So I'm going to try and stop saying "gay" and "fag"

[Torrasque]

Either everyone will start using 'fag' and the like in a generic way that has nothing to do with gays (much like 'lame' and 'moron' and 'idiot' were all medical terms for mental or physical impairment).

I believe in many circles we've already reached this stage - ESPECIALLY in gaming circles. Probably hard to believe but bear with me here...the majority of gamers actually look down upon those who express their hate for homosexuals, try typing anything anti-gay into public chat and you'll quickly get put on a lot of people's ignore lists (if not outright flamed back). Unless we're talking about the Call of Duty community.
But most gaming communities are still totally fine to throw the word "gay" and "fag" around.

This hints toward the fact that we've *mostly* already stopped associating fag/gay with netagive/derogatory intentions towards homosexuals. It really makes no logical sense to try and OFFEND someone over the internet by indirectly calling them "homosexual!", because either they are (which just makes it sillier) or they're not (they'll just shrug it off). It's just not relevant as an offensive word anymore.

Simply calling someone "stupid" is actually FAR more offensive to them than calling them gay/fag. It's true. If someone said to me "are you stupid?" I will immediately react by replying "what? what did I do? why are you calling me that?" meanwhile if they say "you're gay / a fag!" I won't even bother reacting. It means nothing. It's like saying "you're a jug of water!". It would make no sense to get offended by that, at all.

All very good points. I agree with pretty much all you said, I just still want to cut these words out of my vocabulary because I am sick of thinking "how the hell is sitting in a corner with a modded controller and extended mags RSASS homosexual?" and the like.

Now, I, personally, am a fag, and have no issue with the use of words used as insults when they clearly are not being used in homophobic ways. However, many of my fellow fags do take offense to that, and I think it is a very noble goal to stop saying things along those lines.

What
I was under the impression that calling a homosexual a fag was akin to a non-black person calling a black person a ******. Thats odd that you don't take offense to it.

 

[Torrasque]

Like just about any gamer, I swear and curse when really frustrated. CoD is usually the game to be on the receiving end of my wrath, especially MW3 with all its bullshit spawns and host advantage... But this thread isn't about CoD so I won't get into that. This thread is about being consistent, something that can be very hard at times.

I have no idea how frequently I use some profanity, but I know that I use "******", "fag", "gay" and other homosexual slurs. As someone that has absolutely no problem with homosexual people, I really don't like how I use these words, it is very inconsistent. Before you ask, no I don't have my mic on and am in game chat shouting "FUCKING ******!" at the screen, I am not one of those guys. I only have my mic on when I am playing with a friend, and we're usually in party chat or private chat.

For example, if I am on an awesome killstreak and am wrecking faces, then die because someone spawned behind me (MW3 spawns are that bad at times) I am likely to say "what the fuck? that is so gay!" In that setting, I am subconsciously associating "gay" with "bad" or "lame", which is really stupid and inconsistent to do.

So in an effort to be more consistent and make more sense to myself, I am actively trying to purge those words from my vocabulary.

So my fellow Escapists, what do you think of my quest? Waste of time or worthy endeavor?
For discussion value, do you have the same problem as I?

Spoiler: This image is of a Pony, but it is the only appropriate face I can find

I never thought I would see the day. I've actually had my faith in humanity strengthened by this. You sir, get all of my respect.

All of your respect? Thanks! I'll spend it all at the arcade the next time I go

What you need to start doing is inventing new curse words to say. This is the 21st century, can't you whipper snaps be more creative with your insults and expletive. Or at least bring back classic obscure references like nerf hurter. I mean we brought Frak back, surely there's some others to include.

How about talking like a Beast Wars transformer when your mad? Aw, slag! By the Matrix! Well, that's just prime. We're all gonna die. Yesss...

I actually really want to do that now. I fucking loved Beast Wars, and Cheetor cursing was the best.

I'm just going to throw out there, that cocksucker is a bad insult. It shouldn't really be considered insulting. It is, but it shouldn't be. Anyone that likes men will eventually have this apply to them. And the men they're with will generally be very very happy about it, so they shouldn't want to use it as an insult, seeing as it's so awesome for them.

Also, the opposite gender version of it sounds just as bad or worse.

