So some woman are afraid of me because of my job....

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Fieldy409_v1legacy

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Oct 9, 2008
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Right so, my job? I'm a carpentry apprentice. I help build houses. Im not a builder, but people who don't know what that means would throw me under that name and I do build houses sometimes. Mostly I do Rennovations...which I hate so much, nothings square and the old walls are filled with spiders and dust.

So, like first off, I notice a massive difference in the way people treat me in my work clothes, people seem...a little afraid of me. I have seen plenty of women notice me when I am working close to the street or going to get a tool from the van and when they do, they cross the street. Sure some of them were probably planning to do that anyway, but It happens a lot and I can never shake that feeling that they are expecting me to grope them or something.

Some of that is likely paranoia. I know for a fact at least one woman thinks that way, my sister told me how her friend actually said to her(not knowing what her brother and father did) that she was always afraid walking past building sites that the builders were going to rape her. She actually said rape, not the stereotypical catcalling or whatever, this person thinks we are rapists!

Im not ugly or scary looking either, women are very friendly to me when Im not in my workclothes. It can be pretty uncanny the difference. I am young and women do find me attractive, I dont have any of the other things people typically assosciate with intimidating like tatoos and piercings.

Theres other things too. People seem to think im tough because of my job and would be good in a fight(Yes my job does keep me fit but strength means nothing when you have zero experience, I havent thrown a real punch since primary school.)

Ill admit, there are some people in my industry that do nothing but drink, fight and think of nothing but fucking in their free time. Yet they are the minority and most of us are actually professionals who just want to do our job. People being afraid of us cant be good for us if people are actually too afraid to hire a contractor to fix their house or whatever.

Im kinda rambling here... So people of the escapist, especially women. What do you think when you see a builder, or a labourer or tradesman of any other job. Am I just being paranoid for the most part?
 

KimiJay

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Apr 30, 2010
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Usually when i see a builder i think "hey, there's a builder." it's only when someone has a creepy look about them that i'll cross the road away from them.
 

lRookiel

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Jun 30, 2011
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I judge on how I read that person (Which I'm fairly good at). If I see someone wearing a hoodie, cap, hunched over with their hands in their pockets, I would avoid that kind of individual.

If I saw someone in overalls, visibility jacket, boots and a hard hat, working on an extension. I would just think that it's another regular person doing their job, hopefully doing it right and the only other thought I would make is "I hope they do that person who is paying them good money a good job". We got a problem with rogue builders in the UK..... No offence to anyone who takes pride in their work really, I like a job done properly.
 

Zantos

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Jan 5, 2011
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This made me think of a nice, heartwarming story my Dad e-mailed me a few days ago.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site, and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so, provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.'

OT: I think it is a bit ridiculous, sometimes workmen can look a little intimidating but to actually be afraid of them is a bit much. That said, I'm a fairly big bloke and I can give them a nob and a "Alright mate" as I pass which is usually returned in a friendly manner. Don't get bummed out about it, just smile and nod at the ones that don't cross, in this day and age a smile from a stranger in the street is the sort of thing that makes you feel fuzzy inside.

Can I ask whereabouts you work? If you're in Britain, I think the attitude is different depending on which side of Birmingham you're on.
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

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Zantos said:
This made me think of a nice, heartwarming story my Dad e-mailed me a few days ago.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site, and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so, provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.'

OT: I think it is a bit ridiculous, sometimes workmen can look a little intimidating but to actually be afraid of them is a bit much. That said, I'm a fairly big bloke and I can give them a nob and a "Alright mate" as I pass which is usually returned in a friendly manner. Don't get bummed out about it, just smile and nod at the ones that don't cross, in this day and age a smile from a stranger in the street is the sort of thing that makes you feel fuzzy inside.

Can I ask whereabouts you work? If you're in Britain, I think the attitude is different depending on which side of Birmingham you're on.

