thebobmaster said:
I prefer the terms "supportive" and "empathetic."
Edit: ALso, this may be a bit of a shock to you, but being boyfriend and girlfriend, or boy/boy, or girl/girl, is a bit of a higher step than "buddies", and should be treated as such. If you treat your woman or man like you treat your buddies, then you may have a good friend, but probably not really any good the next step up.
Being a wife it's interesting to be on the other side of this. My husband, during our relationship, has never been the kind of guy to bow to my every whim, this makes me respect him and (strangely enough) find him more attractive. He has never been mean, disrespectful or unkind in this however.
When we were dating if I said 'you wanna do something on X day' if he had other plans then HE HAD OTHER PLANS. I wouldn't have dared phone him while he was hanging out with his bestest buddies (who he doesn't see that often coz they all live a little distance from each other) because he deserves that time to be a man with his men.
Having said that I would occasionally send him 'naughty' text messages to let him know he was on my mind if we weren't together.
I've never had a serious crisis in my life while I've been with him, things were a little bit rough at home for a while and he told me if I ever needed him he would just come get me and take me away, thankfully I never had to take him up on it but it was enough to know he *would* be there if I needed him to be, I didn't need to have him on the phone every five minutes.
One of his best friends is a really outgoing, life of the party kinda guy. His wife, who is adorable, not quiet but just not quite as extroverted understands that is who he is. Pressumably thats part of why she loves him. If she is tired at a party, or "has a headache" like the original post suggests, she'll let him know and take herself off - providing he has a way to get home. Sometimes some mates go with her, sometimes her husband will say "I'd rather be with you" but like some of you have already said its give and take, it's sometimes, not all the time.
I wouldn't want my other half to spend all of his time with me - what would we talk about if we didn't have part of our lives elsewhere. He'll come home and tell me all about his janut with the guys and I'll tell him what I've been up to wit my mates or whatever. Not only does it make for interesting conversation but it's great to kinda 'reconnect' after some time apart, whether it's a couple of hours or if one of us is away for a weekend. It's healthy to have some time apart - IMO. I don't think women really respect men that they can control all the time, women don't want to be dominated or patronised so why should we do it to guys?
Chaps, I say stand up for yourselves, if there are already plans and your woman wants some time with you it is OK to say sorry, not tomorrow night I'm out with the guys but how about X. That last part is important, you aren't just shutting her down, saying no. You are letting her know she is important and you want to make space for her in your life - without handing her the keys to your rear end!!
