So a Genie appears and grants you three wishes...

[Benarikun]

Though it's probably been done many a time, here's your situation:

A Genie, probably Aladdin style, or however you personally invisage one, appears unto you and grants you three wishes, the ONLY rule being you cannot wish for more wishes and that every single conceivable loophole has been successfully countered by some sort of Genie high council seriously don't even bother trying. Even so, correct wording in what you want your wish to be can lead to more than one technically being granted.

My question is this; What would your three wishes be?

Because I find this a fun topic, I've had a ton of different incarnations of the three wishes you're allowed, but my most recent runs thus:

1. I wish for "The Svekarlan Paradigm" to be true. (This is a story/shameless self insertion I've been working on for some time. In essence it compresses may things into one, easily written statement.)
2. I wish that my architecture coursework would just finish itself.
3. I wish that you could give this gift to everyone I know, as long as their wishes do not conflict with mine.

So, your takes?

 

[Wolfiesden]

Wishes Granted:
1. No clue what you are talking about, Genies don't have Google. Wish grants one free Happy Meal. Enjoy, it will be the last one produced (see wishes #2 and #3).

2. Your coursework completes itself. Due to the fact the coursework completed itself you failed to gain the knowledge that the coursework was intended to teach you. As a result you wind up poor and destitute just prior to the nuclear war (see wish #3) because one of your designs failed and collapsed killing thousands and resulted in lawsuits that ruined you and your entire family and prevents you from getting any job that requires any more thought than a Burger King drive up attendant (which are obsolete due to wish #3)

3. Your wish propagates the wishes to all you know, who, by no surprise, wish for things like trillions of dollars (or pounds since you are in the UK), vast amounts of jewelery, cars and large houses, and some of them pass on the wish granting wish. This results in a total collapse of the world economy bankrupting many countries forcing billions into poverty and destitution. This eventually shuts down all industry so anyone without wishes has no access to any manufactured items or food products at all. Your wishes continue to propagate and eventually spread to some corrupt politicians who eventually start a global nuclear war that renders the planet uninhabitable to anything but cockroaches and a few strains of bacteria and viruses. Not a big deal really, since 98% of the world human population had used up their wishes and were starving (due to complete lack of food production on the planet) in destitute conditions anyway so most of them considered the war a much needed cleansing anyway. Game over. Try again?

 

[Cherry Cola]

1. Make me a genie

2. Free me.

3. Die.

See, in Aladin, they could do that! Therefore, I can do it too.

I become a genie, he frees me, and I can make whatever I want.

 

[SwimmingRock]

1. A mysterious and untraceable source of income which will allow me to live in moderate wealth for the rest of my life. Basically, magical retirement.
2. Ability to play all musical instruments.
3. Good health for the rest of my life.

Music, books and no cares. Whoo!

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

1. I guess I'd pick the ability to talk to animals, which is something I've always wanted to do. And I've never watched Dr. Doolittle.
2. Being fluent in every language in the world.
3. Being able to form a band with a guarantee of critical and commercial success.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I'd go for:

1. Good health throughout my life
2. I'd go for the ability to tell if someone finds you attractive, that'd make EVERYTHING in life simpler.
3. Free the Genie

The reason for number 3 is Aladdin did it in the Disney film and then Genie was basically his *****, I'm not expecting it but he's got to owe me something after that, huh?

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

3. Being able to form a band with a guarantee of critical and commercial success.

But the Genie's curse and twisted sense of humour would make you play pop-punk.

 

[El Poncho]

1. I wish pokémon was real
2.&3. I will save these wishes for problems in the pokémon world

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

1. I wish pokémon was real
2.&3. I will save these wishes for problems in the pokémon world

Wish for Master Balls?

 

[Wizco]

1) I wish for Perfect Health

2) I wish for a Million Euro's of which no-one will ever question me where I got it from, nor do I have to pay any taxes on it (seriously, otherwise I'd lose like half of it)

3) My third wish is that nobody else will ever be able to make any more wishes.

I doubted between Perfect Health and long-lasting youth, but I think I chose the wiser one of the two.

 

[Koeryn]

Just asking what you'd wish for, not how you'd grant them.

1)I'd wish to be a master level of every skill in the world, and physically and mentally capable of using said skills. That is not to say, lower the skill level of everyone in the world, so that I would be better than them by comparison, but to be truly great at the chosen skills.

2) I actually don't need or want anything past that. Maybe a few thousand dollars, or to win the next big jackpot I buy a lottery ticket for.

3) Money, and skills. What else could I possibly want?

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

3. Being able to form a band with a guarantee of critical and commercial success.

But the Genie's curse and twisted sense of humour would make you play pop-punk.

Very well, I will include the catalyst "metal band".

 

[Gabanuka]

1. I want to sing like Freddie Mercury.
2. I want to have control over metal.
3. I want to look good.

 

[The Night Shade]

only 1 wish have 100 more wishes

 

[El Poncho]

1. I wish pokémon was real
2.&3. I will save these wishes for problems in the pokémon world

Wish for Master Balls?

Yes, good thinking. We should travel together in the pokémon world

 

[Maltyz]

1. Fight Club on blu ray would be nice!
2. Get rid of this fucking pimple!
3. Few more wishes! NOW!
GIMME WHAT I WANT!

 

[MurderousToaster]

1) Make everyone in the world dumber than me
2) Make me significantly smarter
3) Ensure they hail me as a god