So I Just Started (And Finished) Playing "Unsurvivable Fall Simulator 2013"

[2HF]

Jesus fucking christ does Lara fall a lot.

Did anyone else notice this? Half of the distance she covers in the game is done via falling. Lara must be the reincarnation of the great Greek god of every fucking thing crumbling beneath your feet.

It started getting out of hand in the first hour, now it's a comical drinking game that will kill you if you play it.

Does anyone know of any other games with such over the top recurring situations?

 

[lacktheknack]

This is a good OP. I like this OP.

I've always enjoyed Limbo's "Take a drink when a ray of hope is dashed" game. Or Myst's "Take a drink every time you find an inexplicably locked mechanism" game. Or Beyond Atlantis' "Take a drink every time you don't understand something" game.

Warning... that last game will kill you. Especially in the sequence that culminates in a drawing you've just met saying "I would help you if only I had my salmon".

 

[The_Lost_King]

Well, in KotOR 2 I'm pretty sure you crash land more than you regularly land.

 

[Raine_sage]

I was kind of disappointed because I thought the OP was talking about some new silly freeware game based on dropping things from staggering heights, like a splatter based fruit ninja.

On topic, if I took a shot for every time the camera lovingly pans down Snake's ass I'd be dead before... ok I'd probably only be regularly drunk. But damnit if it isn't like having a spider pointed out to you that you didn't notice before. I didn't even notice all the ass shots until a friend made an offhand comment* and then suddenly I can't stop seeing them.


*Not recently, I'm aware that Metal gear's proud tradition of the ass cam is no secret and has not been for awhile.

 

[Mid Boss]

Well, this is the strangest venting I have ever seen...

OT: Ace Attorney, take a drink every-time a witness is lying, oh that's right, I would be dead in an hour because fucking everyone who goes on that damn witness stand can't tell a solid testimony to save their life.

Seriously, even the people who don't have anything directly to do with the crime lie on that stand.

Also, take a shot when your lovely hard fought contradictions are broken to pieces by the evil prosecutor.

Interestingly, the Phoenix Wright games are a parody of Japan's legal system where we are guilty until proven innocent. Unlike America where you have to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a person is guilty. In Japan you have to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, someone is innocent. Prosecuting attorneys have ridiculously high conviction track records.

At least that's what I read somewhere.

 

[Isalan]

Lara Croft. Granite ankles and titanium knees on that one. Also, don't get me started on her immune system. If I went swimming in piss with a hole the size of a golf ball through my midriff I'm pretty sure no amount of home made first aid would help.

OT: As Yahtzee once said Nathan Drake has no right to be surprised if something breaks when he jumps onto it anymore.
Civ V: Nukes Ghandi? Again?
Every Assassins Creed: Master of countering except in cutscenes, then suddenly that skill is gone.
Far Cry 3: Why do the animals never learn to runaway at the sight of me and flamethrower?

As for drinking games, install Dota 2, join a pub, wait until someone on your team chooses Riki (this won't take long), take a shot each time they die and blame lag or a team mate. You might, might make 2 games.

 

[The Wykydtron]

The most ridiculous part of the new Tomb Raider apart from the start of course where she runs a gaping wound in her side through an ungodly amount of mud, blood and other filthy shit and lives, was the one where she climbs a thin, rusty radio tower covered in ice, somehow gets to the top and gets it working despite it being frozen solid then teleports back down to the bottom.

There is no way in fuck that she could have gotten down from there without falling to her death.

Otherwise XCOM. HOW DID YOU MISS THAT YOU BLITHERING RETARD?! YOU MECHAS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE RELIABLE ONES AREN'T YOU?! CHRIST! NOW EVERYONE IS DEAD YOU FUCK!

Does anyone know if the bit where the aliens actually get into XCOM HQ is unavoidable or did I leave EXALT alone for too long or something? I mean it would be easy if my best sniper wasn't stuck in gene modifying surgery at the time.

Haha, remember when they said they fixed Squadsight Snipers? Hahaha no. They're still hilariously broken. Seekers are fuckin' shit. drop everything, put every single guy on Overwatch and watch the thing get instagibbed by 6 troops firing at once the instant it gets out of invisibility.

Efficient? No. Hilarious? Yes.

 

[Lieju]

Well, this is the strangest venting I have ever seen...

OT: Ace Attorney, take a drink every-time a witness is lying, oh that's right, I would be dead in an hour because fucking everyone who goes on that damn witness stand can't tell a solid testimony to save their life.

Seriously, even the people who don't have anything directly to do with the crime lie on that stand.

Also, take a shot when your lovely hard fought contradictions are broken to pieces by the evil prosecutor.

Also apparently lying on a witness stand is perfectly legal if you manage to run away when the court is still shocked over the revelations of you true testimony.