That story was hilarious. Thats the sort of thing I'd believe really happened.
I'm an Australian. Specifically I work in the city of Launceston in the state of Tasmania. Lovely state, much colder than the rest of Australia in winter but less hot too. It's actually compared to England in climate a lot. Less rain though.

I guess that's all there is to it. Just be nice and try to change people's opinions. It feels good to vent these worries somewhere.
 

Phasmal

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Jun 10, 2011
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Fieldy409 said:
Im kinda rambling here... So people of the escapist, especially women. What do you think when you see a builder, or a labourer or tradesman of any other job. Am I just being paranoid for the most part?
I'm a woman.
You've just made me really paranoid about offending builders.
See, I normally do cross the road, if there is scaffolding. I have this thing about walking under scaffolding, I hate doing it, so I'll cross the street in order to avoid doing it. I hope the people working on those buildings dont think I think they are rapists.

Otherwise, I've always found builders to be very friendly to me, but if I had been catcalled I might be a little more defensive. But mostly I dont pay attention, really. Though I wont walk between a van and a wall if I can avoid it, seen too much TV, I always expect the door to fly open and get grabbed. XD

I wouldn't get offended, if I were you, if people are scared it's not to do with you, it's their deal.
 

Fieldy409_v1legacy

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Phasmal said:
Fieldy409 said:
Im kinda rambling here... So people of the escapist, especially women. What do you think when you see a builder, or a labourer or tradesman of any other job. Am I just being paranoid for the most part?
I'm a woman.
You've just made me really paranoid about offending builders.
See, I normally do cross the road, if there is scaffolding. I have this thing about walking under scaffolding, I hate doing it, so I'll cross the street in order to avoid doing it. I hope the people working on those buildings dont think I think they are rapists.

Otherwise, I've always found builders to be very friendly to me, but if I had been catcalled I might be a little more defensive. But mostly I dont pay attention, really. Though I wont walk between a van and a wall if I can avoid it, seen too much TV, I always expect the door to fly open and get grabbed. XD

I wouldn't get offended, if I were you, if people are scared it's not to do with you, it's their deal.
That's fair enough and I don't think I'd be worried about that. Never worked on a scaffold over the top of a walkway. The homes here have a lot of yard space. Never been on one of the big jobs in the city centre either .

People are pointing out a lot of reasons to cross the street I didn't think of. Maybe I have been quick to judge some people.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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Strange man, probably strong from his line of work, knows the place inside and out, has a perfectly legitimate reason to be in the environment handling equipment unfamiliar to the general public?

And that's without the group acts of sexual objectification towards women that comes with the builder stereotype.

No, it is not fair to men to have to deal with women suspecting them of being possible rapists, but rape is too real a threat to not be paranoid.
I'm sorry things are this way, and I'm very sorry that its worse when you're dressed for your job, but please, bear with us women. We don't like it, either.
 

LooK iTz Jinjo

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Feb 22, 2009
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I'm not sure where you're from, but in Australia, pretty much the fastest way to get in a girls pants is to mention you're a "tradie."
 

Evil Smurf

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Nov 11, 2011
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at least they don't think you are gay! (not being rude) I study childcare and some girls in my class though I was. It kinda sucked
 

Crenelate

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Wow, she expects to get raped? That's a bit weird. I'll cross the street if there's scaffolding or I'm likely to be getting in the way of people working, but that's a courtesy/safety thing, nothing to do with the builders themselves. If I get cat called walking one way I may come back on the opposite side of the street to avoid embarrassment, but otherwise builders are just builders, right? Just trying to do their job for the most part.
 

LooK iTz Jinjo

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imahobbit4062 said:
LooK iTz Jinjo said:
I'm not sure where you're from, but in Australia, pretty much the fastest way to get in a girls pants is to mention you're a "tradie."
Something I will never understand.
It perpetuates the whole stereotype of a handiman who can fix shit round the house, I have a few friends who are plumbers, paints, plasters etc. it's pretty good to just be able to call them up, have it done quick and all I have to pay is parts, plus a carton of beer. Women (here at least) seem to like the idea of a man who's good with tools and all that crap.
 

