is always someone who has it worse. I hate this oh cheer up bullshit. Life sucks get drunk and get over it. Who the fuck cares what people think of you. If you like you others will to. Start working out, it will make you feel better.

Wow. That's horrible. You've obviously never suffered a major depressive episode, and with that kind of mentality, I pray you never do.
If you, or some one you know suffers from depression, ignore this guy's advice.

 

[Tdc2182]

I'm depressed alot too, but mostly because of stress

I find that playing Minecraft is a great escape.

Listen to this person.

It's not so much playing Minecraft (I'm uncreative and procrastinate in the game), but finding an escape from reality. Its what is making my senior year go by quicker.

I savor everyday when I come home from school is getting on my computer and relaxing

 

[TilMorrow]

Contemplate existance, time and space. The fact its so hard to understand makes you want to stay alive and find out.

 

[GlitchZero]

Been there, still there, and there's a lot of good advice in this thread.

Except aquaman, he's a fucking idiot and apparently hasn't gone through anything truly awful in his life.

I don't know who said it, but they were completely right when they said find something you love. Find it, and love the shit out of it. Not someone, something.

Seriously, get a pet. Pets will love you unconditionally and will not judge you. Sounds pretty lame but I recently moved out on my own and the loneliness was really getting to me, so I got a kitten. It makes all the difference in the world to have something to come home to that won't insult you, that won't put you down, that won't let you down, and will always be there for you when you need it.

Find an activity to do. I love to skateboard, it helps clear my head and there's nothing else in those moments than that grind, or that flip, everything just stops for a second and I'm only focused on that moment, and it's really freeing not to stress about rent, or how I look, or what other people think of me. All that matters is that one moment.

Other then that, know that somewhere, worldwide, people are thinking of you, as proof in this thread. Don't give up, and don't take the easy way out. There's too much to lose, things you don't even know or see yet.

 

[leviathanmisha]

I know how you feel, except with my life, I'm not allowed to fix my mistakes because no one will give me more than five minutes...

Don't kill yourself dude, it's not worth it. I've seen what lies at the end of that road and it's not pretty. Maybe see a professional, but warning, they don't always help either. I'm on psych number 3 and I'm still not figuring shit out.

Find a cheap hobby or something that you can lose yourself in, music and writing are always a great place to start.

Wow, the depressed down on her luck college kid giving advice to someone else who is down on his luck...I need to market this...

 

[thom_cat_]

What you do is:
you work your ass off to repay that debt.
THEN you move far away and restart. Forget everything.
If the debt really is that bad, well... you're gonna have to try.

 

[Anarchemitis]

I'll be praying as well, Dradiscontact.

Your interests and attentions in things say much about how we all crave attention and acceptance. Your username being a reference to Battlestar Galactica for example.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Being so young, you cannot call your life over. You are only as stuck as you choose to be.

Also this.

[spoiler/][/spoiler]

 

[ExaltedK9]

Think about it this way, you were married at one point. This means that at one point you got pussy. It might not have been a lot of pussy, but it was some pussy, and you got it.

Most people spend their entire lives trying to get pussy, and once they get it, they keep trying to get more. Their entire lives are spent in pussy getting. Their job is used to get more money in order to impress women to get pussy. Their education? Used to get the job that they're using to get pussy. Their apartment? A place to go so that they can get pussy privately.

Think about all this for a second. Now think about yourself for a second. You're a self admitted loser, with no friends, no money, and no good qualities, yet somehow, without any of these fine points, you were able to get pussy. You're ahead of the pussy getting curve here! You were able to get pussy without having anything to give. All you have to figure out is how you did it, and do it again, and then you'll be back in the pussy-getting race of life.

See? Things aren't all that bad.

I can honestly say that I've never seen the word pussy used so much in one post. And kudos for not making it feel forced.

OT: My recommended first step would be to go off any anxiety meds you're on right now (I bring this up because it sounds like you're on some...) because that did wonders for me, to be able to assess things with a clear head.

I think its already been said but, make your peace with God, and find Jesus and all that good stuff. Then take a close look at your life, and get square.

And it may not be much condolence, but you have a family of misfits here on the escapist who sympatize.

 

[Cowabungaa]

The articles, videos, and commentaries on this website have truly been an escape for me for a long time now.

Escapes feel nice, but they don't offer anything substantial. As someone who is/was (still not sure) in a comparable situation, I can only say this:
[HEADING=2]GET. PROFESSIONAL. HELP.[/HEADING]
It probably won't be the end-all-be-all for your problems, but that doesn't matter. What matters is admitting your problems, which you seem to have done, and then setting the first step towards fixing them.

