So, on a scale of 1-10, how bad is this?

[Bealzibob]

Well in my opinion I would have to know this mate of yours. If he seems like he would do that sober than he's a terrible person but he was smashed from the sounds and that means he can't be held liable for his actions if we are to judge this situation like most other sexual situations when in accordance to alcohol.

In all honesty I find it scary to think that your life for a long time could be defined by a decision that you have difficulty remembering. This could likely apply to both people in your situation.

 

[Gudrests]

If she was legitimately knocked out, like, cold on the mattress because she passed out, I'd say that is crossing the line. At least he didn't rape her or something. That would be a sticky situation...

is it wrong i want to laugh at that last sentence, merely because of the context of sex?
but yeah, i would say maybe a 3 if she was just drunk because its uncomfortable and kind of taking advantage. but out cold is about an 8. at least it wasnt rape.

Gotta agree here the drunk unless it was passing out like...couldnt say owns name id say a 5 or 6, this shit is an 8, rape is a 9 10 is....well...preggo

 

[agrajagthetesty]

You miss understand , he stoped himself , he realised what he was doing was wrong and stoped , there was nothing preventing him from continuing on . And the example you gave wasn't fair . It's as if you were in a fight with someone , you had him pinned down and you are wailing on him , and you stop yourself before seriously hurting or potentially killing him. Yes it is still wrong , yes you are still guilty of assault , but at least you stoped yourself before commiting killing the guy .

I'm not sure that I am misunderstanding, actually, but I'll address your points. First of all, I don't think that your analogy of a fight is appropriate. A fight is mutual; it involves two parties, both taking part in the violence. This was not mutual in any way - the woman was utterly powerless and had no part in the matter save to be fondled without her consent.

Assuming that your analogy doesn't refer to a fight so much as an unsolicited physical attack (I'm going to talk as if I'm the perpetrator, just for the sake of it) - yes, in that situation I could kill the man I'm attacking, but just because I don't doesn't mean I should be lauded. Do I stop because I don't have the guts to kill him? Because I'm afraid of the consequences? That's hardly "realising what I'm doing is wrong"; I wouldn't deserve credit if that was my motive for stopping. Even if it is my conscience stopping me from killing him, it's some seriously imperfect/delayed morals that kick in after I've already beaten him up and pinned him down. I know you've said that in that situation I'd still be guilty, but I just think it's a faulty argument to attempt to soften the crimes I committed by talking about what I theoretically could have done. We should approach the situation by thinking about what I did do. Otherwise, you could attempt to justify all sorts of things by saying that the person could have done worse but didn't.

Also, I'm not sure that it's relevant to point out that there was nothing stopping him from continuing. You can't really make moral judgements about a person's restraint when outside factors are preventing them from doing bad things.

 

[Tiger Sora]

Give him a good smack upside the head. Thats what should of happened after he told you. What an idiot. Just hope he'll take things to heart and never pull this kind of thing n anyone. Without consent *Wink*.

 

[Ready2Go]

I don't think you or she should stop being friends with the guy, but he does to apologise and needs to regain your and her trust

 

[Sacman]

I read an article on Cracked a while ago that was titled... Ladies: Why all of your male friends secretly want to fuck you... I find this relevant...<.<

OT: what can I say? it was a dick move but I can't exactly say it was unexpected...<.<

 

[Shock and Awe]

6, pretty gross but as long as she doesn't find out I see no issue.

 

[Sjakie]

First of all, no this is not me I'm talking about here. Seriously. But I want your opinion on this because I don't feel right about it and got into a huge fight over it.

A buddy of mine went out dancing with his best friend last weekend. This best friend of his is a girl and they spend all their time together.

The other day we were hanging out and he tells me that that night they both got drunk and went back to her place, and while she was passed out drunk he "felt her up". I asked him what he meant. He said he just kind of groped her or whatever but not actual sex.