Denamic

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Here in Sweden, socialist hellhole that it is, 'class' doesn't really mean shit.
There's rich people living happily in cheap-ass 3 room apartments, and no one cares.
Our celebrities, at least some of them, goes to supermarkets with the rest of us.
Besides, the carpentry profession doesn't even have that kind of social stigma here to begin with.
 

Agow95

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I don't judge builders in general, my dad grew up helping his dad with building work, even for a few years after he became an adult, so you'd imagine he'd be a stereotypical builder, as that's all he did for 20-odd years, but he's the head of science at a secondary school, and literally the most intelligent man I know (we gave him a A-level further maths book for his last birthday, it was his favourite present)
 

michael87cn

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I know exactly how you feel, OP. I used to work in retail and I never had a problem, I wasn't even aware of the fact that people might be afraid of me until one day I worked with this one lady and she literally looked like she had seen a ghost. Her hands would shake and everything, every time I had to hand her something. It just made me feel really self conscious that someone would be so afraid of me when I knew I was in no way a bad person. I know she was afraid of me specifically because I'd seen her working with other people just fine. And I'm, not to boast but not a bad looking guy myself. I think that police officers have to deal with this a lot - especially because their uniform is designed with intimidation in mind - it must suck.

Zantos said:
This made me think of a nice, heartwarming story my Dad e-mailed me a few days ago.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site, and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so, provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.'

OT: I think it is a bit ridiculous, sometimes workmen can look a little intimidating but to actually be afraid of them is a bit much. That said, I'm a fairly big bloke and I can give them a ___nob___ and a "Alright mate" as I pass which is usually returned in a friendly manner. Don't get bummed out about it, just smile and nod at the ones that don't cross, in this day and age a smile from a stranger in the street is the sort of thing that makes you feel fuzzy inside.

Can I ask whereabouts you work? If you're in Britain, I think the attitude is different depending on which side of Birmingham you're on.
I dunno how to bold letters on this forum so I put underscores to show off your rather funny typo. lol
 

Zantos

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michael87cn said:
I know exactly how you feel, OP. I used to work in retail and I never had a problem, I wasn't even aware of the fact that people might be afraid of me until one day I worked with this one lady and she literally looked like she had seen a ghost. Her hands would shake and everything, every time I had to hand her something. It just made me feel really self conscious that someone would be so afraid of me when I knew I was in no way a bad person. I know she was afraid of me specifically because I'd seen her working with other people just fine. And I'm, not to boast but not a bad looking guy myself. I think that police officers have to deal with this a lot - especially because their uniform is designed with intimidation in mind - it must suck.

Zantos said:
This made me think of a nice, heartwarming story my Dad e-mailed me a few days ago.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site, and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so, provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.'

OT: I think it is a bit ridiculous, sometimes workmen can look a little intimidating but to actually be afraid of them is a bit much. That said, I'm a fairly big bloke and I can give them a ___nob___ and a "Alright mate" as I pass which is usually returned in a friendly manner. Don't get bummed out about it, just smile and nod at the ones that don't cross, in this day and age a smile from a stranger in the street is the sort of thing that makes you feel fuzzy inside.

Can I ask whereabouts you work? If you're in Britain, I think the attitude is different depending on which side of Birmingham you're on.
I dunno how to bold letters on this forum so I put underscores to show off your rather funny typo. lol
Haha, I completely missed that! Weird... I don't think I have sex with builders...
 

Jadak

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Nov 4, 2008
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I do it to. I'm not a woman, nor scared of workers, just a matter of having a preference to give anyone working a wide berth. They have a job to do, and it's a pretty standard mindset that when there's work going on that doesn't involve you, you keep clear.