Not only does that, you know, help fixing your problem, but it also gives one (at least it did here) a moral boost, that you're actively trying to break through the vicious circle of self-pity, blame and escapism you're in, all of them not getting you anywhere.

Doing something about it, even if it's the first small step, is the only way you'll be able to recover.

 

[Ldude893]

Here's my advice. Despite my class in Psychology in High School, I'm still someone typing on the internet, so I can't guarantee that you'll accept my advice as good but I hope it does help:

-Get a more optimistic outlook in life. What good will it do you if you're complaining about every one of your problems and everything you lost? Instead, focus on what you still have. Think about it: You've got your life, you're breathing and alive, you've got the entire world in front of you, and you can do anything. People have lived without making a single buck in their life, and many of those people are happier than the people who have everything.
-Get professional help. Call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or find some other organization that can assist you into finding the right path.
-If people can't help you, help others. Helping other people brings happiness that can last for a very long time. Go join a charity, work for an orphanage or a homeless shelter or a food bank, or simply attend to people you meet in life who need assistance. Give a bit of love and it'll all come back to you.
-Find a hobby, probably something that you can easily access no matter your economic status. Reading, writing, sports, fishing, hiking, etc. Just find something that
-No hurdle in life, no matter how seemingly impossible to get over, is completely impassable. You're viewing your current predicament as an obstacle that you can never go through, but I'm telling you something: it's not an obstacle, it's a challenge. You are being challenged to change your view on life and to pick yourself up when it seems that the entire world is against you.
-Whatever you do, don't fall into bad habits like smoking, drugs, alcohol and crime. It'll make your situation even worse than it already is.

-Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass, you just have to hold on and make it through. Trust me, people have faced worse situations than you did, and yet they make it through and have great lives after that. You said that you were a coward because you didn't want to attempt to "close your eyes and not wake up". That isn't cowardice, that is bravery. You're brave enough to refuse the easy way out and you'll be brave and strong enough to make it through this.
Life is worth living for. You can make it.

And if this makes you any better:
<youtube=aJYETbW36BI>

 

[ExaltedK9]

I don't know you, but I can tell you this...

I love you without hesitation because you are a good person, and you make the world better. How many people go through what you went through and come out as murderers, sociopaths or just complete assholes with no capacity to feel? A lot, but you didn't. You still feel, you still desire love and acceptance, you stayed human.

Choosing not to commit suicide has nothing to do with cowardice, you can't do it because deep inside you there is still a glimmer of hope. That hope won't die, because you are a good person through and through. Hold that hope, shelter it and let it grow.

I suggest professional treatment and medication if it is prescribed. If you go on meds be careful because you will feel like you don't need them after a few months, you'll try to quit and end up depressed again. Give up control of yourself for a while and let a professional help to rebuild you. Do what the professionals tell you.

It sounds trite and silly, but it will get better. It will get better. It will get better. Just keep repeating that and believe me, it really will.

This is very good advice. All I would change is the part about the meds. I know they are necessary for some people, mainly with serious mental handicaps like multiple personalities, but I would steer clear of them for now.

I don't know how to communicate this without sounding like the crazy old man who stands on the corner yelling, trying to convince people that the octopuss in the sky demands human sacrifices, but...

STAY AWAY FROM THE DRUGS, THEY WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A BAD PLACE!!!!1!11! (collapses onto ground with foam all over face)

In all seriousness, a I said in my first post, your life situation will be a lot easier to assess when you're not on any anxiety meds, or anti-depressents. It did wonders for me when I went off mine, because they mostly just MAKE you want to kill yourself, like I did when I was on them. I really went down a notch on the crazy meter after I got off.

Then again, everyone's different. But bare that in mind all the same.

 

[Jekken6]

I would suggest just finding what you like doing most and so that. Watch comedy movie or read comedy books. Or masturbate. Seriously, masturbation can help people who are depressed feel better. The things I suggested may only bring temporary happiness and relaxation, but it's better than no happiness or relaxation at all.

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

Ever seen Fight Club? In the words of Tyler Durden.........: "Fuck salvation man, fuck redemption! We are Gods unwanted children? SO BE IT!"

It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything. The more you lose, the more free slots there are to fill with whatever you want. Fuck what everyone else may think, start living for yourself and you'll be the strongest and happiest ************ in the world.

 

[steamweedlegoblin]

Hello again. I apologize for taking so long to reply since my initial post. Thank you all for the responses and messages. I do appreciate it.

all that and you managed to get married at some point? howd you get her?

apart from that, i am quite honestly in about the exact same situation; no friends, broke, and about to drop out of college because i cant afford it. so, i really do know that its no consolation, but misery loves company, eh?

my advice, join the army like im probably going to. hopefully global conflicts will escalate and we'll have a good chance at least being able to die for something.

