So, my family is homophobic.

[Grathius22]

My family is also quite homophobic and very heated discussions often crop up in the house. Especially with this Chik-fil-a situation that has been going on. It usually degrades into a shouting match which then goes into religion and even into really deep politics.

At the end of the day, my family still loves me and I still love my family. It's not a big deal, they're people and they have opinions that differ from yours or even the majority of the world.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, deal with it. Just let them think what they want to think and you think what you want to think, because in the grand scheme of things... none of you will ever know if you were the right one, and it is very rare for someone to just change their mind.

 

[chiggerwood]

What they're feeling is perfectly reasonable. You see they don't don't want to catch the gay virus; me personally, I'm just waiting until they develop a vaccine for they gay. It's such a tragic disease one day you're a normal vagina loving man, and then you get too close to one of the gays, and BAM! You're suddenly wearing assless chaps, and dancing in a rave while a skinny Filipino gives you a rim job. Damn you science why do you continue to fail us? How many more of our sons must suffer the indignity of knowing how to match curtains with couches before you listen? How many?

 

[Winthrop]

What you need to do is to give them a good lashing.

They won't have enough time to be homophobic when they're picking cotton on them fields.

Of course, this is all hinging on you being a plantation owner in the 1800's.

I laughed so hard at this. No idea why.

OT: Its your family. Not much you can do and if you ruin the relationship its hard to fix and you cannot really get another family. I mean don't do anything rash. Let them know you feel differently and try to avoid the topic.

 

[The White Hunter]

No, I don't want to rush the moving out process or make a run for Canada because while this topic is a bit upsetting to me, they usually don't act like idiots and this is just a very disturbing exception that I needed to get out of my system. I should mention that at least they're not racist too, or we would have an even bigger problem.

Don't rush it then but you'll probably just need to tolerate it sadly.

And from what I've been told by canadians I've met they have pretty shitty homophobia stuff going on there too.

My recommendation would be Sweden, because I'm yet to meet a Swede influenced by religion in any form beyond disdain for religion.

Remember where Texas is, it's not very close to Sweden and besides, my concept of Sweden is a country filled with a million people who sound like PewDiePie (because I spend way too much time on the Internet). Maybe I'll try Mexico; hold on for a second.

(gets on bus)
(crosses border)
(finds local hotel)
(gets shot by cartels in nearby turf war)
(crawls back onto bus)
(applies pressure to wound)
(gets home)
(turns laptop on)

Nope, that didn't work either. Crap.

Sorry I totally skipped over the Texas part of your post and knowing it now explains a lot.

Sweden has a lot of athiests and very nice people. If I recall Canada is pretty fucking far away too for you.

I'll also point out that homophobia is probably a pretty big thing in Mexico too.

 

[Senare]

My opinion the hate issue: Hating a group, even if you are sure that they are wrong, is not necessarily your best option because feelings can seriously cloud your judgement and make you susceptible to manipulation by "we vs. them". You will start to see what your feelings want you to see (and quite literally so - read up on your subconscious), and your feelings (hate) ultimately just want to see the despair of your enemies and not a well implemented solution. Hate is a useful feeling for other things like survival, not so great for high quality decision-making.

 

[Benni88]

My folks are Catholic, the pretty old school kind as well (Italian mother and an Irish father). They are against homosexuality, pre-marital sex and a whole host of other things which I have taken for granted as being acceptable and normal in the modern age.

They are however, very kind people. My dad reads a lot on philosophy and other religions, and although he disagrees with some of these issues because of his religion, he still treats people with respect. For him, people are people, and even if you disagree with him on some fundamental issues, it doesn't change the fact that you are still entitled to the same human rights as he is.

I'd encourage you to try and get your parents to read (could be films or documentaries) into some topics which might change their thinking about the variety of human experience. Whether its notes or studies on cultures which are very different to your own, or biographies of exceptional individuals who persevered through adversity. The key is to help them see how different doesn't have to be worse.

