So I'm going to try and stop saying "gay" and "fag"

[Torrasque]

Like just about any gamer, I swear and curse when really frustrated. CoD is usually the game to be on the receiving end of my wrath, especially MW3 with all its bullshit spawns and host advantage... But this thread isn't about CoD so I won't get into that. This thread is about being consistent, something that can be very hard at times.

I have no idea how frequently I use some profanity, but I know that I use "******", "fag", "gay" and other homosexual slurs. As someone that has absolutely no problem with homosexual people, I really don't like how I use these words, it is very inconsistent. Before you ask, no I don't have my mic on and am in game chat shouting "FUCKING ******!" at the screen, I am not one of those guys. I only have my mic on when I am playing with a friend, and we're usually in party chat or private chat.

For example, if I am on an awesome killstreak and am wrecking faces, then die because someone spawned behind me (MW3 spawns are that bad at times) I am likely to say "what the fuck? that is so gay!" In that setting, I am subconsciously associating "gay" with "bad" or "lame", which is really stupid and inconsistent to do.

So in an effort to be more consistent and make more sense to myself, I am actively trying to purge those words from my vocabulary.

So my fellow Escapists, what do you think of my quest? Waste of time or worthy endeavor?
For discussion value, do you have the same problem as I?

Edit: Adding this to my OP because it is the original discussion I had with my friend that sparked this thread.

Torrasque: What the actual fuck. Also, please do not call them fags

Lerthyr: I wish you could watch my previous game. Why? They are fags.

Torrasque: Starting this weekend I am going to cut back on my gay and fag calling

Lerthyr: LOL

Torrasque: You and I have no problem with gay people yes?

Lerthyr: What's gotten in to you? Nope

Torrasque: Just let me explain

Lerthyr: As long as they no hit on me im fine

Torrasque: Opening facebook, sec. Ok, this may be a bit confusing, but I'll try to make as much sense as I can. Rhetorical question: why do you call them gay and fags? Because it is a derogitory term. Not because they are homosexual, but because you associate a negative association with being "gay" and "fag". If you hated gay people, that would be alright. There'd be the problem with you hating gay people, but that is different. The problem is, you're being inconsistent. Also when I say "you" or "you're" I also mean myself.

Lerthyr: I'm calling them a bundle of sticks and/or a cigarette. Not homosexual.

Torrasque: Cuz I do it too

Lerthyr: /topic

Torrasque: Its a part of my language but I don't want it there anymore. Yeah of course you are /sarcasm. But do you see what I mean?

Lerthyr: I am!

Torrasque: You can call them cocksuckers or assholes or anything, but not gay or fags. Because that is inconsistent and stupid.

Lerthyr: It's a plague on society because when one person hears it by word of mouth he/she will associate something or someone classified as dumb, as being gay or a ******.

Torrasque: I know it is, but you and I are not conformists. Society should conform to us, not the other way around. I don't want to associate someone playing a stupid retarded way with being "a fag".

Lerthyr: Thats just the world we live in unfortunately. Conformism.

Torrasque: I refuse to conform

Lerthyr: For me, it's a bad habit of when I'm mad I call someone a douchebag or a ******

Torrasque: I do too, but I want to break that habit

Lerthyr: I only say those things when im mad

Torrasque: I'm the same way

Lerthyr: Some people say it even when they arent mad

Torrasque: It'll be hard to purge these words from my vocab, but I'm determined to do so

Lerthyr: ?oh well that was gay? I'm not quite that bad

Torrasque: But you see what I mean? "that was gay" In what way was that homosexual? It wasn't, it was just 'bad', it was something that I disliked.

Lerthyr: I use the word lame, to be honest

Torrasque: I don't want gay to = bad

Lerthyr: Also why do we call people douchebags? That implies the person is getting pussy, that's hardly an insult.

Torrasque: Because the word douchebag has become its own meaning. lol no it doesn't imply the person is getting pussy. It implies the person is a vaginal cleaning thing. Besides, douchebag has become its own thing; like fag is not a cigarette anymore.

Lerthyr: Douchebags go into pussy. If youre calling someone a douchebag, you are saying they get pussy. See where Im coming from?

