So, My Friend is Engaged... To a Psycho..

[HandfulofWolf]

a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

A REAL man doesn't hit anyone or anything.A REAL MAN can talk things over,be diplomatic,and generally stay calm when things around him start yelling.

OT:I have no real advice to give here.But an Intervention might help?
I know that you said that she doesn't listen to you,her friends.But an intervention could maybe,JUST maybe,make her see the light.
Although this is just a shot in the wind.

Thanks for fixing it, I am completely with you here, I have never been in a fight and I avoid them to the bitter end, but there are two things I would surely fight for, a woman harasser and if someone would be beating a family member of mine, especially my younger brother!!!
But you are so right on the never fighting part!!

Sorry to just kind of invade your conversation here Fellows, but I have a few words on the subject.

First of all I think it is fair to fight back against a woman using the same amount of force she is. Don't tell me if a girl was beating on you with a fire-poker you would try to reason with her.

Secondly I think fighting gets terrible press. Mainly because it is abused by an incredible amount of idiots. But fighting is both sport and a way for you to protect what's yours and the people you love. Also some people deserve to be beaten. If you had the power to put someone in their place who is terrorising those weaker than them, I'd like to believe you would.

Well I would fight back if someone was trying to hurt me or my close friends/family or as you said protecting someone a lot weaker than the one attacking. But I avoid it to the bitter end, often talking helps and you can get away without any damage done, but if it doesn't and there's no other way then some force must be used.
And the part about fighting back when someone is attacking you, I call it self defense and it's completely legal to keep someone who's trying to hurt you with some amount of force (enough to get the job done but not too much) to make sure you don't get hurt.
As for sports like martial arts, that is violence too yeah but it's in a controlled environment and usually people don't get too hurt. Then there are these fight club or whatever these professional kick boxing things are but those who have joined in them are there of their own free will, harassment is done against ones will and that's the difference. If someone wants legally to fight for money and fame then go for it.
It's nice when people invade conversations and make contact, as long as it is not flaming or trolling ^^

I see and respect your point. Although I think the subject of violence is more complex than we need to express here today.

 

[FaustCainus]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

Indeed he may not be a Psychopath. As a sociopath, similar to psychopath, I have only ever hit a woman in self defense, also a psychopath would hide his violence to "appear" normal though a sociopath wouldn't bother. My guess though... he is just an asshole.

 

[Kurokami]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

Indeed he may not be a Psychopath. As a sociopath, similar to psychopath, I have only ever hit a woman in self defense, also a psychopath would hide his violence to "appear" normal though a sociopath wouldn't bother. My guess though... he is just an asshole.

Actually a true psychopath wouldn't engage in a relationship at all, probably have broken the law several times by now and if over 18 scored a seat in Jail. Only successful psychopaths aim to hide their psychopathy and deceive their way up to success and they're very rare. Both however hold no particular value to principles/morals.

 

[FaustCainus]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

Indeed he may not be a Psychopath. As a sociopath, similar to psychopath, I have only ever hit a woman in self defense, also a psychopath would hide his violence to "appear" normal though a sociopath wouldn't bother. My guess though... he is just an asshole.

Actually a true psychopath wouldn't engage in a relationship at all, probably have broken the law several times by now and if over 18 scored a seat in Jail. Only successful psychopaths aim to hide their psychopathy and deceive their way up to success and they're very rare. Both however hold no particular value to principles/morals.

Also not necessarily true, if the relationship serves some purpose in the psychopaths goals, they may enter a relationship, but yes, not for romantic reasons. As such the relationship would be pretty bad, possibly (read: likely) abusive, but the abuse would likely be hidden in order to keep appearances, as being a known abuser would likely hurt his or her goals.

But again, as there is no reference to how this relationship benefits him, only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find, is not a valid reason for a psychopath to remain in a relationship.

 

[Kurokami]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

Indeed he may not be a Psychopath. As a sociopath, similar to psychopath, I have only ever hit a woman in self defense, also a psychopath would hide his violence to "appear" normal though a sociopath wouldn't bother. My guess though... he is just an asshole.

Actually a true psychopath wouldn't engage in a relationship at all, probably have broken the law several times by now and if over 18 scored a seat in Jail. Only successful psychopaths aim to hide their psychopathy and deceive their way up to success and they're very rare. Both however hold no particular value to principles/morals.

Also not necessarily true, if the relationship serves some purpose in the psychopaths goals, they may enter a relationship, but yes, not for romantic reasons. As such the relationship would be pretty bad, possibly (read: likely) abusive, but the abuse would likely be hidden in order to keep appearances, as being a known abuser would likely hurt his or her goals.

But again, as there is no reference to how this relationship benefits him, only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find, is not a valid reason for a psychopath to remain in a relationship.

If I failed to express it in my previous post (sorry but not gonna re-read my post), successful psychopaths are very rare amongst psychopaths, and normal psychopaths would not care for benefiting themselves, they just act on impulse and don't take social conventions or emotions into account at all. A successful psychopath would not hit unless he had reason to hurt, which to be frank I can't think of one unless he aimed to kill, or maim the person.

 

[FaustCainus]

agreed

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

Indeed he may not be a Psychopath. As a sociopath, similar to psychopath, I have only ever hit a woman in self defense, also a psychopath would hide his violence to "appear" normal though a sociopath wouldn't bother. My guess though... he is just an asshole.

Actually a true psychopath wouldn't engage in a relationship at all, probably have broken the law several times by now and if over 18 scored a seat in Jail. Only successful psychopaths aim to hide their psychopathy and deceive their way up to success and they're very rare. Both however hold no particular value to principles/morals.

Also not necessarily true, if the relationship serves some purpose in the psychopaths goals, they may enter a relationship, but yes, not for romantic reasons. As such the relationship would be pretty bad, possibly (read: likely) abusive, but the abuse would likely be hidden in order to keep appearances, as being a known abuser would likely hurt his or her goals.

But again, as there is no reference to how this relationship benefits him, only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find, is not a valid reason for a psychopath to remain in a relationship.

If I failed to express it in my previous post (sorry but not gonna re-read my post), successful psychopaths are very rare amongst psychopaths, and normal psychopaths would not care for benefiting themselves, they just act on impulse and don't take social conventions or emotions into account at all. A successful psychopath would not hit unless he had reason to hurt, which to be frank I can't think of one unless he aimed to kill, or maim the person.

agreed, though some times non-fatal violence is the quickest, and therefore to a psychopath, the best solution.