 

[Andre Rapp]

Now, if you've read a few of my posts, you probably know that I live in Texas because I just keep mentioning it for some reason. Texas is part of Southern America, and tends to retain most of the hyper conservatism that has been associated with the area. My family, sadly, is no different.

snip

since you live in texas and are normal "conservative" types, can i assume your family is also christian?
if that is the case then the bible states specifically that homosexuality is a sin, however it lumps it in with numerous other sins such as adultery, jealously, greed, ect. essentially the problem is that homosexuality has been bloated out of proportions, yes, it is a sin according to christian beliefs, but there are plenty of things that we all do all the time that could be considered just as bad.

instead of using the old arguments of "how is it hurting you?" just tell them they should only judge if they themselves have committed no sin. since they obviously have, tell them that in the eyes of there own god, they are no better then the gays.


as for myself, I'm a proud Libertarian, and am of the opinion that the government should not have any say in what marriage means one way or the other, and leave it up to the people, however a christian that holds the idea that homosexuality is ok is by definition a hypocrite.

 

[RichardThompson]

I tend to just ignore it, however for me the only person i'm aware of in my family being homophobic is my father, although he's not violently opposed to them, he just makes loads of snide gestures and says thing that clearly show he's homophobic... which can get very annoying.

So I can't really help you out since you family seems a lot more homophobic than mine is... however I would just try my best to ignore because you obviously aren't going to be able to convince them since they're so stuck in their beliefs that they won't listen to anything you have to say.

Speaking as someone in his late teens I can fully understand why people hate teenagers.

The others not so much.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Coming a bit late to this, but:

You are fully justified in rationally hating people who irrationally hate others.

But you aren't going to change them. Nothing you can say or do is likely to affect their viewpoints. The only thing you can do is make them disown you.

Now, this is where I'm supposed to say that's what you should do, that you shouldn't tolerate intolerance, make a moral stand etc. But losing your family over a moral issue that doesn't directly affect you...yeah, there's always going to be reasons to avoid doing that, and I couldn't blame you for taking them.

 

[Thespian]

I think all you can do is say that you abhor their beliefs and that's simply because you disagree with hating any group of people for being what they fundamentally must be. Beyond that, just avoid arguments. Repeat that phrase no matter what superstitious hate they spew. You've got to stick to your morals.

Or, for lolz, say "Yes, I think gays are disgusting and I hate them" and then start cross-dressing. Just to see their reaction.

 

[DeltaEdge]

There are lots of versus in the Bible that actually address exactly what your parents are doing. Assuming that they are Christian, I would suggest asking to have a serious conversation about the Bible and then point out some key points like "hate sin not the sinner", address exactly how the Bible defines homosexuality, make clear the distinction between love and lust, and other points like how it says you shouldn't judge others because you are equally as bad. Just sit them down, find these parts in the Bible, and talk with your parents about them without being accusatory or telling them point blank, "you are wrong for thinking this way" because no one likes being told they are wrong and will likely start to close up and disregard what you are saying if you act like a jerk about it. That's about the best advice I can give, and if they refuse to even listen to the bible, then there are some serious problems with their Christianity as well and not much can be done about that.

 

[mxfox408]

First off, I would like to say that I WOULD post this in R&P, but the last time I went in there, everybody started telling me that their opinions were right and every single one of my opinions were wrong, so I generally want to stay far away from those woods as possible.

Now, if you've read a few of my posts, you probably know that I live in Texas because I just keep mentioning it for some reason. Texas is part of Southern America, and tends to retain most of the hyper conservatism that has been associated with the area. My family, sadly, is no different.

Now, I consider my self a bit on the fence (Oh God I hate that figure of speech) when it comes to politics, and I generally regard topics like homosexuality to be of neutral importance to me as I haven't been able to fully pick a side yet. My family, however, is homophobic to a point where I couldn't even have reasonable discussion with them on the topic because "OMG THEY HAVE SEX IN THE BUTT". They believe in the Slippery Slope argument (if we let them marry, what's stopping pedophiles marrying kids derp da herp) and regard any gay couple sexual demons even if they don't believe in sodomy in the first place.