Torrasque: But I still don't want to use fag or gay to call someone a stupid person. Douchebags hold the thing that goes into the pussy. A douche is what goes into a pussy.

Lerthyr: And another thing. You gotta cut retarded and retard out as well if you are cutting these words out

Torrasque: No I don't

Lerthyr: If something's retarded, that thing has a mental disability. It isn't stupid per se.

Torrasque: I still associate retard and retarded with bad

Lerthyr: ....

Torrasque: If someone is being retarded, they are operating with lower intelligence than normal

Lerthyr: That is being insensitive. Do you associate ****** with bad too then?

Torrasque: To hell with being sensitive to towards people with disabilities. Nope, I don't associate ****** with bad, because I'm not American
/thread

Lerthyr: Good. I'd have to defriend you if that's how you thought.

Torrasque: I associate a person using ****** with incompetence and ignorance and general lack of intelligence. They're being retarded (trololo) Every single time I hear someone say "******" as an insult, they lose points in my book.

Lerthyr: I still don't think you should say ?Oh, that's fucking retarded man.?

Torrasque: Thats fucking 'lack of intelligence' man, still works.

Lerthyr: It can't be that hard to say "ohh thats stupid/lame"

Torrasque: Stupid = lack of intelligence. Retard is an insult, thats what it is. A person that is retarded, is someone that lacks intelligence. A disabled person is different.

Lerthyr: Retarded doesn't always mean that though

Torrasque: They may be retarded, but that is something you assert on them, not the other way around. Name me one time that retarded doesn't mean something negative.

Lerthyr: Both of a persons legs could be disabled and that person is classified as retarded or mentally handicapped. He or she isnt stupid..

Torrasque: They are not classified as retarded. Handicapped yes, but only an insensitive person will classify them as retarded

Lerthyr: What if you had a relative that was retarded?

Torrasque: They wouldn't be, they'd be mentally handicapped. But I wouldn't call them retarded. That would put a negative connotation on them

Lerthyr: What if you had a relative that was retarded, and you heard someone say ?thats retarded? ? Wouldn't that irk you, even slightly?

Torrasque: Nope. Gay/fag =/= retarded

Lerthyr: Well for whatever reason one of my friend's mom's gives me a pep talk if and whenever she hears me say that. Because her brother is mentally retarded. So i have to watch what I say.

Torrasque: He is mentally handicapped, not mentally retarded

Lerthyr: He is retarded though, he has aspbergers

Torrasque: The only case where retard isn't negative, is in regards to engine retarder brakes

Lerthyr: Yes, or flame retardant gear

Torrasque: Yep. Retard only applies to inanimate objects in the non-negative sense. In the animate sense, it is an insult. So when she gets mad for you using retard, she is giving that connotation to him and being insulting to him, not you. So you should give her a pep talk for insulting her brother, lol

Lerthyr: This conversation is fucking gay and you're retarded. ******. TROLOLOLOL

Torrasque: omg...

Lerthyr: But yeah. I'll do my best to completely rid my vocabulary of those words we mentioned

Torrasque: Thank you

Lerthyr: I'm so gay we had this talk.

Torrasque: /facepalm

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Worthy endeavor, good for you sir. I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

Also, no I don't have a problem saying those words, it becomes habit like anything else.
I do have a problem with Mr. F word, I would like to stop saying that one.

 

[Fappy]

A commendable effort. I hope you succeed. Me? There is no way anyone can slow down my potty mouth. Impossible.

 

[ErwinGodfrey]

Nice to know that someone is trying to improve their tacked. If I tried that, it would only be moments before I was cheap shot'd by an enemy NPC and instinctively yelled, "GYAH! What the fuck, you colossal ******! Well any who, I'll wish you luck.

 

[oplinger]

Good on you. I advocate using words for what they actually mean, so I'm glad you're going to cut that crap out.

While you're at it, I hope you don't say rape as well. It'd be a bit weird to stop saying gay and fag, but leave that one.

 

[Able Seacat]

Kudos, here's hoping you succeed. I don't swear much (as far as I am aware) but I have no problem with people swearing. It can get annoying though when the the 'f' word is used before every other word like some people I've met.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Go luck. I don't use those words myself, but that's just because I never felt the need to, when a good old F-Bomb does the job.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

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[Torrasque]

Worthy endeavor, good for you sir. I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

Also, no I don't have a problem saying those words, it becomes habit like anything else.
I do have a problem with Mr. F word, I would like to stop saying that one.

