[HEADING=2]HELL YEAH![/HEADING]Tharwen said:
On Topic, that sucks. I think that's illegal, isn't it?
So, My Friend is Engaged... To a Psycho..
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On Topic, that sucks. I think that's illegal, isn't it?
He is an asshole though. After they split up he was saying that she was messing him around and he dumped her, despite her friends being in the area when SHE did the dumping. He was then saying to people that she said she still liked him but wasn't sure about her feelings, and then got drunk and tried to make out with her 3 months later, claiming he was still in love with her after getting out of a relationship with another one of my mates. His group of friends now are basically scum, one of them being accused of rape in the past. If that isn't an asshole then what is?UnmotivatedSlacker said:
That's what we call self defense, at least here in Finland, which means that if anybody comes at you you are allowed to, at the same amount of force (or a bit more), make sure that you are not harmed in any way, ACCORDING TO LAW!!! I am saying going around beating up people is not good, not against women or men, doesn't matter about gender but this topic was about a man hitting a woman so I simply was talking about the topic here, no need for lecturing me.reggaerae said:
Same answer to you as to the one I quoted above!!!AngloDoom said:
In what way is that sexist? I am not saying women are weak or anything because they aren't so please explain why you are so offended by my post? I am just keeping on topic here about the man hitting the woman and my thoughts about it!! If you would've read a little more about what people have quoted me you would've noticed that I changed some facts about my post, but I was simply on topic.Danzaivar said:
And what's a "misogynist" can't find the translation to my mother tongue, I am simply wondering in what way you are harassing me, that just makes you equally bad as me!!! ^^
OP - Sadly, if she's in this far it's going to be like trying to help a hardcore drug addict. She's addicted and nobody will be able to help her until she asks for help. If it worked any other way every woman who shows up at the ER looking like she went twelve rounds with Tyson would be saved. It's sad, it's hard, it's reality.
Make yourself available, tell her when she talks you will listen and then do it. The second she expresses doubt about him (or even better a desire to leave) you jam you metaphorical hand into that crack in her armor and do not let it close. Pull it open, ask your friends to help you do it if it's too heavy to do alone. It's like pulling a flailing four hundred pound person out of quicksand when they are sunk up to their neck.
Until that chance appears though, you have to play the waiting game.
Make yourself available, tell her when she talks you will listen and then do it. The second she expresses doubt about him (or even better a desire to leave) you jam you metaphorical hand into that crack in her armor and do not let it close. Pull it open, ask your friends to help you do it if it's too heavy to do alone. It's like pulling a flailing four hundred pound person out of quicksand when they are sunk up to their neck.
Until that chance appears though, you have to play the waiting game.
SsilverR said:
NO WAY :O :O a walrus???? omg omg omg hehe
OT: take her away from him for 1 or 2 weeks with only friends and family, then get her stuck with him (only the both of them) for 1 or 2 weeks. IF he is that bad she will see the diference.
i like direct aproachs! you like...so you like, You dont like...You really really dont like
More likely she'll spend 20 years with this guy going back and forth, saying she'll leave, maybe even leaving for a little while to spend time with the family and friends before crawling back to this jerk.arc1991 said:
If some guy is being physically abusive and then the girl gets engaged to him, she's messed up. She's got Stockholm Syndrome (domestic version) or something. It seems like people in those kinds of abusive situations, especially if they willingly marry somebody AFTER taking the brunt of abuse, don't usually want to get out of those spots. Sad, but it seems like people don't have much common sense sometimes.
Maybe she wanted to get "hit," but not bruised or seriously injured by a person who is probably stronger than her. If a bodybuilder was a very good friend of mine, I might play a game like this with him, but I would not expect him to crush my spine with his vast strength, now would I? Maybe it's "fair" to punch everyone the same way, but it's not very nice to hit ANYONE too hard. I don't hit girls, and it annoys the CRAP out of me when they think they can get away with hitting me. Girls or guys, nobody's hitting me. And if I'm playing a "hitting" game, the other players better freaking play nice.UnmotivatedSlacker said:
She probably shouldn't have been playing, but would you want to be left out? The assumption on her part was (I imagine) that she wouldn't be getting punched by Ali. That it was just a fun game.
I would liken it to the analogy of the handshake handcrusher. Now, among friends it is acceptable for guys (and girls I guess) test each other's mighty claws by squeezing hands until one person's hand is kaput and the other one claims victory. It is not acceptable behavior to EVER initiate the handcrusher game without the knowledge or approval of the other person, and NEVER with someone who is obviously weaker, or with a stranger. Why not with someone weaker? BECAUSE THEY ARE WEAKER. If somebody isn't at a physical level where they can compete with you, you're being a jerk if you go full-out 100% and completely steamroll them. Winning is fine, but don't be a jerk about it, y'know?
Maybe the boyfriend should have warned her the game was going to get rough, ever thought of that?
Not nearly as bad as the OP story, but my brother's friend (who I guess I can call my friend) got engaged recently. Nobody particularly likes the girl, and a few weeks/months back she was borderline threatening to leave him because he hadn't popped the question. I'm think he legitimately loves her, but I'm still kind of on the fence on how to feel about it all.
Misogynist is basically someone who is sexist.Guffe said:
So if holding doors open for women (and not men) is sexist, someone who holds doors open is being a misogynist.
