So relationships...Why?

[devotedsniper]

When it comes to love/relationships i'm abit of a romantic, a big softy and an idiot at the same time...

To me a relationship can get through anything provided enough work is put into it, but really? the appeal of a relationship is having someone who completely gets me (or at least for the most part), someone who doesn't try to change me, someone who i can go to sleep with and wake up with, someone to love, someone who wants to cuddle while watching a movie, theres plenty of reasons why but i think you get the idea.

I'm currently single though and enjoying the drama freeness, well other than the stress and drama that uni brings and if your wondering why i'll leave a bit of info before.

Spoiler: background info

I've had 3 girlfriends, #1 my first love and best friend, #2 someone who i'm close friends with now and #3 my ex fiance.

So what you may ask well time for abit of background info, fell for #1 went out for several months then broke up, dated #2 same story, back to #1 for abit again, then #3 kind of got engaged (at 17 this is way too early i realise but after being together for a year it sort of just happened), but as time went by i pulled away from her because of how she acted (she didn't want me to go to uni, and there were other reasons), then starting to talk to #1 again after a big fall out just before dating #3, i decided i wanted her back again so i went back to her leaving #3. 8-9months down the line after an argument she tells me 4-5 month ago when we had an argument she got drunk and slept with her neighbour (she also thought she may be pregnant), me being the idiot forgives her but she leaves me anyway cause she hurt me (not realising it hurt more to be dumped, again yes i'm a hopeless idiot, it also sent me into deep depression, causing myself to cut myself something i've never done before), several months went by and we tried again for a month which didn't work out i was too busy with uni and the fact i couldn't get the two of them having sex out of my head (but she didn't and still doesn't know the last bit). And now were talking again and i'm getting feelings again (shoot me now lol).

See why i'm enjoying single life at the min lol?

 

[Plurralbles]

well... they are appealing because I'm a needy bastard.

Therefore, I will let someone tug on me for 10 weeks and get nowhere, in fact, further away. In fact^2, she'll fuck a guy she met at a party after 2 weeks of knowing he existed. Fucking harlot...

I am now dating someone who doesn't treat me like crap... mostly because she doesn't treat me like crap.

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

 

[Johanthemonster666]

To answer the question posed in the thread title: Because sex can be fun (given the right partner and circumstances)... and hunting new partners all the time is a lot of work.

On that note, I firmly believe the concept of "romantic love" started as a confused combination of friendship and sex, then evolved into the ugly, religious following it is today. I still think love stories are cute sometimes... but it's really just fantasy.
This from a guy in a long-term monogamous relationship (2 years, so far).

Same here, I've been with my partner for 2 years and it's been a wonderful (albeit challenging) experience. The first thing that struck me about this current relationship was how calm, pleasant, and mature it was compared to the ones before (those could be summed up as motivated by sex, anxiety, 'butterflies in the stomach' hormones, and bad judgment). He's my best friend, and monogamous lover without all the obligatory rituals and exercises heterosexual couples think they have to go through to seem normal.

I believe the meaning of "love" is too vague a term in western society and tends to be ridiculously blown out of proportion, idealized, and supported by more traditional values. Apparently keeping sex within marriage and bearing children (for church ministers and everyone else) were the only real reasons the recent concepts of love were ever tolerated by protestant establishment.

Newer generations are changing the paradigm, and I say amen to that. The traditional model seems to fail 30-40% of the time in couples who've been married for more than 5 years, and in newly wed couples it's around 60-65%. I mention marriage because it's essentially the same as a regular MxF, MxM,FxF intimate partner set up (only recognized by law).

 

[Johanthemonster666]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.
Woody Allen is better at this than I

Just saw the film twice this week, my film/literature professor thinks it's the best film by Woody Allen.

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.
Woody Allen is better at this than I

Just saw the film twice this week, my film/literature professor thinks it's the best film by Woody Allen.

