Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[supagama]

Post the stupidest thing you have witnessed someone say or do (not on TV or in a magazine or the internet). Heres mine: Back in 8th grade, we were watching a movie about apollo 13 and a girl actually screams this out an hour into it (note: she knows nothing about religeon in any way).
Girl: I KNOW WHY THEY MADE THIS MOVIE!
Me: *sighs* do enlighten us.
Girl: *acting like she found out a conspiracy* They made this movie so less people will believe in god!
*Insert slowclap here*
Another time while reading a science textbook she asked the teacher (and I quote) "Where is the part about god?"

(please forgive bad spelling I'm typing on an iphone without spellcheck.)

 

[Quala]

The most recent one I can remember was a girl in my class' response to a wordbank fill in the blank question on some social studies review sheet.

Question: *blank* is water that is in constant motion.
Girl: *raises hand* Sir, rain isn't on the sheet!

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Me and a friend were comparing work in a math class one day. I noticed he had a different answer for the what x may be in the equation:

x[sup]3[/sup] + 8x[sup]2[/sup] + 3x - 108 = 0

He had -3, -4 and -9 while it was supposed to be -3, 4 and -9. Here came the slow clap.

Oh wait, that was a genuine mistake, not just a guy being stupid. In this thread, you will find an abundance of genuine mistakes, rather than genuine stupidity.

OT: I rarely find anything of actual stupidity. When I do, I correct the mistake. Usually, stupidity isn't genuine and is actually emphasized to get attention, however.

NOTE: You will find that the answers to the equation are wrong. I must have made a mistake, I'm not stupid.

EDIT: Seems when creating it I had +9x, rather than -9x. The equation should read:

x[sup]3[/sup] + 8x[sup]2[/sup] - 21x - 108 = 0

You'll find that the answers are now correct. For those who care, that is.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

 

[GrimHeaper]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

 

[William MacKay]

sadly, i know someone who climbed into an electric transformer station to get a rubber football for a random little kid. this guy also keeps asking me if a want to hang out with him and smoke, his big plan is to get me addicted to smoking: the flaw being that i dont like him.

 

[Doctor Insanovic]

Girl I knew in high school thought India was an African country. The ensuing facepalm caused serious long-term brain damhrgeyfbhrvubdyvubrsuhybvtrsuyb

 

[Zeema]

So Many to Choose from lets see

when i worked at KFC

[start slow clap]

Customer: Can i have a Big Mac
me: Sorry Sir we do not sell 'Big Mac's'
Customer: why not?
me: um, because we don't sell Big Mac its a McDonald's food item
Customer: Well what about the fridge?
me: um, Excuse me?
Customer: the fridge with the drinks in it. how much for the Fridge?
Me 'We Don't Sell Fridges.
Customer: Then why have it out the front?

[finish]
_____________________________________________

Girl: Schendler's List is so Fictional everyone no's that Nazi's are from space

or dear

 

[Sudenak]

Elementary school. We were all playing tag when a bomb threat was called in at the middle school. A chopper flies overhead with the Maryland flag emblazoned on it.

"The British are coming! The British are coming!" - entire Elementary school playground panicking because they thought the state flag was the British flag and that we were being invaded.

 

[Mr Pantomime]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

Usually forgive situations like that because everyone seems to have some weird glaring gap in their knowledge. Just being uninformed rather than stupid.

What really gets me is when when someone is hypocritical, which happens a lot considering I hang out with a lot of fanboys (Sony Fanboys in particular). Wii is stupid, but PS Move is totally original and totally isnt a cashgrab, that kind of thing.

Most recently, two of my friends were making fun of the Red Ring of Death like its 2008. So I turn around and remind one of them that two of his PS3s have YLOD'd over a year. He said it was just bad luck, but I told him it was a generally problem with where the Graphics card is placed in the old 60GB models. And he still stalwartly defends the PS3 like its the next messiah.

 

[Tartarga]

Mine happened in my history class. It went like this.

Girl: I'm not going to be here tomorrow.
Teacher: Why not?
Girl: I'm getting my gall bladder removed.
Stupid Girl: But then how will you have babies?

Luckily that teacher is making a book of stupid things people have said in his class. I can't wait for him to publish it, I would so buy a copy.