Sorry if you felt offended by my post, it was meant to be sarcastic (The 'Etc.' was meant to imply I was bored of my statement by the time I'd finished it). Was just trying to show the viewpoint your typical feminist would take to your post.
Makes me think of my dad.
His first GF I wish was my mom. nicest person I ever met.
second IS my mom, and shes OK... for two years now. before that she was a raging druggie.
third and current is the worst person Ive ever met. doesn't care about anyone, physically violent, doesn't let dad see me very often, swears for no FUCKING reason, and still claims WE are in the wrong. What? are we supposed to fucking WORSHIP her? we still need her to extent, but the new, less insane version of my mother is preferable to this hitlerette, but thats not an option as MOM has a BF who keeps a steady flow of cash coming in that we would lose if mom left him.
His first GF I wish was my mom. nicest person I ever met.
second IS my mom, and shes OK... for two years now. before that she was a raging druggie.
third and current is the worst person Ive ever met. doesn't care about anyone, physically violent, doesn't let dad see me very often, swears for no FUCKING reason, and still claims WE are in the wrong. What? are we supposed to fucking WORSHIP her? we still need her to extent, but the new, less insane version of my mother is preferable to this hitlerette, but thats not an option as MOM has a BF who keeps a steady flow of cash coming in that we would lose if mom left him.
Oh, no biggie then, But the problem I see with feminists is that they have taken the shit too far. I am a feminist in the way that everyone should be treated equally but when you start looking for small flaws like for example in my country the word for fire fighter is "fire man" if you translate it with the exact words and some extreme feminists are saying that's it's wrong and so on.
Sorry for miss interpreting your post ^^. I understand sarcasm just fine but it's a bit hard over the internet when there's no body language to interpret, just the words. No harm done.
Sorry for miss interpreting your post ^^. I understand sarcasm just fine but it's a bit hard over the internet when there's no body language to interpret, just the words. No harm done.
My mom married a psycho that knocked her up, took the kid back to old country, and held him for ransom. My mom had to sell our house to pay it, and he's had psychological problems ever since. The father now lives in America, is fabulously wealthly, and can't be touched legally.Ziadaine said:
Yes, I know what's it's like to see the people you love go straight into the worst kind of relationships.
Kinda, but different.Ziadaine said:
Currently a close family member of mine is in a situation. He got his girlfriend of 4 months pregnant. They decided that they're keeping the baby despite neither of them sitting on solid financial ground and both are barely 20. Both of their families (myself included) are angry but supportive (though I'm jaded and cynical and believe that they are going to have a nasty break-up about 2 or 3 years from now).
Would you agree that this is close to your friend's stupidity?
Whoops, didn't mean to come across as lecturing you, man. I just wanted to share my own opinion on the subject: I'm a little bit defensive on this subject due to having friends who've been beaten by their girlfriends because they felt they couldn't fit her back due to her gender.Guffe said:
Sorry about that. ;;
Same answer to you as to the one I quoted above!!!AngloDoom said:
[/quote]
Whoops, didn't mean to come across as lecturing you, man. I just wanted to share my own opinion on the subject: I'm a little bit defensive on this subject due to having friends who've been beaten by their girlfriends because they felt they couldn't fit her back due to her gender.
Sorry about that. ;;[/quote]
Friends, as in many? wow, well I won't say that I wouldn't defend myself against a person hitting me, I am completely on your side that if a woman attacks me then the equality steps in and I defend myself the same way as against a man. Well I guess I took your post a bit too harshly but I wouldn't "bop her in the nose..." ^^ I wouldn't until it's really necessary against anyone. But I see your point of view and I agree on it.
You've just not met the right woman.Guffe said:
On the topic of the police in domestic abuse cases they really need the abused spouse to come forward and testify or the police can't really do anything, unfortunately. Video evidence may help though if you could get some.
So true, it's sad that many don't have the courage because they fear what might happen after he/she gets to know that it was you who told the cops what was going on. And it isn't thate asy to just move and change your name and so on, living in fear for the rest of your life, really sad that we live in a world like this.Actual said:
Guffe said:
Sorry to just kind of invade your conversation here Fellows, but I have a few words on the subject.
First of all I think it is fair to fight back against a woman using the same amount of force she is. Don't tell me if a girl was beating on you with a fire-poker you would try to reason with her.
Secondly I think fighting gets terrible press. Mainly because it is abused by an incredible amount of idiots. But fighting is both sport and a way for you to protect what's yours and the people you love. Also some people deserve to be beaten. If you had the power to put someone in their place who is terrorising those weaker than them, I'd like to believe you would.
Well I would fight back if someone was trying to hurt me or my close friends/family or as you said protecting someone a lot weaker than the one attacking. But I avoid it to the bitter end, often talking helps and you can get away without any damage done, but if it doesn't and there's no other way then some force must be used.HandfulofWolf said:
And the part about fighting back when someone is attacking you, I call it self defense and it's completely legal to keep someone who's trying to hurt you with some amount of force (enough to get the job done but not too much) to make sure you don't get hurt.
As for sports like martial arts, that is violence too yeah but it's in a controlled environment and usually people don't get too hurt. Then there are these fight club or whatever these professional kick boxing things are but those who have joined in them are there of their own free will, harassment is done against ones will and that's the difference. If someone wants legally to fight for money and fame then go for it.
It's nice when people invade conversations and make contact, as long as it is not flaming or trolling ^^