As George Carlin said, "why is that when a man is a cocksucker, it is bad, but when a woman is a cocksucker, its good?"

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

So my fellow Escapists, what do you think of my quest? Waste of time or worthy endeavor?
For discussion value, do you have the same problem as I?

While your free to do as you wish, I think its a waist of time to try to fight the semantic shift. The shift has occured, so regardless of whether you say it or not, people will still use those words. *shrug*

 

[Jynthor]

This won't matter in the end. Words are wind, ser.

 

[217not237]

Now, I, personally, am a fag, and have no issue with the use of words used as insults when they clearly are not being used in homophobic ways. However, many of my fellow fags do take offense to that, and I think it is a very noble goal to stop saying things along those lines.

What
I was under the impression that calling a homosexual a fag was akin to a non-black person calling a black person a ******. Thats odd that you don't take offense to it.

Well, the way I see it, words are meaningless, but intent isn't. If the intent of the word isn't homophobic, then the word itself isn't.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

It's a step in the right direction I suppose. I mean, you can't fault any path of self betterment and yours sounds solid and worthwhile. If your not saying those words anymore because you're genuinely pro-love (or whatever it's called when you're in support of the LGBT community) than why not take that extra step and stop eating at Chik-fil-A too? Just an idea: if your focus is focused exclusively on your own vocabulary then stopping yourself saying those words is a good way to start.

 

[Nouw]

Any word can be offensive, I have no problem with people using "gay", "fag" or pretty much any other word for that matter as an insult. On the other hand, I do have a problem with people who actually discriminate against homosexuals.

Words are just words, and it's the meaning behind what you say that matters, not the specific vocabulary you use in order to convey that meaning. "Gay" originally meant happy, and "Fag" is just another word for "Cigarette" where I live. As long as you don't actually judge people by their sexuality I say you should use whatever words you want, and screw (have sex with?) any bastard (person born with parents out of wedlock?) who gives you shit (... ?) for it.

Seconded.

However, I will still restrain myself from saying it around people I know will be offended. Is that a fallacy? I mean, I don't want to be a prick and upset them but at the same time I feel that it shouldn't be a big deal because I'm not using it as a derogatory term for homosexuals. Someone help me out here.

 

[Ed Classified]

I've started doing this too a few months ago,
but I was surprised and somewhat embarrassed about how often I used homophobic slurs.
I stopped calling people gay after high-school so that wasn't the problem.
My biggest problem was the use of the word Gay instead of Bad, even when I watched my language I subconsciously did it.

Even though I usually just use these slurs when I get bad news or when a piece of electronics doesn't do what I ask of it,
I still feel a little stupid for saying it.
Now a couple of months in I managed to cut it down somewhat, I've started saying fuck, ass and asshole a lot.
I'm not saying that, that's a good thing but baby steps people.

 

[JWRosser]

I say "fag" an awful lot, but I in no way whatsoever mean it as a discrimination against homosexuals. To be honest, the connotations of "fag" have changed. I don't think anyone now really uses it to mean a gay person - it's just an insult. South Park did an episode on it. When I call someone a "fag" I'm not calling them gay, and, in turn, I'm also not insulting gay people.

 

[hoboman29]

I commend what you're doing because its the little kids who say "gay" and "fag" that gives respectable gamers a bad name. Your taking a step to not only improve yourself but gamers overall.

 

[Humble Grapefruit]

It also means that you in your subconcious still consider homosexuality an insult.

It really doesn't.
Because, at least when I call people something like that, I don't have a single thought about homosexuality ever, only that I jokingly call someone a bad word.

My point is, as an insult, "gay", "******", etc has got nothing to do with homosexuality anymore.
In the same way "gay" doesn't mean happy anymore. At all.

Yup. It has gotten to the point where it is rarely ever associated with homosexuality. When it is used, it has no connotation towards it and is just a general insult.

 

[itsthesheppy]

Speaking as someone who had the word 'gay' and '******' used against him as a kid, I myself never use it because I have some small, vague understanding of how it can be hurtful. I'm not homosexual; I can only imagine it would have hurt that much worse if I was.

As a result, I never use it. My small gamer clan used to all use it fairly frequently, until one day I mentioned that it bothered me. There was a bit of a discussion and disagreement, but over time they've stopped using it because they know it puts me off.