Florence? Frivolous? Facetious? Fallacy?

A commendable effort. I hope you succeed. Me? There is no way anyone can slow down my potty mouth. Impossible.

Thats the worst part for me D:
I've been trying for a week now, and every time I slip, I go "oh that fag! Ah fuck I said it again... Damnit =/" So even when I am trying to clean up my language, it just gets worse xD

Good on you. I advocate using words for what they actually mean, so I'm glad you're going to cut that crap out.

While you're at it, I hope you don't say rape as well. It'd be a bit weird to stop saying gay and fag, but leave that one.

I won't be cutting out rape anytime soon. I'd rather not get into the whole "why is rape such a bad word?" discussion, but I don't think of it as bad enough to warrant purging.

Kudos, here's hoping you succeed. I don't swear much (as far as I am aware) but I have no problem with people swearing. It can get annoying though when the the 'f' word is used before every other word like some people I've met.

Again with the "f" word. What do you people have against Frankfurters, Fun, Freak and Feature?

Anyone who actually thinks you insult homosexual people with those derogatory terms is clearly quite racist/sexist/homophobic.

In the modern language, when they are used as curses, they don't actually mean that the person is homosexual, it mearly means that you dislike him/her.

Same thing about "Emo" for that matter.

Ah, but that is exactly what I mean, and I will explain with an example.

Say I play against a person who I shall call VenomFangX (a youtube asshole that I hate very much) and I call him X when he kills me, meaning to insult his skill at the game. Lets say he uses the MK14 with a modded controller, so he is especially X. It doesn't matter what X is, because I am associating "bad" and "dislike" with X. So if I was calling him a "fag", then "fag" would have the negative connotation on it. It wouldn't work if I was calling him "a swell guy" because that doesn't have a negative connotation on it; sure I could turn anything into an insult if I used it enough (I call my little brother a dingbat and it drives him insane even after all these years), but "fag" already has that negative stigma from society. I am essentially calling VenomFangX a person that is homosexual. If they were in fact homosexual, then calling them a homosexual would have no effect. If I still kept calling him a fag despite knowing that he is in fact homosexual, then that would mean that I attach negativity to being homosexual.

My problem arises with the fact that I have nothing against homosexuals. I am fine with insulting VenomFangX's gameplay in any way imaginable, but to call him something that I don't think is negative, but am somehow using as an insult[/I], makes absolutely no sense.

I hope that made sense, I kind of haven't slept since 5pm yesterday.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

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[Launcelot111]

Worthy endeavor, good for you sir. I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

Also, no I don't have a problem saying those words, it becomes habit like anything else.
I do have a problem with Mr. F word, I would like to stop saying that one.

Florence? Frivolous? Facetious? Fallacy?

I dunno, this is all I can think of.


OT: I've tried doing this with much of my spoken language. I find more pleasure with voicing the same insult in a much more polite and eloquent way. Instead of "whatever, go kill yourself, you fucking fag" like I hear half the time online, I instead politely request that my opponent should set down his controller and take a moment to fellate a shotgun. When I'm actually being serious in my anger, not copping out with fag or dick or ***** or whatever actually makes me have to search for the proper words with which to criticize someone, which makes me think harder on why I'm actually mad at them. Either way, never a bad idea to clean up your language.

 

[JimB]

I certainly see where you're coming from, but the words "fag, gay, ******" have, in this society, been reduced to the same meaning as "dickbag" or something.

I was about to argue with your assessment of what those words mean, but screw that, it's not worth it. I'm just going to ask you why exactly you feel compelled to argue in defense of these words; what concepts they convey so exclusively that you need to defend their use against people who feel offended by them.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

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[Ando85]

I remember in high school 10 years ago a teacher pointed out to students that just because something is bad or undesirable it isn't "gay". That t shirt is so gay. T-shirts don't have sexual orientations. They are inanimate objects.

I used to catch myself saying it just because I've heard it so much. But, I have purged it from my vocabulary. Sure I will say gay for its intended use just as an attribute of someone, but I will never again use it as a slur.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

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