So, on a scale of 1-10, how bad is this?
- Thread starter ckriley
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Your friend did something terrible. Nothing more to say about it, other than being simply terrible.
Your buddy is definitely in the wrong, what he did was illegal, make him confess what he did to her. No one should get away with doing such things.
(not really willing to read through 7 pages of stuff, so I'll probably just be repeating what others have said)
Are you overreacting? No, not necessarily.
Is this forum overreacting? If the circumstances are right, I'd say yeah, a little bit.
Consider this; she was drunk enough to pass out. Your friend/former-bud/whatever was most likely stinking drunk as well. Consider the fact that people have done so much worse when drunk. While I am not saying that drunkenness is an excuse for this kind of behavior, it does put it into perspective to the stupid shit people do when intoxicated.
Now, how did the guy tell you about what he did? Was he going "Yo, dude, I totally fondled that ***** up" or was he more "Dude, I am not proud of what I did..."? This distinction is important, as, to me, it's a difference between a 3-4 rating and a 7-8 rating on your scale.
If the guy knows he fucked up, and he admits his fuck up to you and the girl, then I'd say it's alright in the end. In this case, calling the cops, trying to charge him for rape, get him on the child molester registry, would be way overkill considering he's learned his lesson before any serious shit goes down, yo.
If, however, he had no remorse over what he did, either bragging to you or offhandedly mentioning it, then that is a dangerous sign. That, to me, seems like a sign of a dangerous man who is a risk to the girl that he supposedly loves.
Again, it's all in context. I think some people are knee-jerking just a little too hard, practically screaming for his blood on the walls.
Are you overreacting? No, not necessarily.
Is this forum overreacting? If the circumstances are right, I'd say yeah, a little bit.
Consider this; she was drunk enough to pass out. Your friend/former-bud/whatever was most likely stinking drunk as well. Consider the fact that people have done so much worse when drunk. While I am not saying that drunkenness is an excuse for this kind of behavior, it does put it into perspective to the stupid shit people do when intoxicated.
Now, how did the guy tell you about what he did? Was he going "Yo, dude, I totally fondled that ***** up" or was he more "Dude, I am not proud of what I did..."? This distinction is important, as, to me, it's a difference between a 3-4 rating and a 7-8 rating on your scale.
If the guy knows he fucked up, and he admits his fuck up to you and the girl, then I'd say it's alright in the end. In this case, calling the cops, trying to charge him for rape, get him on the child molester registry, would be way overkill considering he's learned his lesson before any serious shit goes down, yo.
If, however, he had no remorse over what he did, either bragging to you or offhandedly mentioning it, then that is a dangerous sign. That, to me, seems like a sign of a dangerous man who is a risk to the girl that he supposedly loves.
Again, it's all in context. I think some people are knee-jerking just a little too hard, practically screaming for his blood on the walls.
Sounds to me like your friend is weak willed if he was playing that game the whole time by just appearing as a friend to both you and her just to get a piece of ass which shows that he's been weak willed all along to give into such an easy temptation by thinking with his dick imo.
I would probably sort it out with him and let her know your side of the story and let her make a decision since he did grope her without her knowing since she does deserve to know and have her say.
I would probably sort it out with him and let her know your side of the story and let her make a decision since he did grope her without her knowing since she does deserve to know and have her say.
So people are going a little overboard with their reactions here. I mean he was trashed and he felt her up a bit. Also from what it sounds like he didn't even go under the clothing, but we can't be sure about that. He also is showing guilt if he admitted it clearly he is ashamed of what he did.
Now I'm not saying his friend was right for doing it, but all these people telling OP to get a new friend are being a bit harsh. Its not like he kept pouring her drinks in the hopes of eventually taking advantage of her drunken state. He copped a feel and while that is creepy that he did it to her while she was passed out at least hes showing guilt for what he did.
He wasn't right for doing it, but you shouldn't ostracize him just for one incident. Especially when he feels guilty about what he did.
Now I'm not saying his friend was right for doing it, but all these people telling OP to get a new friend are being a bit harsh. Its not like he kept pouring her drinks in the hopes of eventually taking advantage of her drunken state. He copped a feel and while that is creepy that he did it to her while she was passed out at least hes showing guilt for what he did.
He wasn't right for doing it, but you shouldn't ostracize him just for one incident. Especially when he feels guilty about what he did.
Considering he was drunk and no actual damage was done, I'd try to forgive him.
But if he's proud of this and is openly bragging about it, you should probably tell the girl about this. If this could potentially escalate, you have a responsibility to warn everyone involved.
But if he's proud of this and is openly bragging about it, you should probably tell the girl about this. If this could potentially escalate, you have a responsibility to warn everyone involved.
ALL RIGHT BOOBIES! I'm gonna make my hands in go like this (Squeezing Motion) and if you get felt up, it's your OWN fault! lolTruly-A-Lie said:
Lots of over reacting in this thread, people suggesting you beat him up, shoot him, go immediately to the police. No, here is a more likely scenario. The two of them got super drunk, were fooling around when she fell asleep(Or passed out) and he copped a feel. Why were a guy and girl getting drunk alone (just the two of them) in a private place? Sounds to me like there was more consent then he may have told you. Perhaps he thought it'd sound 'cooler' if he phrased it as "totally felt her while she was passed out."
It wasn't a great thing to do, but I'd rate it no more then a 2 out of 10.
It wasn't a great thing to do, but I'd rate it no more then a 2 out of 10.
No, you did the right thing by calling him out. It's one thing to go have a consensual grope session, but another to do it while she's passed out. That's actually defined as sexual assault.
flamingjimmy said:
I don't think you guys have ever had a legitimate friend if this would be an action you would take.lord.jeff said:
He did something disgusting while he was extremely drunk. He didn't rape her. She didn't sustain any physical or mental damage from it. She knows absolutely nothing about it. Everybody got out in one piece and (I'm assuming) he was very sorry about it.
I'm not going to potentially risk getting a friend of mine put on the Sex offender list and ruining his life for something that he confided to me in secrecy that isn't that big of a deal. not to mention that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want that girl to know that her friend had a moment of weakness and violated her. This is when you step up to help him, or tell him to get help.
Edit: I feel it's necessary to tell you that no, you didn't over react. That was basically the reaction that you should have had.
Basically what this guy said.Jumplion said:
You left a lot out making it hard to tell, but is this really so upsetting to you that you'd risk getting your friend on the Sex offender list?