Then I highly recommend another Woody Allen movie called "Hannah & Her Sisters", I personally thinks its even better than Annie Hall, if by a small margin. Its certainly funnier in my opinion

 

[creager91]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

I kind of want to see that movie now haha it does look good, is that the name of the movie? Annie Hall?

 

[Technicolor]

They can be hell, but really life is kinda empty without them. I have no regrets.

Woody Allen is better at this than I

I kind of want to see that movie now haha it does look good, is that the name of the movie? Annie Hall?

Yeah its called Annie Hall, and it won the 1977 Best Picture Oscar, its the only comedy to ever to do so in the past 30 years.
Don't worry, I didn't spoil anything, the movie tells you the ending in the first five minutes

 

[creager91]

snip

Ill have to look that one up, and I didnt even think it spoiled anything anyway so its cool

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I've met a lot of people in 23 years. I've met people who've made me laugh, people who've made me cry, people who've pissed me off. I've met people who I thought I loved and people I know I hate.

I've been in a few relationships. None of them ended really badly (for me) but a few really irked me. I went a bit cynical for a while; went through a period where my only relationships were long distance. I found the person I want to be with. It's difficult to describe but once you meet that person, if you meet that person, you'll understand.

 

[sassafrasses]

I think I'm going to just give up on relationships. They never seem to work out. The last guy I was trying to have a relationship with was really sweet and everything I want(ed) but of course, it didnt work out for whatever reason and we aren't speaking either right now.

I guess the point of relationships is to find your soulmate/better-half or whatever you want to call it.

 

[badgersprite]

I'm not interested in them right now, but I intend to pursue them eventually, because, you know, if I don't, then what's the point of my existence? What's the use of having lived if there's nobody left behind who remembers me? No legacy?

I don't know about other people, but I'd feel like I'd wasted my life if I didn't eventually settle down with someone and have some kind of domestic life with somebody, even if we don't necessarily have children of our own.

 

[creager91]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

 

[sassafrasses]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

You and that guy I mentioned in my earlier post would get along great.

 

[Nimcha]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

Why 25?

 

[Ham_authority95]

Hello fellow escapists. I was wondering what you guys could tell me about relationships and why they are so appealing to you or unappealing. As for myself I have become somewhat of a cynic in the past few years and I feel that relationships are just reasons to induce stress, worry, and jealousy also a colossal waste of money. Now granted I have been asked if I was a...pick up artist I think the term was?

Anywho the point is that I'll admit, ever since my ex left me I kind of became a bit of a player and thus a cynic but enough about me what do you guys think? and also if you feel the need to persuade me otherwise I do try to keep an open mind so fire away

The thing I like about my current relationship is the steady stream of awesome, intimate fun we have.

We're both really into music, so we can jam together. We like the same comedy, so we can tell jokes and watch comedians together for hours. She has a really interesting life, so we can talk about that for hours. We like fucked up weird shit, so we do/walk about that for hours. We both like sexual activity, so we can do that together...

Today we played with a sampler and made tons of beats together while completely sucking at it and we promised to write some Hip-hop songs to go with it...good times.

Hopefully that answers your question. If you like not being in relationships and just sleeping with people, than you should continue with it if you're happy.

 

[creager91]

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

You and that guy I mentioned in my earlier post would get along great.

Not sure I follow that.

The way I see it right now is that 99% of relationships before the age of 25 are bullshit

Why 25?

Just a personal number I guess. It just seems that to me that people tend to get tired of the party and dating scene around this age + or - 2 yers I guess

 

[sassafrasses]

We seek relationships because being alone sucks

You know, I kinda agree with this. Being alone does suck, but there's more to it than that. Everyone wants someone, we're all afraid of being rejected and alone for the rest of our lives. Some people actually want to get married and have kids someday. Some people just need to find out what they like/want in a significant other, and what they don't like/want. Some people just make it up as they go along and really have no clue. Some people know what they want, but cant have it for whatever reason...

Reality: relationships require work and if only one person is doing the work, the relationship will fail. I learned something about relationships from watching CSI once "If a relationship cannot move forward, it withers and dies"