My wife was just as messed up, if not more so, than I am. How did I get her? Well I am athletic and, I would say, good looking. I am actually quite confident, despite my obvious self hatred. That was enough for me to attract her. But we were completely incompatible for each other and I knew that from the start. It was my own desperate need for any kind of human connection that led me to propose, even when I knew it would end in failure. That was selfish, I know.

Joining the military is a great idea. I do hope that it helps you get through the problems that you also are facing. Unfortunately for me, and for reasons I won't get into, no branch of the military will ever touch me. Believe me, I've tried.

Think about all this for a second.  Now think about yourself for a second.  You're a self admitted loser, with no friends, no money, and no good qualities, yet somehow, without any of these fine points, you were able to get pussy.  You're ahead of the pussy getting curve here!  You were able to get pussy without having anything to give.  All you have to figure out is how you did it, and do it again, and then you'll be back in the pussy-getting race of life. 

See?  Things aren't all that bad.

Sex is not going to be a cure for what's wrong with me. It didn't help when I was married or before I was married. I'd like to think that life is more than trying to get as much sex as possible. Because if that's all that there is, then there really isn't much to look forward to afterall. 

The easy way out is never good. no matter how much you think someone won't care, someone will be DEVESTATED by your suicide. That being said, it sounds like you've gone through alot os shit. now I cant identify with that kind of pain, but truly you're worth something. Like that other guy said the army *might* be a good idea, if you're able. Or apply for bankrupcy.

I'm not considering suicide. I don't have it in me to do it, so it's not even an option. Filing for bankruptcy is what I planned to do. It would only get rid of about half of my debt though. The other half is in student loans that I took out so that I could go to college and eventually provide a better life for my wife. She's the reason I started college, and the reason why I couldn't finish. The problem here is that it will take me 6 months to save enough money to afford the bankruptcy lawyer fees. If I lose my job, which I've held for 5 years now, there's no way I'll be able to get another that pays enough for me to save up for a lawyer.

Take up a hobby. Work out. Getting into fitness will probably make you feel a lot better, there's even a group here on the escapist which I can link you to if you want to ask any questions/routines.

I'm doing this already. I'm an amateur natural bodybuilder. Natural meaning that I have never and will never take steroids. While this does make me feel good about my physical appearance, it doesn't prevent me from hating just about everything else about myself.

I don't know you, but I can tell you this...

I love you without hesitation because you are a good person, and you make the world better.  How many people go through what you went through and come out as murderers, sociopaths or just complete assholes with no capacity to feel?  A lot, but you didn't.  You still feel, you still desire love and acceptance, you stayed human.  

Choosing not to commit suicide has nothing to do with cowardice, you can't do it because deep inside you there is still a glimmer of hope.  That hope won't die, because you are a good person through and through.  Hold that hope, shelter it and let it grow.

I suggest professional treatment and medication if it is prescribed.  If you go on meds be careful because you will feel like you don't need them after a few months, you'll try to quit and end up depressed again.  Give up control of yourself for a while and let a professional help to rebuild you.  Do what the professionals tell you.

It sounds trite and silly, but it will get better.  It will get better.  It will get better.  Just keep repeating that and believe me, it really will.

Thank you. Your post was very encouraging. The knowledge of what I could become, of what others who have been through similar experiences have already become, has never been far from my mind. I've fought with everything I have inside me to keep from becoming a monster.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Man up dude. Their is always someone who has it worse. I hate this oh cheer up bullshit. Life sucks get drunk and get over it. Who the fuck cares what people think of you. If you like you others will to. Start working out, it will make you feel better.

Wow. That's horrible. You've obviously never suffered a major depressive episode, and with that kind of mentality, I pray you never do.
If you, or some one you know suffers from depression, ignore this guy's advice.

First who seeks life advice from random internet voices. Second I'm not sold on depression, are you gonna tell me that the men building the railroad across america couldn't lay track because they were sad, or workers fueling the american military during world war 2 couldn't work the asembly line beause they were upset. My friend is a nurse and I have asked her indepth about depression and I'm sure people can medicate the hell out of thmselves to feel any which way they want, but I'll be honest and I'm sure you can point the cannon at me for saying it but here is is I don't buy Depression. Lastly thankyou for your prayers.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to side with the hundreds of thousands of mental health professionals around the world, decades of research, the DSM, and my own personal experience when I say I disagree with you.