I was disgusted. And I am no prude. But this just kind of crossed the line to me. I told him he's not really her friend because a true friend would never do anything like that. I know he's always wanted more from this girl and they are super close. But that's why I was upset. Because she obviously trusts him, and then she passes out and he totally takes advantage of her. Again, according to him, he didn't actually do the deed and he said he only did it for a few minutes before crashing on the couch, but just the fact that he was doing stuff to her while she was out like that just seems wrong to me.

Am I overreacting?

Yes, your overreacting. But dont let that keep you from correcting your "friend", he should know he did wrong. Since he told you, he probably knows. Everybody fucks up sometimes.

He was drunk and despite the reduced mental restraints that that causes and the long lasting desire he has towards this girl he still kept his dick in his pants and stopped before he really fucked up.

That is comendable and a sign that despite his desires he cared enough to stop himself (which is really hard if your drunk, i know)

It's not the best outcome, but he did oke. Best to learn from it and move on.

 

[Harry Mason]

If I condoned violence, I'd say KICK HIS ASS.

As it is, I'd just suggest not being friends with someone that skeevy, and perhaps telling the girl what happened.

 

[QuantumT]

Meh, I feel basically every post in this thread is unwarranted. Nobody here really has any idea about the relationship between the two parties. The only person here even remotely qualified to make a judgement like that is the OP, and even then he doesn't really know what's going on that well necessarily. It probably would still be a good idea to let the girl know, preferably with the guy present so he has an opportunity to explain himself.

As for legal prosecution, no DA with any common sense would touch this case, because there is literally zero court admissible evidence that anything occurred in the first place.

 

[Rodrigo Girao]

Too much drama for a little drunk groping. Pff. Forget it and move on.

 

[KiKiweaky]

Thats generally how predators start out :/

They entertain ideas like this but fantasizing and not doing anything about it will only work for so long, I reckon your friend could have a few surprises in store for you in the coming years.

 

[Dastardly]

Am I overreacting?

No.

How does "oh, it wasn't sex" make this any better? That's like saying, "Yeah, I totally killed that guy, but I was wearing gloves the whole time."

He treated himself to another person's body without their express permission. That is the act of a person that doesn't see other people as people. That is a highly dangerous person, especially if no one calls him on that.

Above all, that girl needs to know. That doesn't mean she needs to hear it from you, of course, but she should know. She should also learn not to get drunk in the company of people she can't completely trust.

Your friend needs to realize that what he did is in no way harmless.

 

[Dastardly]

If she was legitimately knocked out, like, cold on the mattress because she passed out, I'd say that is crossing the line. At least he didn't rape her or something. That would be a sticky situation...

Edit: Yes, I know what I said and there is a reason I said it. Congrats on many of you catching my joke.

What I have to wonder is what makes something like this 'not as bad' as rape?

He treated another person's body as though it were his, and he did so without express permission or right of any kind. Just because he didn't use his penis doesn't mean it wasn't a sexual intrusion.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

A formula for this sort of behavior:

X represents how drunk the guy is on a scale of 1 to 10.
Y is whether the girl is fully passed out or just also very drunk. If she is just drunk like the guy is, Y = 1. If totally passed out, Y = 2.
Z is how close they are as friends on a scale of 1 to 10.

(Y x Z)/X = T

T is your total of how bad your friend's action was.

 

[Raykuza]

Oh guys, come on. If a GUY has a best friend GIRL, it means these two things:

1) he wants to be 'more than just friends' with her
2) she knows about it

Still hanging around together? Getting drunk together? Something like this would happen sooner or later. You know, mating instincts and shit? Why does everyone seem to think people are above that? With Earth population of 6 billion and still rising?

So, on the scale - 5, but not because he's bad or anything, but because he's dumb enough to not let her go, and she's a ***** enough to keep him salivating over her.

Ah whatever, nobody is going to read this anyway, with 200+ posts of revulsion.

Yeah, she is totally stringing him along, especially by getting dunk with him. I honestly feel more sorry for the guy than the girl. It's not cool to play with someone's unrequited affections.

 

[thirion1850]

Yeah, I think you're overreacting a little. What he did is wrong, but if they're very close then perhaps things aren't as bad as they may seem.

 

[ZeroMachine]

That's molestation. It's disgusting no matter how you spin it.