So, I'm dating my cousin now... Yeah...

[Sacman]

Anyway this is a continuation of a poll I started yesterday. It asked the question, " Would you date a close relative?" but in truth it was one of those relationship advice threads, that I never participate in. The whole thing started when I met a cousin I haven't seen in like a good couple years(I'm 17 she is 16 now) at a family reunion a week ago. I was out of town or else I would have posted earlier. I got the feeling she was coming on to me so I got her number and we've been talking and doing things together everyday since, I.E. Movies, mall, shopping ECT. All the time she's been dropping, extremely unsubtle, hints that she likes me more than a cousin. So at the time I thought, "I like her too we have a lot in common, and we have some decent chemistry together, so why not?" Today I worked up the nerve to tell her how I feel and to my surprise it wasn't extremely awkward, only slightly, but anyway she says she likes me too and, like me, wants there to be more between us. So were off but the first thing that crossed both of our minds was how the family would react. I mean our family is very supportive and close but that could cause more problems than actually help.

So what do you think I should do about the family? and have you ever been in a relationship that your family didn't approve of?

Also, keep in mind that it's legal in California to marry your cousins...

Edit: let's get something straight Her Grandmother was the 3rd cousin of my grandfather but was adopted by my great grandparents at a young age and from that point had a daughter than her daughter had a daughter...

 

[Nova5]

All I can say is that, if you're serious, this is a massive mistake.

Edit: You're 17, she's 16. There are MANY other girls out there. Going public to your family with this will have lasting implications. Regardless of what the law is, the general attitude toward this kind of thing is worse than the attitude toward gay marriage in CA. Couple that with your age and the likelihood that no one in your family will even consider for a second that your feelings for each other will amount to anything (which, given the track record of teenage relationships, isn't exactly unfounded), it probably won't end well.

Sorry for the sort of knee-jerk reaction, but this hits a bit close to home. Had a friend that went down this road in high school, and he's not in great shape emotionally these days...

 

[RedPandaMan]

How close of a cousin? Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

It's legal in Colorado too.

I've been in more than one relationship that at least one family member didn't approve of, and I'm currently in one that my mom barely approves of (since it means I'll be moving far away).

If your family doesn't approve, well, you can't force them to. If you two are happy, then that's what matters. I hope it works out for you, my friend.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Iv been in Relationships, Friendships mind you, that my parents didn't approve of.
I just made sure my parents knew i respected their opinion but was still the persons friend.

You should tell your family, beating around the bush wont help at all.
Being honest and Open about it will help.

Though how closely related are you and your cousin?
If you don't mind me asking?

 

[Irridium]

Murder the family and run to Mexico

I'd say give it some time. If it turns out you are great together, then start thinking of how to tell your family. If it turns out you aren't that well together, then break it off and no one has to know.

I've never been in a situation like this, so I'm just saying what I would do.

 

[awsome117]

Love is love is it not. Although me personally, I find it a bit... weird (sorry if that sounds offensive :/) no one can stop you from having a relationship. So by all means, go for it.

 

[crudus]

Lets see, Albert Einstein's parents were cousins. Isaac Newtons parents were cousins, etc. Inbreeding doesn't get bad until the 15th generation or so anyway (unless you really stick to close relatives). I say do it if only to watch the chaos.

Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

I actually wouldn't be surprised at the number of people dating a 4th or 5th cousin and not knowing it.

 

[enzilewulf]

Well.. do you guys hold the same name? Like last name? Eh who cares. Loves love man. I even expieramented with my cousin.. A little when I was younger. We don't hold the same name. we never went out but you get the point. Also this is like a 16 year old pregnancy... give it some time be for your positive you guys love each other.

 

[rockingnic]

I say just watch out because if something goes wrong, she's still family. Until non-relatives, you'll might still see her often or something.

 

[monstersquad]

How closely related are you exactly? Because I think your family(ies) would find that to be an extremely uncomfortable to be around. But hey youse guys are young, so it's not entirely the end of the world and it sounds like your respective families aren't really that close, if you haven't seen her in a while.
In perspective, I once hooked up with my cousin, but she was my mom's half-brother's stepdaughter (I'm not making this up), so there was no blood relation (not a big deal) but the creep factor was there at least minimally, so we kept it somewhat hush-hush. Also, marrying your first cousin is legal here in Manitoba(Canada) too.

 

[Sacman]

How closely related are you exactly? Because I think your family(ies) would find that to be an extremely uncomfortable to be around. But hey youse guys are young, so it's not entirely the end of the world and it sounds like your respective families aren't really that close, if you haven't seen her in a while.
In perspective, I once hooked up with my cousin, but she was my mom's half-brother's stepdaughter (I'm not making this up), so there was no blood relation (not a big deal) but the creep factor was there at least minimally, so we kept it somewhat hush-hush. Also, marrying your first cousin is legal here in Manitoba(Canada) too.

How close of a cousin? Genetically, at around 4 or 5 it's okay, just a social taboo.

Were not related by blood but we are fairly close due to some adoption that happened farther up the family tree...

 

[conchshellthegeek7]

If your family doesn't approve, well, you can't force them to. If you two are happy, then that's what matters. I hope it works out for you, my friend.

Nice to see people on the Internet can still show compassion.

OT: I've never been in a relationship myself, so I wouldn't know, but I think you can make it work. I would just tell your family the truth, personally. Best of luck.

 

[numbersix1979]

Well if you're not related by blood and it's adoption . . . I mean don't get me wrong, people in your family might be a bit off-put by it but I don't really think it's such a big deal if you both really care about each other if it's not blood.

 

[VicunaBlue]

-And the banjos play-

As much as respect people's right to do whatever in relationships, this REALLY sounds like it's going someplace ugly.

 

[Lust]

Elope.

No..............too drastic.

I honestly don't know. Do what you feel you must.

 

[Cody211282]

-And the banjos play-

As much as respect people's right to do whatever in relationships, this REALLY sounds like it's going someplace ugly.

Like Alabama?

 

[Souplex]

I personally find it squicky.
It's fun for the whole family!

 

[WolfThomas]

Well umm...is she a first cousin?

I don't really know, at the risk of being conscending but you're both still kind of young and well crap I can't really put this into words how much I think it's probably a bad idea.

Edit: Oh so you're not blood related, that I guess helps. But I just can't help thinking about how awkward this would make family gathering, especially if you broke up. If you guys were a bit older it might be better, simply because people like your family are just going to see this as some sort of phase or youthful stupidity, even if it's really serious the perceptions still there.