That was a couple years ago. Just recently one of our old members came back and was using the word. I never said a thing, and I don't think anyone else did either; but I get the impression he realized that he was saying it a lot and nobody else was. So one day he said, "Wow, I say that word a lot, huh?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I wasn't gonna say anything because I don't wanna be that guy, but it does sorta bother me."

"Oh," he said, sounding honestly surprised. "Okay, I'll try not to anymore. It gets thrown around a lot in the military." [He's a soldier]

We went right on gaming, and he doesn't use the word anymore.

Whenever I bring up in forums how rape language, or homophobic language is bad and people go YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO CENSOR FREE SPEECH, I have to shake my head. Because in our channel, we curse like sailors and tell rude jokes and whatever. But by simple virtue of the fact that it's become sort of an understanding that certain words can be hurtful and make others uncomfortable, we just don't use them, and nothing is lost.

So, OP: good on you. I think you may find the journey to discover new colorful cursewords a fun one. I've settled, recently, on "assbag". I like it. Also "fucksucker". That one just feels good to say.

 

[spartan231490]

I'm with CK Louis on this one. I would never call someone a ****** because they were gay. I call them a ****** because . . . because they're being a fucking ******.

Ironically, I don't use ****** that often, I have stronger curses in my repetoir that feel better in my mouth, but I do say, that's so gay, a lot. And I say it for exactly the reason stated above. Deal with it.

 

[TheDolphin]

To all of you who think this is not a big deal like Mick Golden Blood, ForgottenPr0digy, JWRosser, Humble Grapefruit, spartan231490, Lumber Barber or TheNamlessGuy, this is not about you.

This is NOT about whether you see it as an insult, whether you associate it with homosexuality or not.

This is NOT about what you think the word should mean or how you want to change the meaning of the word for everyone else.

This is NOT about "those gay friends" you have and they are totally okay with it. Exceptions exist, and gay people can be wrong and homophobic, too.

This is about other people at the other end of the conversation, and people who are watching/listening it without participating in it. Always remember that the real audience of what you're saying is often not the one you're talking to. And you never truly knows if someone is offended by it or not, no matter what they say when you ask them.

This is about a whole population of people questioning their sexuality, who already don't have it easy in our society. Who have to stand through the vocabulary confusion have to suffer through the unjustified stigmatization of their sexual orientation.

This is about people who deserve to grow up with games, gamers and people in general that don't implicitly attack their sexual orientation. Because whether you want it of not, "gay" and "fag" still do have other meanings than curse words to the majority of the population. This is true, this is a fact in our actual society, no matter what carefully constructed homophobic-free universe South Park has build. *Our* universe is still homophobic. And by supporting a language where those words are moving towards a curse word meaning, you contribute into associating the idea that being a gay person is a bad thing to other people. It's not the fact that it might have a different meaning in the future, it's the fact that now it still has a meaning for the majority of people, and the transition is very hard to live through for people who are or care about homosexual persons and shouldn't be encouraged.

The heterosexual population have plenty of privileges that they don't realize, and that even some homosexual people might have some of those privilieges, most of them don't. To name a few:

- If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.
- When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
- I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.
- I don't have to defend my heterosexuality.
- If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.
- I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.

You can see the whole list here, it does offer a very good insight of what being a gay person really means:
http://sap.mit.edu/content/pdf/heterosexual_privilege.pdf

I'm glad you all came to terms with it. But others might not have, and they are the ones who need our help and support. And that's where all of us come in. In help and support is where all of us are important. Congratulations to the original poster and to everyone who takes the same decision.

 

[thiosk]

I try not to use gay as an adjective, but I grew up in the 90s.

It was a different time.

 

[Blade_125]

Good for you. I would suggest using other curse words that don't have a negative conotation to a specific group of people. I've always stuck with that and it seems to work.

 

[Lunar Shadow]

Good onyou, I personally need to work on my volume. Swearing not so much as I try to be somewhat cretive, but it's still not appreciated when you are yelling "YOU SYPHILITIC, BOWLEGGED, DOCK SIDE STRUMPET!" at 3 am >>

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Well I don't get all super offended when a guy calls another guy the c word even though it has pretty bad connotations against women.

Maybe I should I don't know.