Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[MetalDooley]

Used to work in a video and game rental store some time ago.Encountered plenty of stupid customers but one woman always sticks out in my mind

Woman brings several PS1 games up to the counter - "Will these work on my kids PC?"
Me - "No ma'am these discs will only work on a Sony Playstation console"
Woman - What.I don't understand..."

Cue several minutes of me trying to explain they they won't work after which she insists on renting them anyway.About half an hour later she storms back into the store with a pissed off look on her face

Woman - "These discs you gave me don't work on my kids PC"
Me - *facepalm*

The best thing was that she was genuinely annoyed with me as if I had somehow tricked her into renting them

 

[Call4Duty]

I got one. The scene is Grade ten English class. We are reading a bit about Shakespeare and his life, and after a little while we get to his wife, Anne Hathaway. Cue derpy drug-addled girl in the back of the class to exclaim: "OHMYGAWD, the ACTRESS??!!?!"

As I recall, pretty much the entire class either facepalmed or cracked up.

 

[Alade]

The first thing that comes to mind is something rather recent, a friend was telling us how he stopped smoking, I remember him saying "I don't smoke" while holding a cigarette in his right hand.

 

[Tdc2182]

I thought that over the counter medicine was the prescription drugs in the pharmacy. I assumed this because they had to hand it to you ... you know...."over the counter"

Never really came up till this year in my life.

I had always assumed I was right because there was never really a moment that I used the phrase "over the counter". Nobody ever had the opportunity to correct me.

 

[ChupathingyX]

Student: "Country? I thought South Africa was a continent. Well where is it anyway?"

Teacher: "...they built a church upon the money made"
Student: "So wait they built the church on the money?"

Teacher: "Everyone wrongly judges Islam based on that event, uhhh 9/11, you know in 1998, or was it '99?"

Teacher: "Emperor Hirohito couldn't stand Japan's loss after WWII and committed suicide."

 

[imnot]

Girl; Sir is Jekyll and Hyde a true story
Teacher: *Sarcastcly* Yes
girl: I told you [insert name here]!
--------------------
Girl: It was obvious Britain was going to win the first world war because we're like, a tiny island.

Everyone: (including girl from first example) ???

 

[Scarim Coral]

The only one I can thing off was my mate told me that someone set fire in the school dumspter. Someone close the lid so the fire wouldn't spread until his mate (not friend with me) open the lid and huge smokes emerge right in front of his face. He was coughing and said "I totally didn't expected that!" It seen he doesn't know how fires work in enclose area.

 

[Amphoteric]

What is the battle where the German Invasion of Europe was stopped during World War 2.

Answer: The Battle Of Holland.

HOLY?!

 

[Cheesus333]

Luckily that teacher is making a book of stupid things people have said in his class. I can't wait for him to publish it, I would so buy a copy.

I think you would like this [http://www.amazon.co.uk/Must-Try-Harder-Howlers-Schoolchildren/dp/184529632X], given that it is essentially exactly what you just described

Nothing I can remember from my friends, but there was the time I said I wanted to film my death and put it on the Internet so I could see people's reactions. Spot the flaw in my logic, if you can.

The time I made two of my friends (at the same time) believe that pirate hooks sole purpose was for the abortion of the rape and pillage victims

To be fair, that one's disgusting enough to be true

(Pretty sure it isn't, though. Probably)

 

[TerribleAssassin]

This children, takes the cake...

Spoiler: Brace yourself, for mind-numbing stupidity

 

[Chameliondude]

Guy in my brothers year at school stole a bottle of sulfuric acid from the school chem lab and put it in his bag, didnt realise the top was just a stopper and just fell out if you turn the bottle upside down, and destroyed his bag, books, and the back of his trousers, he was fine, as they washed it off him after he started saying his legs were itchy in the next lesson.

Apart from that, i heard a girl in geography ask where taliban was, as she thought it was a country.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Guy walks into a ham store. Looks around for a minute, then walks up to the counter and asks,

"Do y'all sell ham here?"

That's actually pretty fun to do. I remember some belgian comedian doing things like that to confuse people:

(at bakery)

"My my, baker, lot of bread today!"
"Well, yes, it's a bakery..."
"That's a good one!"
"..."

 

[Jake0fTrades]

"Who assassinated Martin Luther King Jr?"

"James Earl Jones."

 

[Jake0fTrades]

This children, takes the cake...

Spoiler: Brace yourself, for mind-numbing stupidity

You just won four internets.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

I once overheard a conversation over the phone between to guys talking about the various chemicals they preferred to put in their bodies in the hopes of growing muscles. The guy on the phone eventually started talking about an ad he'd seen in a magazine about one such chemical. He said, and I quote: (NOTE: For maximum effectiveness, read in a dull monotone)

"The ad said that in the first week, your muscles will get bigger, and in the second week, your muscles will get even bigger, and in the third week, your muscles will get even bigger, and in the fourth week-"[footnote]Sorry for the overuse of commas, but that's how the guy said it.[/footnote]

At this point, the guy on the other end of the call cut him off. Kind of a shame, I really wanted to know where he was going with this.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

This children, takes the cake...

Spoiler: Brace yourself, for mind-numbing stupidity

You just won four internets.

I was going to say that Justin Bieber jokes are no longer funny and that everyone makes mistakes, but...He read the word. It wasn't just the guy's accent, he actually read the word "German" and still didn't know what it was.

That is unforgivable.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

This children, takes the cake...

Spoiler: Brace yourself, for mind-numbing stupidity

You just won four internets.

I'll take Explorer, Chrome, Safari and Firefox

 

[IcyEvils]

"If your last name ends in a vowel, you are Italian"

Love this one!

I had always assumed I was right because there was never really a moment that I used the phrase "over the counter". Nobody ever had the opportunity to correct me.

Hey, I thought I knew the difference! Care to explain what it is? Because now I'm confused.

Okay, I've heard many blindingly retarded things, but one of them gems has to be from my girlfriend two days ago. Now, this girl is very smart, creative, excels socially etc. But she has no general knowledge whatsoever. Example time!

(I have a friend who has some Asian features even though he is 100% Irish, and India came up in conversation. Note: May be deemed racist, my apologies.)

Me: Hehe, he should go to New Dehli!
Her: Where's that?
Me: It's a large city in India.
Her: But I thought the joke is that he's Asian?
Me:...


*10 Minutes after laughing so hard I nearly drove her to tears*

Me: Erm, what all countries make up Asia?
Her: China (I had to explain to her China was a part of Asia, not the other way round, 6 months ago)... Umm...

(She actually could not think of any more).

I love this girl to pieces, but seriously need to teach her some general knowledge..

 

[LuckyClover95]

My mum didn't know what the Chernobyl disaster was