 

[spartan231490]

Gonna say, this time in senior year. One of my friends is one of those people who gets really good grades and she's really smart when it comes to stuff like that, but has an astonishingly small amount of common-sense and real life knowledge. I complimented her boots one day in honors society study hall, and she puts her leg up on the table and says, "Thank you. Do you know, I'm trying to find out. Are these real leather made from cows?" I was just being a jerk so I reply, "No [name], these are fake leather made from cows, real leather is made from woven human hair."

She believed me. For a solid 30 seconds before I couldn't take it anymore and started laughing so hard I fell out of my chair.

 

[spartan231490]

Another good one. Waiting in line at McDonalds and I hear these two guys talking.
guy one: "That's so awesome."
Guy two: "I know! It's a like a double-edged sword. It's like a double edged Katana!!"
I don't think I have ever had to put that much effort into not laughing.

 

[Furioso]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

Gonna have to correct you there Germany definitely does NOT pretend Hitler never existed they teach everything about World War 2 in Germany, they go into more detail than most other countries school systems.

OT: Back in our senior year of high school, when the teacher was talking about Genghis Khan, a girl goes "Wait isn't that that guy from Mulan!?" Same person also thought Winston Churchill was "that black guy" -_-

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

I convinced my friend for about half an hour before he Wikipedia'd it that mice were a fictional animal. Invented in the middle ages to explain the random disappearance of cheese i challenged that no animal could depend on a man made food stuff to survive, it was ludicrous. He accepted this. Without question. He actually freaked out about how dumb he was to believe they were real. I also stated all "mice" he had seen were a species of hamster.

 

[gellert1984]

When I was still in school we had to do an oral presentation, on any subject, to be graded on how well we speak, prepare, etc.

This wasn't long after either mechcommader or MW3 (I forget which maybe both) came out, I'd also read a bunch of the books so I chose to do my presentation on the build up and start of the clan wars.

After 10mins of talking about the 31st century, stomping death machines and Nick Kerensky I asked if there were any questions, half the class wanted to know why they havent seen anything about this war on the news! Either I'm a really convincing speaker, or my class were pretty dumb...

 

[4RM3D]

Caller 1: I've bought a wireless router and it ain't working.
Customer support: Did you plug in the power supply?
Caller 1: Why? It's a *wireless* router.

--------------------------------------------

Caller 2: My router is not working?
Customer support: Did you plug in the power supply?
Caller 2: What is a power supply?
Customer support: The little black thing with a wire that came with the router.
Caller 2: What am I suppose to do with that? There is nothing in the manual about that.

--------------------------------------------

 

[spartan231490]

Just remembered my two favorites ever. In senior year, my friend Ryan shows up on like the second Monday of school and has absolutely no hair on his right leg. After about 5 minutes of being tortured by curiosity, I ask him about it. So he tells us all the story.

Him and his friend Tom were screwing around with fire, common enough, and they mix an ounce or two of oil with a similar amount of gasoline in a soda can and then drop in a match, watching the pretty fire come out.(I wish he had described it differently) Then they put it on the ground and Tom stomps on it, washing burning oil and gas all over his leg and catching his stupid frayed jeans on fire. Luckily, they were 2 feet from the lake so no one was hurt.

They proceed to mix up another can and Ryan says, "Let me do this one, I'm wearing shorts." Because with shorts on, his pants can't catch on fire. I think you can imagine the rest.

Another guy, Grant, says, "Oh that's nothing, this summer me and my brother were screwing around with our potato gun and shot a screwdriver strait up into the air. We stood around in the garage for a while and then I walk outside." Apparently, his brother told him not to cuz the screwdriver was still in the air, but Grant thinks that it must have just landed out in the water. Standing there arguing, Grant catches a blur of downward motion as the screwdriver falls to the earth point down and buries itself in the ground inches from Grant's foot.

I reply with "Oh that's kid's stuff. I've done something stupider than both of those things."

All of them: "What?"
Me: "I still hang out with morons like you three."

 

[LaughingAtlas]

Some painful stories in this thread... [sub]"What's Hitler?" are you fuckinggoddamngrumblegrumble[/sub]

I once overheard a conversation to the lines of
"It's really hot today."
"The sun is too hot, why'd they make it that way?"

To this day I wonder if the second one was joking.

 

[Distorted Stu]

"My professor told me the sun was a star... what an idiot. He must think im stupid" -

*slow clap*