They've gone to lengths to let me know that if I ever came out of the closet, they would absolutely disown me, and it makes me feel bad that they would say something like that so easily and still come back to assure me that they love me completely.

Now, usually this would only be a mild disturbance, but I feel that whenever I dispute their logical fallacies or stick up for good people who happen to be gay that they will feel that I have betrayed them by sticking up for the LIBERALS (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN) or they will feel that I am becoming gay myself.

How could I be able to dispute their random acts of stupidity (they're generally smart people) without getting casted away because I've been "brainwashed" by the "liberal (ahem, DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN) media"?

Also, I should mention that my dad was one of the people who took the "Bush head" thing on Game of Thrones seriously just to give you an idea of how much B.S. they will believe.

Calling people names like biggot, homophobe, puto or ****** will make your arguments fall on deaf ears since labels as such are meant to put down the other group that disagrees with you. It also makes you look like an immature idiot on both sides regardless of what either side states following the insult. You cannot argue a point when someone has a belief that goes against your argument rearguardless of the facts if someone has a deep belief you cannot change it, period. Best thing to do is to agree to disagree, that's atleast what mature people can do. I just wish more people would do that, then there whould be less immature bickering that even politician's tend to fall into. So don't even try to convince your familia, you won't evEr get anywhere, trust me it happens when I argue points against some uninformed liberal's.

Personally I disagree with homosexual marriage, as marriage is a religious term. Hold on let me finish before labeling me as a biggot, I however do think across the board the state should no longer call it marriage. Yes that's right on both sides, it should be called joined or civil union for both gay and straight couples. Then if you want to have a marriage ceromony in church the church would call it a marriage if they want. That way both parties can get what they want, the same recognition by the state as an equal, while preserving the term marriage for the religious believers. I however had this discussion in the past and got flack and that led me to believe ethe homosexual groups are not after equality, but to force the church to do what they don't believe in. That atleast is what I feel based on the reactions I received from the defenders of gay marriage. Thoughts?

 

[Fappy]

My step-dad is against gay marriage. His sister is a lesbian and has a girlfriend.

AWKWARD!

 

[Samsont]

What you need to do is to give them a good lashing.

They won't have enough time to be homophobic when they're picking cotton on them fields.

Of course, this is all hinging on you being a plantation owner in the 1800's.

I actually laughed for like five minutes at this. Good god.

But on topic, I really just find that the best way to talk about topics related homosexuality with homophobic people is to just not do it at all. My grandmother is homophobic (I can't really blame her considering she's almost 80 years old and the nicest god damn person I know), and we can still talk about stuff just fine. We just simply don't talk about it.

 

[MysticToast]

Simply: don't become the thing you dislike. Be a force of love, not hate, and that's the best you can do.

Love doesn't win wars.

If everyone adopted Boudica's philosophy, we wouldn't have wars.

 

[Ledan]

Sometimes it's hard to argue with your family, simply because some of them refuse to listen to you. Like your parents, they can be smart and intelligent but on some topics they will simply not budge, even if you provide rational arguments.

My parents are very liberal, but my mother won't budge on the legalization on cannabis. Whenever I broach the subject she uses the same arguments and ignores mine -_-. Probably something similar going on. Ingrained opinion that it's bad, hard to change.

 

[Ickorus]

I'm assuming you're a teenager so my post is worded with that assumption in mind.

What I would suggest is you respect their views however wrong you feel they are and for the moment keep your mouth shut (meant in the nicest possible way), when you're an adult you can then start expressing your views as you feel necessary but try to keep things mild and non-confrontational.

Remember, not everyone needs to be a crusader in these matters and sometimes the bigger difference is made by a gentle push rather than a hard shove.

 

[Ledan]

Simply: don't become the thing you dislike. Be a force of love, not hate, and that's the best you can do.

Love doesn't win wars.

Love is the only way to win a war; you don't define victory by number of dead, but by spiritual conviction.

-_-

The victorious side is whichever one is in charge after the war. Doesn't matter if they lost more guys or if the other side had more conviction. The Romans won in England because they were then in charge of the area, Boudica was not in charge(sorry, couldn't resist).