So I finally got around to beating Assassin's Creed 2 . . .

[teknoarcanist]

. . . and my first thought is, "It's Indigo Prophecy all over again."

My second thought is, "It's like someone took a dump in my mouth."

I would love to be there for the pitch meeting wherein someone had to sincerely explain why they felt the correct ending for a game about a renaissance assassin should consist of

Spoiler

breaking into the Vatican and challenging the evil pope to magical fisticuffs, before chasing him into what is presumably a spaceship, where what is ostensibly an alien hologram tells you that the sun is going to explode...or...something...?

It's like the majority of the game was written by a team that got very into some period history books and had some neat ideas for how to weave the AC story in and out...and then for the ending, they handed it off to a 12-year old. I honestly have a hard time believing how god-awful it was Did someone slip me some LSD when I wasn't looking?

 

[Ignatz_Zwakh]

I started to feel that way about the games story the moment the entire cast revealed they were assassins. The scene in the tower where they swear Ezio in was just SO goddamn cheesy...then the abrupt time-jump just seemed arbitrary.

I honestly think the series would benefit greatly from Ubisoft scrapping the scifi elements of the story in favor of making each individual game a contained tale focusing on an assassin from a different time period. It could be a thematic series rather than one linked by plot.

 

[strum4h]

Well I really enjoyed the game. Maybe you should spend a bit less time nitpicking about the ending and more time having fun stabbing archers.

 

[Salad Is Murder]

I thought the ending was pretty cool. I got to headbutt the pope to death.

 

[voetballeeuw]

I didn't really like the ending to AC2 either. I was okay with the first one's though, but the second's just seemed so random. It's a great game, but the story but the final moments are just batshit insane. I like the fact that certain historical figures are actually assassins, Macchiavelli.

Then again, the gameplay is just based on a Renaissance assassin, the rest is focused on some political conspiracy about artifacts and what not. They're not trying to create an accurate simulation of life as a Renaissance assassin, at least not in my eyes.

 

[teknoarcanist]

@ignatz Yeah that was pretty much when the whole thing took the train to crazy-town.

"We've got the apple!"
"Great, now I'll just finish killing Rodrigo..."
"Nah he's cool, it's cool, don't worry about it."
"...but he's right over there."
"HE GOT AWAY. But we will face him another day."
"...okay? I still don't get why I couldn't just...yknow..."
"Because we're assassins. Who kill people and manipulate politics to avert catastrophe."
"Oh. Right. Like we've been doing this whole time."

ABRUPT TIME LEAP FORWARD.

"So that guy's the evil pope now btw."
"O, kk."
"GASP. WHAT IF THE POPE-STICK IS MAGIC."
"AGGFHGKJGJHGLKJG WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. Wait. ...wait. That would be stupid."
"ALIENS!"
"AAH!"

 

[Ignatz_Zwakh]

Well I really enjoyed the game. Maybe you should spend a bit less time nitpicking about the ending and more time having fun stabbing archers.

I enjoyed the gameplay immensely! I spent hours just luring guards into deathtraps where I could push them off roof-tops. Poisoning the bastards and watching them go mad was a blast as well! I just felt that the writing got immensely flakey and that the present-day cutscenes were populated by some of the most annoying characters I have EVER seen.

 

[Salad Is Murder]

HEADBUTT.
POPE.
DEATH.

 

[strum4h]

Well I really enjoyed the game. Maybe you should spend a bit less time nitpicking about the ending and more time having fun stabbing archers.

I enjoyed the gameplay immensely! I spent hours just luring guards into deathtraps where I could push them off roof-tops. Poisoning the bastards and watching them go mad was a blast as well! I just felt that the writing got immensely flakey and that the present-day cutscenes were populated by some of the most annoying characters I have EVER seen.

Well to remedy those things just take a drink of (insert favorite beverage here) when they come up. I did that during the entire game called Prototype. I had no idea what it was about but it sure was fun to play. Don't let the bad writing and characters interrupt your fun.

 

[teknoarcanist]

XD

Every time a character arbitrarily speaks a sentence in Italian, EVERYBODY DO A SHOT!!!

@strum You pretty much summed it up. I enjoyed the gameplay immensely, and I'm seriously considering picking up Brotherhood because the idea of playing AC2 in an online mode gets me all hot and bothered. But the thought of that ending -- and the cavalcade of shit which must now follow it -- makes me one very sad panda indeed.

 

[Salad Is Murder]

I have the same issue with Bayonetta, that I've been playing just recently. It's quite a fun game, but I find I have to skip every cutscene (mind you this is the first time I've played the game) because ANY amount of interaction with whatever that game feels is 'story' is RUINING my fun playing it.

 

[teknoarcanist]

@spyende I liked the exchange while they were fist-fighting. Pope says the bible is BS and Ezio is SHOCKED. Like...you're magically fist-fighting the evil pope inside of a space-ship under the Vatican, and that's the thing that surprises you??

What's crazy is how AC went from something that just ever-so-carefully toed the Dan Brown line of ludicrous shenanigans...to something that makes Dan Brown look like halfway-decent fiction.

(Although if I recall, one of his books ended with the evil pope parachuting out of an antimatter explosion...so.....yeah......<_<)

 

[WolfEdge]

I... I don't know where people keep pulling aliens and spaceships from... especially considering the fact that these things are mentioned approximately NEVER in the game.

Is it so difficult to grasp the idea that the "ones who came before," or whatever they were called were just incredibly technologically advanced?

 

[teknoarcanist]

@wolf

Tomato tomahtoe. It's an abrupt, jarring, batshit ridiculous 'plot-twist' either way.

And by 'plot', I mean steaming pile of corporate-created, design-by-consensus horse-shit.

And by 'twist', I mean sudden, fatal, ninety-degree merge into the oncoming lane.

...

 

[strum4h]

Honestly, I don't think I can name a single game, book or movie I've ever played/read/seen that has an ending worse than that of AC2.

I think the worst part of it was that I couldn't finish the fight with the Pope early so I didn't have to hear their neverending dialogue.

Well for book read "Snow Falling on Cedars" for movie watch "The Core" and for game ending I would have to say Borderlands.

 

[SilverKyo]

the story and ending made plenty of sense if you payed attention (there were never aliens or spaceships btw), but honestly they really only use it as an excuse to have you play assassin's in different time periods, because it would be even more weird and random to have two games about totally unrelated assassin's in white murdering people just because they can.