To be fair it's also common that the witness is remembering things wrong or not telling everything because no-one asked.

 

[RJ 17]

I'm gonna reach way back in the past for this one, but how about we go with Ultimate VIII: Pagan. For those of us old enough to remember this god-awful abomination and one of EA's greatest sins (and for everyone else that's simply watched Spoony's review of the game), if you're looking to kill yourself with a drinking game then take a shot of liquor every time a treasure chest explodes in your face. Also take a drink of beer every time you die on a platforming section.

Seriously, your liver will go on strike in a matter of minutes.

 

[Qvar]

The FEAR franchise tell us that there are 99% chances that any helicopter you ride will end in some sort of on the fly emergency dissasembly.

Also the amount of times Isaac from Dead Space gets lied and betrayed is downrigth depressing, thou beliveable.

I was kind of disappointed because I thought the OP was talking about some new silly freeware game based on dropping things from staggering heights, like a splatter based fruit ninja.

hahah, same.

 

[Sectan]

I'm gonna reach way back in the past for this one, but how about we go with Ultimate VIII: Pagan. For those of us old enough to remember this god-awful abomination and one of EA's greatest sins (and for everyone else that's simply watched Spoony's review of the game), if you're looking to kill yourself with a drinking game then take a shot of liquor every time a treasure chest explodes in your face. Also take a drink of beer every time you die on a platforming section.

Seriously, your liver will go on strike in a matter of minutes.

Finish the whole case if you've just finished a horrible platforming section, get to the chest, open it and have it knock you into the water to die.

 

[Pebkio]

So this thread is actually about video game drinking games that'll get you killed? You know... take a drink every time you die in I Wanna Be the Guy. Or how about some serious ones:

Xcom: Take a drink eveytime Dr. Shen starts to talk about the pitfalls of studying alien technology.
Fallout 3: Take a drink everytime you hear the name Three Dog.
Morrowind/Oblivion: Take a drink everytime you crash to the desktop.

 

[Sarasena]

I had assumed this was a thread about an Occulus Rift game where you fall through the sky to your bone-crunching death, kind of like that guillotine simulator from a while back.

Civ 5: As soon as the enemy AI's turn gets longer than your own turn, start drinking till your turn hits again. I often find myself getting up to make tea or a sandwich while the enemy AI runs through its stuff, but drinking sounds more fun.

 

[SinisterGehe]

I enjoy the form of Japanese game drinking game.
"Take a drink every time someone repeats the last line as a question."
Or the deadly "Take a drink every time Metal Gear game's plot takes a twist that you can not comprehend with earth logic"
Also Civ4 and 5
"Take a drink every time NPC who has been your ally turns around and declares war without any reason"
"Take a drink every time the NPCs Offer you a deal and you click accept and they say it is not good enough"
This is for Crusader Kings and Europa Universalis
"Take a drink every time you totally destroy some one in a war and you have bit under 99% war score and AI states it is not over yet"
"Take a drink every time you look at a country you want to invade has no allies but when you declare a war you get 10 bigger countries attacking you"

Ill come up with some more, but I need to take a nap so my brains start functioning.

 

[blackrave]

Otherwise XCOM. HOW DID YOU MISS THAT YOU BLITHERING RETARD?! YOU MECHAS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE RELIABLE ONES AREN'T YOU?! CHRIST! NOW EVERYONE IS DEAD YOU FUCK!

Does anyone know if the bit where the aliens actually get into XCOM HQ is unavoidable or did I leave EXALT alone for too long or something? I mean it would be easy if my best sniper wasn't stuck in gene modifying surgery at the time.

Haha, remember when they said they fixed Squadsight Snipers? Hahaha no. They're still hilariously broken. Seekers are fuckin' shit. drop everything, put every single guy on Overwatch and watch the thing get instagibbed by 6 troops firing at once the instant it gets out of invisibility.

Efficient? No. Hilarious? Yes.

Well, in defense of X-Com the combat is supposed to be real time.
What I mean actually noone is standing or sitting in cover
Due to game being turn based we just see gunfights like this
That is why I prefer UFO:Aftershave series (not the Aftermath so much)
Because there it is actually understandable why soldier missed
1.Snipers missed because target was running
2.Soldiers missed because they were exchanging shots and were distracted by projectiles/lasers/plasma flying next to their faces (or sometimes being hit)
3.Drones missed because they are dumb as brick

 

[sanquin]

mass effect, any of the games:
Take a drink every time a mission is supposed to be routine, but goes bad very quickly. Especially ME2 does this a lot. Like...every team mate mission. Both to get them and to get their loyalty.

 

[Your Fearless Captain]

I thought this about some new indie game called Unsurvivable Fall Simulator 2013. My hopes have been dashed.