So How Do -You- Greet A New Escapist?

[Jonluw]

I used to tell them something along the lines of "Welcome to the escapist, enjoy your stay. And remember: Don't do vs. threads."

Nowadays I'm not really all that good at noticing new users though, and I'm even worse at greeting them. Sigh.
I guess I'm just too busy surfing around the forum doing my shit.

I will try to welcome them if I quote them and see that it's their first post though.

 

[Sarynroth]

I don't think I've met someone who was new, but I did I would great them how everyone seems to great new people "welcome to the Escapist enjoy your stay, also stay out of the Basement"

Also no one said Hi to me

 

[AbstractStream]

I...don't?

I don't think I've met someone who was new, but I did I would great them how everyone seems to great new people "welcome to the Escapist enjoy your stay, also stay out of the Basement"

Also no one said Hi to me

Yeah, pretty much.
Just treat them normally I guess.

 

[tahrey]

I go...

what, you're new? er. ok. you felt the need to announce that... ok... good. well done.

I don't pay attention to post counts to be honest, unless someone appears to be trolling or spamming...

 

[Aurgelmir]

Don't care if you are new or old, I treat them all the same

 

[Scars Unseen]

So how do you greet those apparently new to the Escapist?

I greet them with fire.

 

[Mannayz]

I'm not the one to greet the new guy, usually.

Then again... nobody greeted me when I was new...

 

[GeorgW]

Welcome to the Escapist, you'll love it here, as long as you stay out of my basement!
I usually just do a version of that. If may be cliché, but people need to know to stay the hell out of my basement!!

I usually just go "Hi welcome to the escapist........ Fear the mods their everywhere!" That's what I would do if I ever had to welcome the newbie's but I haven't had this experience yet.

Good advice.

 

[Andalusa]

There's a speech... Um. WATCH THIS SPACE
Here we go:

Welcome! Welcome to Escapistmagazine.com! You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining Internet Utopias. I thought so much of Escapistmagazine.com, that I elected to establish my administration, here, in the Forums, so thoughtfully provided by our Moderators. I am proud to call Escapistmagazine.com my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to Escapistmagazine.com. It's safer here.

Wow, that's a blast from the past.
I haven't been posting that much over the past few months and have only recently begun posting on a regular basis again so I haven't had the chance to greet new people.
^But that's how I do it.^

And looking back through the thread, I notice it's already been done. But a couple of years ago I jumped at every chance to use that speech..

 

[MrShowerHead]

Spoiler: Bioshock Greeting

I am MercurySteam, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? "No" Says the man at Ebay, "it belongs to the poor". "No" says the Man at religioustolerance.org, "it belongs to God". "No" says the man at Facebook, "it belongs to everyone". I rejected those answers. Instead; I chose something different. I chose the Impossible. I chose. The Escapist. With a forum where the opinionated would not fear the censor (within reason), where the Moderators would not be bound by petty morality, where the Gone Gonzo would not be constrained by the troll. And with the ache of your fingers (and perhaps a new keyboard), The Escapist can be yours as well...

Oh, I'm so stealing this! Hope you're okay with that....

 

[Ham_authority95]

So how do you greet those apparently new to the Escapist?
Do you try something new every time? Do you simply meet and greet; "Hi, welcome to the Escapist, enjoy your stay?"
Do you not even bother?

Personally I say hi, tell them to enjoy their stay, have fun and to beware the

Spoiler: TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!! D:

By staying out of our proverbial basement.

"Welcome. Respect our Mod overlords and don't go into the basement."

Sums it up nicely.

 

[MercurySteam]

Spoiler: Bioshock Greeting

I am MercurySteam, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? "No" Says the man at Ebay, "it belongs to the poor". "No" says the Man at religioustolerance.org, "it belongs to God". "No" says the man at Facebook, "it belongs to everyone". I rejected those answers. Instead; I chose something different. I chose the Impossible. I chose. The Escapist. With a forum where the opinionated would not fear the censor (within reason), where the Moderators would not be bound by petty morality, where the Gone Gonzo would not be constrained by the troll. And with the ache of your fingers (and perhaps a new keyboard), The Escapist can be yours as well...

Oh, I'm so stealing this! Hope you're okay with that....

Sure thing. Maybe one of these days I could come up with a new one.

 

[Jedamethis]

I personally just treat them as I would any other Escapist. No one said "hi" to me.

Me neither. I was neglected in my Escapist childhood. *sobs*
Until I joined a group that is.

OT: I don't, until they attract my attention. Even then I'm more likely to chuckle and make a mental note to do something. And then never do. >.>

But I like the sorta-traditional Bisoshock Greeting.

 

[Jamous]

Spoiler: Bioshock Greeting

I am MercurySteam, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? "No" Says the man at Ebay, "it belongs to the poor". "No" says the Man at religioustolerance.org, "it belongs to God". "No" says the man at Facebook, "it belongs to everyone". I rejected those answers. Instead; I chose something different. I chose the Impossible. I chose. The Escapist. With a forum where the opinionated would not fear the censor (within reason), where the Moderators would not be bound by petty morality, where the Gone Gonzo would not be constrained by the troll. And with the ache of your fingers (and perhaps a new keyboard), The Escapist can be yours as well...

Ha, thats pretty cool.

I haven't yet, someone has beaten me to it on the majority of occassions.
But if I had the chance I'd probably post something like the link the OP had, which I'll repost anyway because its so awesome.

Spoiler: TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!!! D:

Thank you, thank you very much. Liked the Bioshock greeting, I have to say.

Why do you care?

Just curious, that's all.

 

[Wierdguy]

Still trying to find my way around this forum, but if someone brand new (litteraly about a week or two) shows up I try to be extra nice =p

 

[FalloutJack]

I say something very weird and mention Gazuga.

 

[DonMartin]

"Hi, welcome to the Escapist, stay out of the basement."

simple, yet effective.

 

[WorldCritic]

I tell them hello, and then I ignore them unless I see a post they make that catches my attention.

 

[yunalasca]

I don't know, I'm only new at this stuff myself. Only here about a week

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I must say, I find it rather saddening that noone understands the advice of ignoring Doug the resident troll anymore. Particularly since he spawned from the same joke greeting that spawned the basement, it's just that the basement became the more popular thing and Doug faded into existence.

Anyway, I don't greet new guys unless they have a question which I can answer. Then I'll just say 'Welcome to the Escapist! Enjoy your stay.' at the bottom as it's nice in those situations to welcome them. If they're not asking anything then I usually can't be bothered to respond.

I advise them to visit the friendliest place in the forums, the Religion and Politics section and encourage them to voice their honest and unfiltered opinion to gain the respect of the people in that section.

I'm not sure what's worse: The amount of flames they'll get or the possibility that they end up genuinely convinced that that's the nicest these forums ever get.